


The Spaces Between Us

by stripeypirate



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Diners, Angst, Coming Out, Drama, F/F, Families of Choice, Feelings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, M/M, POV Third Person, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, complete with corny romance novel summary, gratuitous twin peaks references, mentions of aids, twenty-somethings x ennui
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2018-08-12 11:52:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 71,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7933585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stripeypirate/pseuds/stripeypirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year is 1985. Sakura Haruno waitresses at a local diner and wonders if dropping out of nursing school means she'll be stuck in sleepy, small-town Bedford Falls for the rest of her life, forever in her best friend's shadow. Sasuke Uchiha's a man on the run, thrust into a world deeper and darker than he ever anticipated. </p><p>The chilly Northwestern wind brings change as lives collide, and hearts are bared (as well as broken). The Double R Diner sits at the center of it all- but its foundation will need to be strong enough to weather the storm   </p><p>(Falling in love with your best friend can be just as bad as falling in love with your worst enemy).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sometime Around Midnight

He awoke to a phone ringing down the hall. The sound mingled with the last remnants of whatever he’d been dreaming about and he sat up in the dark for a minute, disoriented. The ringing continued. Without bothering to turn the light on he stomped down the hall, cursing himself for not getting an answering machine. It was still too dark to see the clock in the kitchen, but he was willing to bet it wasn’t much past three in the morning.

_If it’s Suigetsu again I’m going to kill him._ He had class in the morning. Theoretically, anyway.

“What?” He snapped into the receiver. “Do you have any idea what time-”

“Get out of there.” Karin’s voice. Even shriller than usual with fear. “Danzo’s on his way, Sasuke, he-”

“Shit.” He was suddenly very wide awake, as if someone had dumped an ice-cold bucket of water over his head.  Karin faded to a dull buzz in the background as he let the phone slip out of his hands to dangle by its cord like a hanged man.

Feet pounded on hardwood as he ran back to his bedroom. A backpack sitting innocuously by the door was overturned, divested of folders, notebooks, and pencils, and stuffed with whatever clothing he could get his hands on.

_Toothbrush. Comb. Aspirin. How much time do I have?_

His hands hesitated briefly over the stash he’d hidden in his nightstand drawer but he decided they might serve as a decent distraction for Danzo and his crew. Buy him a few extra minutes’ head start.

_Wallet. Knife. I can take a taxi to the bus station. It’s a Friday night, so there should be plenty around campus._

Minutes later and a framed photograph of his family was all that was left to watch over the empty apartment.

 

* * *

 

_Another day, another dollar,_ Sakura Haruno thought as she gave the sticky drawer on the cash register a solid whack.  The customer watched on with mild interest. He had the florid, Midwestern face and well-fed midsection that screamed “tourist” almost as much as his antsy gaggle of kids and “I Love Lumber” baseball cap. She handed him his change with a pained smile, her gaze shifting to the clock behind him.

_Twenty minutes. If that door stays shut for twenty more minutes, I can close up and get home before “Season of Love” is on._

“That was a fine slice of pie, miss,” the customer said. He pretended to tip his hat. “Say, do you know where we might be able to stay around here? Me and my family’re hoping to get down to see the Peakskill mountains tomorrow, but it’s gettin’ a bit late to drive…”

_Oh no, he’s a chatter._

She spoke in her sweetest Tour Guide voice, all the while praying that they would just _leave._

“Well we do have a motor hotel right here in Bedford Falls, but that’s not necessarily the most family-friendly place.” _Unless your family happens to be full of truck drivers and hookers._ “If you’re looking for atmosphere, you can’t beat the Lamplighter Inn. It’s right at the edge of the falls, really beautiful.” _And also pricey_. Sakura could tell by the way the skin around the man’s mouth tightened that he’d guessed as much too. “And of course there’s a Days Inn down in Benton, about half an hour down the interstate.”

The man nodded at that, thanked her again, and left with his family in tow. One of the kids was already talking excitedly about the nice TV that awaited them in the hotel.

_It’s always the same. They never stay anymore…_

“More people coming for the Peaks?” Ino elbowed her way through the double doors from kitchens, interrupting Sakura’s wistful musings.

“Yeah,” she made a face. “At least they tip well. Sometimes. What were you doing back there anyways? That was supposed to be your table.”

Ino smirked and carefully tucked a large flyaway strand of hair back into her ponytail. On closer inspection, her lipstick was smudged too.

“Never mind, if you were with Kiba, I don’t want to know.” Sakura gave an exaggerated shudder as she turned to empty the coffeepot. Customers be damned, if anyone else came in this close to closing they were out of stock. “And you’re lucky Kakashi hides out in his office all day or you’d be toast.”

Her friend laughed lecherously and poked her on the hip. “C’mon Sakura you’re no funnnn. It’s not gonna hurt anyone.”

“Oh yeah? What about when you dump him and then we’re short a busser? Naruto’s late half the time as it is.” 

“Hey I heard that!” The blond boy yelped as he barged in with a tray to clean up after the family that had just left.

“Good. Maybe you’ll set your alarm clock earlier.”

Naruto stuck his tongue out at her, but Sakura resisted responding in kind. Barely. He somehow managed to bring out her immature side better than anyone else and she fought to keep the upper hand. Someone had to be the adult in this argument. _And speaking of adults…_

“Anyways,” She said pointedly to Ino. “We were talking about you and Kiba becoming an item? How long before I have to put the ‘Now Hiring’ sign in the window- three days? A whole week?”

Ino had busied herself with counting the cash in the drawer but she paused long enough to flash her middle finger at Sakura. “Wow thanks for the vote of confidence,” she muttered sarcastically. “I dated that one Hyuuga guy for almost a year.”

“That was in tenth grade.”

“Yeah well, the sex is good okay? We’ll be fine.” She snickered wickedly as a flush crept up Sakura’s neck. “God, girl you are such a prude. We need to find you a boyfriend ASAP.”

Sakura let a stack of clean dishes clatter on the counter bad-temperedly. “Like who?” She snorted. “I’ve known everyone in this town since kindergarten.”

“Not EVERYONE.” At Sakura’s blank stare, Ino jerked her head not-so-subtly in the direction of the boy who was now wiping down the table while tunelessly humming “Eye of the Tiger.”

“Naruto? Are you _insane_?”

“What?” Ino shrugged. “He’s kinda cute, in a playful-puppy sort of way.”

“Then he’s all yours,” she scoffed. “I think I’d rather stay celibate forever.”

“Come to think of it, you’d make a pretty good nun.” The blonde girl squawked as Sakura punched her in the side.

“Very funny. I’m outta here. You, Lover Boy, and Rocky over there can finish closing since I covered your table while you were out getting a quickie.”

“Ugh whatever. Now we’re even.” Ino muttered. “You’re at least going to Shikamaru’s party tomorrow night, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there,” Sakura called over her shoulder on her way out the door. Silently she mourned the full night’s sleep she’d be losing on a day when she’d have to open the next morning, but it was pretty impossible to turn Ino down once she’d been bitten by the party bug. Besides, maybe she _would_ get lucky with the guys. Or at least drunk enough not to care.

 

* * *

 

Sakura stood outside the diner for a moment, breathing in the chilly fall air. She cursed herself for not bringing a coat, as the light breeze blew right through her thin, cotton uniform. The diner was perched on a hill just off the turnpike, so she could see the lights of Bedford Falls twinkling below.

_I’ve got to get a car,_ she thought to herself as another gust blew in. She crossed her bare arms across her chest and began the trek down a path behind the diner, worn through the woods by many local feet over the years.

The town itself was as steadfast and unchanging as ever, weathering both the seasons and the ups and downs of the economy with the same stoic determination that had caused the original settlers to stake out the densely wooded landscape in the first place. 

_Ino’s right. I probably should start looking around for a beau._ She was twenty-three after all, her mother asking about grandkids every visit.

Sakura hustled past the video store, the grocer’s, and Ed Hardee’s Auto Mechanic shop, before she finally stopped at her apartment, one of many in a cramped brick complex that housed most of the town’s single twenty-somthings before they decided to settle down and start families. Once she got inside, she waited a minute before turning on the lights, letting the peace and quiet of the empty room wash over her. Her feet ached and she kicked off her shoes with a sigh of bliss.

Still in the dark, Sakura felt her way along the wall to the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of water. Season of Love beckoned to her on the only new appliance in the place; a rabbit-eared TV set her mother had given her as a birthday gift the year she’d moved out of the house, but Sakura felt a familiar exhaustion settle over her.

_Is this going to be the rest of my life? Coming home from the diner every day, church and lunch with Mom and Dad on Sundays, partying with Ino when we get a few nights off. At the same old bar with everyone I went to high school with. Maybe I should’ve left when I could…_

She listlessly heated up a frozen dinner in the microwave, ate, and fell asleep in front of the television.

 

* * *

 

His limbs were stiff and cramped from the endless hours spent on a bus and then a few more standing along the road with his thumb in the air, but he couldn’t let himself rest. He kept a constant vigil out the window, as if Danzo and his shadowy band of followers were hiding somewhere in the pine trees. He’d been lucky so far with the hitchhiking. The bus had stopped in Seattle, but that was still too obvious. He needed to go deep. Somewhere no one would even think to look, let alone find him. The man he was with currently asked no questions, nor had he spoken a word aside from the initial “hop in,” and had spent the entire trip with his eyes fixed on the road, smoking one cigarette after another, which suited his passenger just fine.

He tried not to think about Karin or Suigetsu, and was glad that he’d ditched his phone in Chicago, because the urge to call one of them to make sure they were alright was almost overwhelming.

_I can’t ever go back. This is my new life now._

They passed a lonely sign on the road. Bedford Falls: Population 5,326. There was an arrow pointing off the highway to a single-lane road winding through the trees. Something tugged in his chest. If he’d been superstitious, he might’ve thought that important, but as it was his legs were aching fiercely and this place looked about as remote as you could get.

“Pull over here.”

The driver quirked an eyebrow but otherwise his facial expression didn’t change.

“Good luck kid,” he mumbled as his passenger disembarked the truck. He didn’t turn around, or otherwise acknowledge that he’d been spoken to.

Sasuke stood alone amongst the whispering pines, a satchel on his back and wad of bills folded neatly in his shoe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy I've sitting on this fic for about a year now. I don't know what's so fascinating about diner/retail AUs but I finally decided to write one of my own. Apologies for any historical blunders, but I promise I've at least tried to research in the name of accuracy. As always, thanks for RedBeardtheNotPirate for beta-reading. Updates will be every 1-2 weeks as I've already gotten a fair chunk written in between my other projects. Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> I choose not to use archive warnings in the name of suspense but if you have any questions/concerns about future content please don't hesitate to ask.


	2. Skin

“Are you sure about the color? I feel like I shouldn’t wear red- it’ll clash with my hair!”

“Puh-leeze. That dress looks amazing on you. Which is why I picked it out. Our mission for the night is ‘Get Sakura A Boyfriend,’ remember? Nobody’s gonna look at you if you keep wearing those plain little frocks.”

Sakura frowned at her reflection in the mirror as Ino rummaged around in her closet, looking for a suitable pair of shoes. The dress was indeed stunning; a racy little number with slits running up both sides all the way to her thighs, but it felt more like something Ino would wear. Her disappointingly flat chest didn’t quite fill out the front and Sakura knew she’d be fussing with the damn hem the entire night, pulling it down before the slits rode up and showed the entire world her underwear. Ino never seemed to have those problems, no matter how tiny her skirt.

“But don’t you think it’s too fancy for a house party?” She tried again.

Ino snorted and threw a pair of black heels over her shoulder. Sakura winced as they thudded against her bedroom wall.

“Trust me, you look gorgeous. Not my fault the people in this town don’t know how to dress.”

_Then why do you stay?_ Sakura wondered. _You belong somewhere fashionable and glamorous; New York, LA, anywhere but Bedford Falls._

“When you’re done pouting at yourself, can you help zip me up? I can’t quite reach.”

Sakura dutifully went over. She felt a small stab of resentment as her fingers brushed over Ino’s soft skin. No matter how much her friend might compliment her, all eyes would be on Ino tonight. The purple satin clung perfectly to all her curves and the grey eyeshadow she was wearing gave her a worldly, mysterious edge. Next to her, Sakura felt like a crumpled piece of tissue paper.

“All set? C’mon let’s get out of here!” Ino’s eye sparkled. “It’s been way too long since I’ve had a drink. And by the looks of it, you need one too.”

Sakura shrugged.

“Hey perk up girl! This is _our_ night.”

Ino grabbed her hand and pulled her out into the purpling evening. Swept along, Sakura couldn’t help but feel her heart leap. Ino was full of drama and excitement that, if nothing else, she could live through vicariously. Swept along by the intoxicating promise of boys and booze, Sakura allowed herself to be borne away into the night.

 

* * *

 

They stood outside Shikamaru’s house for a solid five minutes, shivering in their skimpy attire. All the while Sakura toyed with her handbag, trying not to think about how much her feet were going to hurt by the end of the evening.

“God where is he?” Ino tried to peer through the frosted glass pane above the knocker. Faint strains of music and laughter floated out from inside.

“Probably too lazy to get up to answer the door,” Sakura grumbled, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. “You know how he gets at work- leaving dirty pots out because it’s ‘too hard’ to put them in the sink, leaving the eggs unsalted so he doesn’t have to pull anything else down from the cupboards…”

As if on cue, Shikamaru’s spiky brown head appeared around the doorframe.

“Hey,” grunted, giving the girls a nod of acknowledgement. “Glad you could show.” His eyes lingered on Ino as he stood aside to let them pass. She returned his look with a coy smile that caused Sakura to elbow her none-too-gently in the ribs.

“Don’t forget about Kiba. Your BOYFRIEND,” she hissed in her ear.

Ino flapped a hand distractedly. “He’s probably here already. Relax and stop being such a worrywart. I’m going to go find us drinks!”

_This was a bad idea,_ Sakura groaned inwardly as she followed her friend through the cramped hallway and into a living room that would have been decently-sized if it hadn’t been packed full of people. Sure enough, Sakura knew each and every one of them, most from high school, a few older ones from the diner.

She turned to Ino, ready with a quip about how parties like these always turned into an awkward, unofficial reunion, when she was interrupted by a guy in a grubby button-down and a bowl cut.

_Speaking of awkward reunions…_

“Hello Sakura! You look ravishing tonight.” He held two cups in his hand, one of which he proffered to her, which made her wonder if he had been standing that way until she arrived.

“H-hey Lee,” she looked frantically around for an excuse to extricate herself, but Kiba had already found Ino, and was busy chatting her up with a group of his buddies, one arm wrapped around her slim waist. He was wearing that stupid leather jacket Sakura hated. The one he thought gave him a dangerous, James Dean vibe, but actually made him look like an extra from Grease.

_So much for your help._   

She cleared her throat and took a long swallow of her drink. She wrinkled her nose. It tasted like the cheapest beer you could get at the gas station. Leave it to Shikamaru to seek out the lowest common denominator.

“So… uh, how’ve you been?”

“Great!” Lee’s face split into a wide grin that made Sakura wish for the hundredth time that she could just put aside her distaste for his poorly groomed eyebrows and odd exercise habits and date the poor guy. He’d made it clear since the seventh grade that he’d treat her well and provide a stable home for a family, but the thought of even kissing him made her skin crawl.

“I’ve started this new aerobics regimen. I rise promptly at five-thirty every morning to stretch. Then, I bike over to the lake and-”

“Uh-huh that sounds nice,” Sakura mumbled. Kiba whispered something in Ino’s ear and she giggled seductively.

  _When am I ever going to find something like that?_

“What about you?”

“Huh?” Sakura snapped out of her musings.

“Well, what have you been doing? Last I heard you were going to go to nursing school in Seattle, but here you are!” He beamed expectantly.

Sakura drained her cup. “I’m going to get another drink,” she announced without preamble, pushing past Lee and into the kitchen where a group was clustered around the table playing some sort of drinking game/ poker hybrid. Naruto’s head snapped up from his cards, face slightly flushed with intoxication.

“Heyyyyyy you showed up after all!”

“We were… fashionably late,” Sakura sniffed. She spied a rather impressive collection of empty cans clustered around the sink, and rooted around for an open one. Beer wasn’t really her style, but she didn’t feel like hunting down Shikamaru to pry the location of his favorite wines out of him.

She plopped down hurriedly at the table before Lee could pester her about school. “Looks like I’ve got some catching up to do. How do I play?”

 

* * *

 

Time started to stretch and swirl languidly like warm caramel. Sakura lost track of the number of drinks she’d had, but it was enough to loosen both her limbs and her tongue. She found herself sprawled on the couch, her head brushing against Naruto’s knee, telling him bawdy stories about customers that wouldn’t even dream of leaving her lips were she sober.

“And then, this lady bends over to wipe it up, and her skirt just goes. All the way up. And I mean _all the way_ ,” she gestured with her hands to show him. “Like, full-on underwear in your face.”

“Aww gross,” Naruto giggled, mental twelve year old that he was.

“It wasn’t that bad,” she smirked. “At least she had nice legs or whatever.”

Naruto stiffened for a brief moment and Sakura wanted to kick herself for drinking so much. Why’d she always end up saying weird shit like that? Didn’t Drunk Sakura know that it was not polite conversation to mention the state of a female customers’ figure?

“Well uh, I should probably get going anyway.” She sat up with a jaw-cracking yawn and peered blearily around the room.

_Where the fuck is Ino?_

Last she’d seen her, she’d been squished in between Kiba and Shikamaru, laughing her head off while the two of them challenged each other to a chugging contest.

“Need any help?” Naruto held her elbow lightly as she swayed a bit. Sakura shook him off.

“M’fine!” She said cheerfully, giving him a sloppy wave. “I’ll see you at work.”

_Where could she be?_

She’d have seen Ino if she’d been in the living room with them, and while she’d been distracted with her storytelling, she was pretty sure she’d have noticed if her best friend had walked right past to get into the kitchen. Still she gave both rooms a thorough search. Her heart sank when she saw Kiba standing at the edge of the crowd, looking puzzled.

 “Shit, I figured she’d be with you,” he scowled as she approached.

“Yeah well, the feeling’s mutual,” Sakura snapped. “When was the last time you saw her?”

“Like, twenty minutes ago! She said she was going to the bathroom and then…poof! I thought she might be sick or somethin’ but I just checked and it’s empty.” Kiba’s eyes were slightly glassy, and she couldn’t imagine Ino was in much better condition.

“Hmm I didn’t see her leave, and there aren’t any other rooms left in the apartment.”

_Except…_

Sakura swore under her breath and turned on her heel without another word. Unfortunately, Kiba wasn’t quite drunk enough to just stay put and stumbled after her, despite her attempts to shake him.

_Oh fuck, oh fuck. Ino please tell me you didn't-_

“Where’re we goin’?”

“I um, just remembered I left my clutch on the sink in the bathroom.” Sakura was surprised at the ease the lie came to her fuzzy brain.

“Oh. What about Ino?”

“She’ll turn up.”

Her heart was pounding. There was only one place left. Shikamaru’s bedroom was next to the bathroom. The door was closed. Sakura didn’t have much time left. Kiba was sloshed, but he wasn’t stupid.

She craned her neck around to face him.

“Look why don’t you-” She was about to suggest he head back to the kitchen to grab another beer, when she saw his mouth fall open in a silent shout of surprised. His eyes widened, as if they simply weren’t large enough to comprehend the situation. Sakura heard the sound of a door banging open behind her, followed by Ino’s seductive little giggle.

_I tried, I really did._

She didn’t want to look, but she knew she had to act fast before Kiba recovered from the shock. At least both she and Shikamaru were fully clothed, if a bit rumpled. Sakura snatched her friend’s hand and yanked her roughly down the hall, away from Kiba and towards the exit.

“We’re leaving.”

“C’monn I was havin’ such a good tiiiiime,” Ino whined, tugging at the hem of her dress.

Sakura simply fixed Shikamaru with her most poisonous glare as she continued to manhandle Ino to the front door. He shrugged uncomfortably, leaning against the wall for support. Kiba’s face was starting to twitch into a snarl. Definitely time to leave.

“We didn’t even have sex!” Ino called out to her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, as if that would smooth the situation over. Sakura bit back a scream of frustration as they hustled out into the cold.

 

* * *

 

“What… the hell… were you…thinking,” Sakura grunted as she bent down to hike Ino a little further up her shoulder. Her friend muttered something unintelligible and flopped her head against the crook of Sakura’s neck.

“Excuse me?”

“I said m’sorry. This was supposed to be for you, an’ I made it all about me an’ I fucked up so bad an’ I’m horrible…”

Sakura rolled her eyes at the rambling. “Maybe next time try thinking without your clit.” The last vestiges of alcohol were being driven from her by the cold and adrenaline, but not enough to keep her mouth in check. She felt bold, powerful. She was the responsible one here. She’d take care of everything.

Ino snickered, “Think with your clit… heh, I like that. You with your fancy medical terminology. Are you going to nurse me back to health now?”

“I’m going to drop you in the goddamn gutter, that’s what. Now hurry up, we’ve gotta pass the motel. You know there’s always creeps around this time of night.” In fact, she could see someone leaning against the neon sign post. The harsh light distorted his features so she couldn’t quite make him out and his hair eyes and clothing were all dark, but he looked young. Refined. Not the typical customer of a Motel 66, though then again she was pretty sure that was where Naruto was staying.

By the time she’d got done with her musing and tried to get a better look, he was gone. Only a curl of smoke drifting up from an abandoned cigarette proved that he’d even existed at all.

 

* * *

 

Sakura opened the door to her apartment with some difficulty and bodily heaved Ino over the threshold. She swayed, giggling, cheek pressed against the floral wallpaper.

“Okay Madame Adultery, time for bed.”

“I wan’ pajamas,” Ino protested as she fumbled her way through the living room, nearly tripping over an end table in the process.

“Steady there.” She maneuvered her friend over to the recliner. “Let me see what I can find…” Sakura scratched the back of her head. Why had she put off washing her clothes for so long? The Laundromat was just down the street and she usually had plenty of quarters from tips. Right. Because _today_ was supposed to be laundry day, but she’d spend it primping in front of the mirror. What was ultimately wasted time.

“Yaaaay Sleepover!”

Despite her frustration, Sakura couldn’t help but smile as Ino picked up a cushion and flung it at her head. They hadn’t had one of those since they were probably thirteen or fourteen. Usually at Ino’s house since her parents let her stay up late and watch scary movies on television.

“Does that mean you’re going to braid my hair while we take the ‘Who’s Your Celebrity Crush’ quiz? Sorry, I don’t subscribe to Tiger Beat anymore,” she said, deftly catching the projectile. 

“Ya, c’mere,” Ino patted the seat next to here. “Bring popcorn.”

Sakura shook her head. “Do you realize what time it is?”

“Do you realize how bad I fucked up?” Her voice caught in her throat, and suddenly Ino was on the verge of tears. “Everybody already thinks I’m a huge slut- don’t deny it, I’ve heard them talk,” she glared when Sakura opened her mouth to protest. “A-and by tomorrow the whole town’ll know that I’m a two-timing bitch, and none of the guys’ll ever wanna touch me and-” she started to sob.

Sakura’s heart twisted painfully in her chest. She ducked into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water, tissues, and a hairbrush.

“Hey, hey, it’s going to be alright,” she murmured to the sloppy mess curled up in her living room. “It’ll all blow over eventually,” she lied, hoping Ino was still too drunk to realize exactly how much gossip fodder the party would create in a town where new street signs was big news.

“You think so?” Ino sniffled and sat up. “D’you think Shikamaru’ll still want to go out with me?”

_Sheesh you’re still harping on that?_

“He doesn’t seem to care very much about what other people think,” Sakura said neutrally as she gently teased a knot out of Ino’s long, blonde hair.

“True,” she sighed. “That what makes him so cool, y’know? Everyone in Bedford Falls cares so much about _appearances_ , but he’s like… whatever.”

“You’re one to talk about vanity.”

“Hey! We’re s’posed to be having Girl Talk, remember? As a friend, you need to support me.” Ino tried for a regal shake of her head, but in her intoxicates state it was more like a flop.

“I didn’t realize how much you liked him,” Sakura admitted grudgingly. She began dividing the hair into three equal sections.

“What about you?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“The party? Boys? See anything you like? I noticed you an Naruto gettin’ pretty comfy together.” Ino hissed as Sakura yanked a bit harder than she intended.

“I told you, I don’t want to date him. I dunno, maybe there’s nobody here who catches my interest,” Sakura yawned. She knew she should be steering Ino into the bathroom to brush her teeth so they could actually get to bed before the sun rose, but the two of them rarely got to sit and talk so frankly these days with their busy work schedules. It was so relaxing just to sit and run her hands through her best friend’s hair, the familiar over-under motion of the braid…

“Mmm lookit you all sophisticated. You coulda found somebody in Seattle, I bet. Why’d you stick around here anyway?”

Sakura didn’t have an answer for her, so she kept braiding in silence until Ino started emitting soft snores. She eased her friend into lying down and pulled a blanked over her before creeping quietly off to bed with a vague sense of loneliness that she couldn’t put her finger on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #galpals 
> 
> Beta'd by RedBeardtheNotPirate


	3. This Bed I Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently deleted a comment on the last chapter because it was vile and hateful. If you, the reader have a legitimate, constructive criticism of my work please feel free to comment (hint, if the comment contains the phrase “Kill yourself” if it is not constructive). However, I will not respond to trolling or overall dickishness of any kind. I don’t think it’s cute.   
> Thank you.  
> To the overwhelming majority of my audience who possess basic human decency, enjoy <3

Sasuke peered out from behind the curtain of his room at the Motel 66. Nothing. A whole week and not a peep on any of the local radio stations or the TV news. He was still hesitant to breathe a sigh of relief though. Danzo was persistent. And dangerous. Sasuke had no doubt the man could keep an investigation like this quiet.

Frustrated, he turned back inside. Unwashed clothes and wrappers littered the floor. He’d been eating nothing but gas station sandwiches that tasted like cardboard, but it was the only place that was within walking distance that was open at three in the morning, when he was least likely to run into anyone.

So far he’d been pretty lucky. Other than the gas station attendant and the motel owner who’d taken his request for a week-long stay, paid up-front with cash and no questions asked, he was pretty sure the only other person who’d seen him had been that guy he’d tripped over in the hallway one night. He’d been so high, Sasuke doubted he would’ve remembered his own name.

_You’re being paranoid._ He could practically hear Karin’s condescending voice in his head. Suigetsu would probably think it was funny, him running scared and hiding in such a filthy place. What had happened to them? Were they even still alive?

 Conspicuous moaning filtered in from the room next door. Sasuke glanced at the clock. Four in the afternoon.

_I need a plan._

Up until now his plan had been “lay low until this all blows over,” but money was fast running out, and if he had to eat another ham sandwich for dinner, he was going to be sick. Sitting inside with nothing to do but create different scenarios of what could happen was starting to make him jump at his own shadow.  

_I could use the pay phone at the front desk to call Itachi…_ But he nixed the idea as soon as it popped into his head. The humiliation of his older brother finding out what he’d gotten mixed up in was just too much. He’d rather go back home with a giant target sign painted on his back for Danzo.

Sasuke bit the skin on the pad of his thumb. Bedford Falls _was_ pretty isolated. News of a big East Coast drug war would seem like a fairy tale to these people in their quiet little hamlet. And since he had no ties to this place whatsoever, had told no one where he was going, and had paid in cash the entire way, it was unlikely that Danzo would have any leads.

The couple next door picked up the pace, causing the wall to shake slightly. Sasuke shook his head in disgust and grabbed his coat. It was time he got a job.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke walked along the main drag with his hands stuffed in his pockets. All the shops were kitschy, family-run tourist places aside from a few scattered fast food restaurants that made their employees wear silly hats. With his slim frame and inexperience with manual labor, the lumber mill was out of the question, and the boy at the video store smugly informed him that they weren’t hiring.

His stomach growled and he was dying for a cigarette, but he’d chain-smoked his last pack out of boredom several days ago. By the time he’d reached the edge of town, he was cold and frustrated as well.

_Maybe I should just hitchhike over to the next town, see if there’s any work there._

Sasuke was seriously considering returning to the motel and packing up, when he caught sight of a building just before the turn-off to the interstate. “The Double R Diner,” a large signpost in the parking lot proclaimed, below that, spelled out in block letters were the day’s specials and the magic words “Now Hiring.” 

_Worth a shot._

Up close, the diner was clean, if not showing some minor signs of neglect; a spot of rust here, cracked paint there. Overall it seemed to be doing alright, if the number of cars in the lot was any indication. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

A little bell tinkled overhead to announce his arrival, a sound largely lost amongst the clatter of plates and forks. His eyes roved over the place; typical outdated fifties-era furnishings with lots of chrome highlights, a long counter with stools and a cash register right in front of the kitchen where a large harried-looking man waved a frying pan, and some green vinyl booths along the walls. Music squawked from a jukebox in the corner.

“Table for one?” A waitress in a white smock appeared over his shoulder, interrupting his observations. She was clutching a precariously-balanced tray, and from the strained tone of her voice she wasn’t in the mood to seat anyone else.

“No, I’m here about the job,” he turned around, jabbing his thumb at the sign in the window. When she saw his face, the waitress nearly dropped her tray, and flushed almost as pink as her hair. For a heart-stopping moment he wondered if she recognized him somehow, but the woman quickly recovered.

“Oh, um right this way. You’ll want to speak to Kakashi, the manager. He’s right through that door there,” she gestured towards the back of the diner with her free hand. “Nice to meet you, Mr….?”

But Sasuke was already headed in the direction he’d been pointed, ignoring both her question and the hand held out for him to shake.

The “Manager’s Office” was little more than a storage closet with a desk wedged in between shelves of cleaning supplies and extra toilet paper rolls. A white-haired man was leaned back in his chair with his feet on the desk, flipping through some sort of magazine. When Sasuke entered, his eyes flicked up with mild interest before returning right back to the page. On closer examination, he was much younger than he first appeared. Late thirties, early forties, perhaps.

“So you’re here about the job.” The man said flatly without bothering to look up.

“Yes.” There wasn’t anywhere to sit, so Sasuke remained standing by the door, one hand on the handle.

“You got a name?”

“Sasuke,” He blurted out, cursing himself for not having the forethought to create an alternate identity.

“Have you ever worked in food service, Sasuke?”

“No.”

“When can you work- days? Evenings? Weekends?” The man’s face remained buried in the magazine that, Sasuke realized with dawning horror, wasn’t just _any_ magazine, but a full-on erotic spread.

“Any time.”

“What about today?”

“I guess-”

“Good, you’re hired. Welcome to the Double R.”

“Wha-”

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, kid,” he drawled and finally set his reading material down on the desk. Sasuke did his best to keep his face totally neutral. The man was wearing a black eyepatch like a goddamn pirate. It would have been comical, but he could see a nasty, ropy burn scar peeking out around the material. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what was underneath.

“We don’t get many newcomers around here, and the locals can be pretty testy if you’re not one of their own. Plus, we just had someone leave short notice, and if you haven’t realized, we’re swamped out there. You’ll be bussing tables and the pay’s $3.35 an hour plus tips, sound fair?”

Sasuke did some quick mental math and figured he should be able to survive on that. He nodded.

“Excellent.” The man clapped his hands together. “I know I’m supposed to get social security numbers and all that, but it seems like such a waste of time. What say you we don’t worry about all that and keep this strictly under the table?” His tone remained light, as if he were discussing the weather, but there was a sharp undertone to it that gave Sasuke a chill.

_Maybe it’s a scam, but if there’s no official record of my employment it’ll be even harder for Danzo to track me._

He hesitated only a moment before nodding again.

“In that case, let’s get you introduced to the staff. I’m Kakashi, by the way.” He stood, cracked his back and waved Sasuke out the door. As they threaded through the restaurant, Sasuke couldn’t help but notice the man’s lithe, nimble movements that conflicted with his slouchy posture. Though he gave off an air of carelessness, even that was carefully studied.   

“Sakura!” He called, and the pink-haired waitress poked her head out from behind the coffee maker. “I’ve got us a new busser. Name of Sasuke.”

“How do you do?” She asked a shade cooler than before, though her hands reflexively started rubbing her elbows.

“Hnn.”

“Well, she’ll tell you what to do. Welcome aboard. Don’t make me regret it,” Kakashi said cheerfully and vanished, presumably back to his office to… Sasuke suppressed a shudder. He didn’t want to think about that.

“So, where’re you from?” Sakura coughed nervously. “Did you just move into town?”

“Yeah.” His eyes roved over the workstation. A beat-up cash register crouched on the counter next to the coffee pot. The kitchen was further back, separated by a low stainless steel divider with a shelf for the cooks to put the hot plates when the orders came up. Underneath housed extra plates, silverware, and trays.

“Umm alright. I should show you around, I guess. Introduce you to all the coworkers. I-if you need anything don’t hesitate to ask, even if I’m busy. I know it can be hard just starting out-”

“I’ll be fine.” _How hard can setting places and washing dishes be? I was practically running Orochimaru’s whole operation in the last few months. As if I can’t handle some podunk diner._

Sakura ground her teeth together, but the smile plastered on her face didn’t budge an inch. “Great! Oi Naruto, c’mere.”

She snagged a boy attempting to skirt around them by the back of his t-shirt. He let out a little yelp and made a half- hearted effort to escape. Sakura pinched his ear and yanked his head around to face them.

“Meet Sasuke. He’s the new busser so it’s going to be up to you to teach him how we do things around here.”

The boy had a wide, honest face and sloppy grin that Sasuke instantly found irritating. He looked like the type he’d sold to often on campus- dopey soon-to-be-dropouts fucking around trying to get an art or communications degree. The type who’d put them in jeopardy by lighting up in the park in broad daylight, or hosting massive parties in their cell of a dorm room.

“Aww how come I gotta train him? I’ve only been working here three months!” He pouted, then hissed as Sakura tightened her grip on his earlobe.

“If you haven’t noticed, you’ve been the ONLY busser since Kiba left for greener pastures at the Home Video,” she snapped. “Now get moving, the dinner rush is about to start.” She thrust a tray into his hands.

“Well, what’re you waiting for?” Naruto elbowed Sasuke in the ribs. He instantly recoiled at the familiarity. “Aprons are on a peg in the kitchen. Let’s get going before Sakura gets scary!”

 

* * *

 

By closing time Sasuke had broken four dishes, spilled coffee on himself twice, and insulted a lady who _insisted_ the last time she’d visited three or four summers ago, there had been fresh salmon on the menu. She wouldn’t stop asking for it despite the fact that nobody in recent memory could recall such a dish being served.

“Fucking ridiculous,” he seethed as she left with a self-righteous slam of the door. _Don’t let it hit you in the ass on your way out._

Sadly she wasn’t even the worst part about the job. Yeah, the customers were annoying, the tips were shit, the place was so full of grease he probably smelled more like a hamburger than anything else, and the blonde waitress kept making sultry faces at him, but none of that could compare to-

“You’ve never actually worked at a restaurant before have you?”

Naruto. Fucking in-your-face, cocky, energetic, positive little bastard. He took the whole “training” thing way too seriously, never letting him out of sight and doling out unwanted advice like a second head.

“No,” Sasuke snapped. “But it’s not like it’s complicated,” he added scathingly. “You don’t go to school to work in a place like this. I don’t need babysitting.”

Naruto set down the tray of dirty dishes he was holding with a loud clatter. “Oh yeah? Well the lady who just walked out the door is gonna badmouth this place and tell everyone back home that the staff is rude.”

“So?”

“So we lose business!” He took a step forward, once again entering Sasuke’s personal space. He could even see a piece of spinach or something stuck in his teeth.

“Yanno, I had you pegged the moment you walked in here: hot-shot college kid who doesn’t give a crap about anyone other than himself. He doesn’t halfta worry about paying bills because Mommy and Daddy will-”

“Shut up.” Sasuke clenched his fists behind his back to prevent himself from taking a swing. “One, you don’t know a damn thing about me. Two, you talk a pretty big game for a small-town loser stuck working minimum-wage jobs his whole life. Let me guess, you never did quite manage to get your GED?”

In the silence that fell over the diner, Sasuke contemplated that maybe their little spat could’ve waited until the end of shift. He felt curious eyes on the back of his neck. The pink-haired girl (Samantha?) was struggling to keep a straight face at the register. 

_Shit we’re making a scene._    

That was all he had time to think before Naruto’s fist connected with his jaw.

“IF YOU DON’T WANNA WORK HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHY DON’T YOU GET THE HELL OUT AND MAKE EVERYONE’S LIVES EASIER. NOBODY’S ASKING YOU TO BE HERE, BASTARD.”

“Technically I did when I hired him to work for me.”

Kakashi held Naruto’s arm pinned behind his head, the other clamped down at this side. From the way the kid was wriggling, his grip was brutally tight.  

_Where did he come from? I didn’t hear anyone coming up behind us. Hasn’t he been in the office this whole time?_

“Sasuke, I think it would be best if we called an end to your first shift. No hard feelings, but tempers are running high and while some people say that any publicity is good publicity, I’d rather not have a story in the newspaper tomorrow morning about a fistfight breaking out among my staff.” He smiled in a slow, pointed way that made Sasuke break out in a cold sweat.

“You go take a smoke break or something. Come back when you’ve got a hold of yourself.” He thrust Naruto back towards the counter. He shot Sasuke one last dirty look before he disappeared into the kitchen, presumably to go sulk in the back by the dumpster.

Sasuke grabbed the strings at the back of his apron and clawed them out of their knot so he could pull the damned thing off.

_Fired on my first day out._ Not that he cared about this sad excuse for a job, but he couldn’t help but picture his parents’ glowing faces when Itachi announced he’d gotten into West Point. At age sixteen, no less.

“Here,” he shoved the rolled up ball of cloth at Kakashi. “Sorry for wasting your time.”

“Quitting already?”

“But-”

Kakashi heaved a world-weary sigh. “Having troublesome staff is better than having no staff at all. I want to see you in my office bright and early tomorrow morning _with an attitude adjustment_.”

He nodded dumbly. After a minute he became aware that the customers had all gone back to their meals. Business as usual.

“Err yeah. Fine.” Sasuke turned on his heel and left the diner with any remaining dignity he could muster. He didn’t see Kakashi’s lone eye following him down the road, an unreadable expression on his already shuttered face.


	4. Daydream Believer

_Rain was falling gently on the roof as she sat curled cat-like on the couch, reading something classic and sophisticated. The Great Gatsby perhaps, or some Shakespeare. Not Romeo and Juliet though, that would be too cliché. A knock at the door. She glanced at the clock. It was awfully late for anyone to be out and about, especially in this weather._

_Another knock. She swept a blanket around her shoulders, though it framed her body gracefully like a fur cape instead of the raggedy silhouette she usually got. And lo and behold, he was standing on her doorstep, wet and bedraggled. He looked at her with those stormy grey eyes, silently begging for help. She would let him in, get him warm and dry and then maybe-_

“Earth to Sakura! Where are you this morning?” Ino leaned across the counter to flick her in the forehead. “Or should I ask who are you WITH?” She cut her eyes in the direction of Kakashi’s office, where Sasuke had disappeared not ten minutes prior.

“Shut up!” Sakura hissed as she rubbed at the spot and hoped it wouldn’t get red and look like a zit. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she muttered but it was too late.

Ino put down the napkins she’d been folding in order to fully commit to her friend’s humiliation.

“Oh really? You weren’t cooking up a steamy love story in that giant forehead of yours? Could it be I was just _imagining_ that you’ve been looking at him like a dog looks at a nice, juicy steak?”

“That’s an exaggeration!” Sakura snapped as she desperately tried to calm her burning cheeks. 

“Honestly, he’s sooo your type; brooding, mysterious, and emotionally stunted. Not to mention way out of your league.”

Ino shrieked as Sakura sent a dish towel whipping out at her exposed collarbone. At that same moment, the door to Kakashi’s office swung open and the man in question slouched out. They immediately attempted positions of nonchalance- Sakura leaning one elbow on the counter while wiping it down with the offending towel and Ino fiddling with her apron strings. Both were choking back laughter, but Sasuke didn’t give them a second glance as he picked up a tray.

“What do I need to do?” He huffed.

Sakura schooled her fluttering heart. His voice was so deep and smooth, like Derrik Ryder’s on Season of Love. The one with the motorcycle who’d killed his sister’s stalker Paul when they were teenagers and had been forced to keep it secret his entire life, but now that his girlfriend was pregnant with twins and her powerful father (who of course disproved of their relationship) was out to get him…

She inwardly cursed Ino for being right as usual when it came to guys.

_Why the cliché bad boy? You’re smarter than this Sakura!_

She became slowly aware that Sasuke was still waiting for a response, one eyebrow quirked up in an exquisite picture of skepticism.

_Crap he’s probably thinking “what’s this slow country girl doing, standing there like a bump on a log?" Quick do something before he loses interest um-_

“You can start by wiping everything down, cutie! The morning rush’ll start any minute and we can’t have people eating off sticky tables now can we?” Ino chimed in with a saccharine sing-song. Sakura wanted to puke; half in awe of her boldness, half disgusted by it.

Sasuke snatched the dish towel off the counter and stalked over to the nearest booth. Flustered, Sakura followed.

“Um, also just keep an eye out and make sure each table has silverware and condiments set. And that there’s enough napkins?”

“Fine.”

“Don’t mind Ino too much. She can be pretty, err forward, but everyone here’s nice! Even Naruto-”

Sasuke snorted and rolled his eyes, but refrained from speaking. He began scrubbing down the Formica surface with unusual fervor.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it. If you ever want to share a lunch break, I usually take mine around one…” Sakura trailed off with a nervous giggle.

“Cool.” He didn’t even bother to look up from his task.

_Asshole,_ she thought venomously, but at the same time it felt like her heart was taking up too much space in her chest, making it difficult for her lungs to do their job.

 

* * *

 

Sunday teatime had been a tradition in the Haruno household ever since Sakura had moved out. It was an event she anticipated and dreaded in equal measure, depending on how put together her life was on the given afternoon.  Today she had managed to lose her blow-dryer in the vast ocean of clutter that surrounded her bathroom sink so her hair was depressingly limp. Not to mention the fact that she was late because she’d misplaced her keys, and had a new bruise on her shin from bumping into the coffee table.

“Honey! It’s so good to see you,” her mother ushered her inside. The décor hadn’t changed since her childhood; some of her old stuffed animals peeked out from the bookcase, a portrait she’d painted of her father in eighth grade still hung above the mantle. It was like stepping back into a time capsule of her own awkwardness and embarrassment.

“How’s work been? Kakashi treating you girls all right? He’s a suspicious character that one. I’ve always said-”

Sakura listened half-heartedly as her mother led her back to the kitchen, past her father ensconced in his customary armchair. He gave a friendly wave before returning to his newspaper.

Once they were settled in with steaming cups of Earl Grey and a little plate of store-bought cookies, Sakura’s mother turned to another one of her favorite subjects: marriage.

“Betty McGuire’s daughter just got engaged to that boy who works at the corner store. Jerry?”

“That’s nice.” The kitchen curtains were new. They were a pink and white rose pattern Sakura thought was hideous.

“The wedding’s going to be in May, when all the flowers are going to be blooming…”

Sakura stared into the depths of her tea. Her reflection wobbled as she placed the cup down without taking a sip.

“Is there something you want from me, mother?”

“Oh, I just thought that since you weren’t going to go back to school and all-”

“That’s not for sure!” Sakura butted in. “Maybe next year’ll be a better time.” _By then I’ll be ready to leave for good._

Her mother took her hand and squeezed it gently. “I know things have been difficult for you lately. Your father and I don’t want to pressure you one way or another- there’s nothing wrong with waitressing after all. It’s a perfectly acceptable way for a young girl like you to make a living. But we also think you should… get out a bit more. Start to notice what the young men around here have to offer. It’s healthy.”

_Here we go again._

“Thanks. I’m glad you’re looking out for me.” Sakura fixed a bland smile on her lips and nibbled on a cookie.

_What would happen if I brought Sasuke home? Would he be rude to them, or is it all just an act he puts on because he’s secretly vulnerable? Would Mom and Dad approve? He’s handsome, but more in a pretty-boy way. At least they’d have something different to harp on if they didn’t like him…_

Pacified for the time being, her mother launched into a detailed description of the upcoming church raffle. Sakura made sure to nod sympathetically and cluck her tongue at the right moments, but her thoughts were far from the conversation.

_Every week we meet up and you point out what’s wrong with my life._

“What’s wrong, dear? You’ve been so quiet.”

“Nothing. It’s just been a long day.”

 

* * *

 

“What am I supposed to doooo?” Sakura whined into the phone. She was leaning over her kitchen counter. Since the cord wasn’t long enough to stretch to the couch, this was the closest she could get to throwing herself down dramatically.

Ino laughed on the other end. “Well you could try talking to the guy. That’s usually a good first step.”

“I’ve tried!” She felt her cheeks redden. “I-it’s just his eyes are so- and he has that bored look all the time, I can’t tell- what if-”

“Sakura. You need to stop over-thinking this.”

_Easy for you to say._

“What you should do is invite him out with the whole gang. That way you won’t be coming on too strong- if he’s not interested you’ll just come off as friendly since he’s new in town and probably doesn’t know anyone yadda yadda.”

Sakura stood up so fast she slammed her head into an overhanging cabinet.

“Ow! Jesus fuck- Ino, you’re brilliant!”

“Well you don’t go on as many dates as I do without learning a few tricks.”

“And so modest too…”

Ino blew a raspberry into the phone. “You know you love it. Anyway, I’ll ask Shikamaru to round up some people. What do you think about a hiking trip? We could take him up to the falls. It’s really pretty this time of year with the leaves changing color. And if we go during the week it shouldn’t be too crowded.”

“Perfect…” Sakura breathed.

“You two might be able to wander off from the group and share some _quality time_ together.”

“Don’t ruin the moment.”

“You’re welcome!” Ino crowed. “Shikamaru’s coming over, so I’ll talk to you at work tomorrow. Don’t fuck it up.”

Sakura replaced the phone on its cradle with a sigh. She averted her eyes from the dirty dishes clogging the sink. If she didn’t look at them, she could pretend they weren’t there. The floor needed sweeping too, and her elbows were sticky from where they’d been resting on the counter.

Suddenly Sakura felt very tired.

_I’m still relying on Ino for everything._ From chasing down bullies on the playground in first grade, to showing her how to put on makeup in middle school, to answering all the questions about sex she was too embarrassed to ask, Ino had been both her guardian and worldly older sister. Meanwhile it had been Sakura’s job to clean up Ino’s messes, to be the voice of reason and safety when her friend’s wild impulses got the better of her. They came as a pair and the whole school had known it.

_Without her I wouldn’t have been as popular, wouldn’t have gotten the job at the diner, wouldn’t now be contemplating asking out the hottest guy I’ve ever met. Why can’t I do this sort of thing for myself? Why do I always need her to look after me?_

Sakura aimed a resentful kick at the trashcan. She overestimated her own strength and sent a week’s worth of garbage spilling across the linoleum.

_Maybe if it wasn’t for her I’d still be in Seattle._

A drink. That’s what the situation called for. Sakura fished a half-empty Riesling from the back of the fridge, leftover from the last time she and Ino had a Ladies Night.

_I’m even drinking her fucking wine._

Sakura drank until the prospect of scrubbing her kitchen floor actually seemed like a lot of fun. She attacked the mess with rubber-gloved hands, dish detergent, and a new sponge. After the immediate trash was picked up, she moved on to the counters, then the sink. Not even the cabinets or light fixtures were safe from her soapy wrath.

Halfway through vacuuming the living room, she decided she was tired and went straight to bed without changing her clothes or unplugging the machine.

 

* * *

 

Sakura straggled into work the next day with a raging hangover and a red crease on her cheek where she’d pressed it against a wrinkle in her sheets.

_Ah yes, looking sexy and put-together for my one chance to impress Sasuke. It’s over._

“Shikamaruuuu make me an omlette. A really greasy one. With toast.” She rested her throbbing head on the counter.

 “Are you serious? I still have all my prep work to do. We’re opening in half an hour. It’s hard enough-”

Sakura fixed him with a bloodshot glare.

“I you don’t, I’ll tell Ino I saw you buying porn in the backroom of the video store. And that you and Kiba were laughing about something, but I couldn’t quite overhear…”

“But I-I never-” Shikamaru spluttered as he held his spatula aloft.

“Who do you think she’d believe?”

“Man, you’re a real pain in the ass,” he grumbled, but turned back to the stove and started heating up a frying pan. “Why are women always so demanding?”

Sakura rolled her eyes and let him continue his muttered tirade while she checked to make sure the coffee pots were clean.

A few minutes later she was happily munching on a fluffy plate of eggs with green peppers and onions sprinkled in just the way she liked it.

“Thanks Shikamaru! I owe you one.”

“You can clean the pan,” he snarked back, but he was smiling. “Ino tells me we’re inviting Pretty Boy out to the falls this weekend.  I honestly don’t get what you girls see in him. He just seems like a grade-A asshole to me.”

Sakura toyed with her fork. “I think we need to give him a chance,” she said simply.

Shikamaru snorted. “Whatever. Though it looks like he’s coming in now, so if you’re gonna make your move I guess now’s the time to do it.”

She nearly choked on a mouthful of toast.

_Stay calm Sakura, be cool. It’s just a casual hangout. With friends. We’re going to have a nice little trip together. No pressure._

With some careful sips of water she managed to get the offending bite down without coughing everywhere. By that time Sasuke had made his entrance. He was looking over the menu with an expression of disinterest that seemed permanently affixed to his face.

Sakura sidled up to him and brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face.

“H-hey Sasuke.” _Shit stop stuttering. Confidence!_

“Hnn?”

“I was just wondering if, um well a bunch of us from the restaurant are going on a hike to the falls and since you’re new in town and all maybeyou’dliketocomewithus?” _Real smooth._

“Sure.”

“What?” Sakura couldn’t believe her ears. Was her hangover really that bad that it had affected her hearing?

“I said SURE.” Sasuke’s face remained as impassive as ever.

“That’s great!” The sun was shining, the birds were singing in obnoxious Disney fashion- God had truly smiled down upon her today. Sakura hummed to herself as she helped Shikamaru with the last of the prep work in the kitchen.

_Finally things are going my way for once._


	5. Summer Skeletons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I somehow managed to upload the same chapter twice. THIS is the real Chapter 5 (and thank you to Jean Lover for bringing that to my attention). 
> 
> Minor homophobic language in this chapter.

_This was a bad idea._

Sasuke surveyed the semi-circle of people lounging about in the Double R’s parking lot. There was the lazy guy from the kitchen and his fat sidekick, the blonde waitress who wore too much makeup, a kid in a tracksuit doing jumping jacks, a dark-haired girl, and Sakura.

He silently berated himself for taking her up on the offer to go hiking.

_Getting comfortable is going to get you killed. The less these people know about you the better. You aren’t here to make friends, you’re here to stay alive._

But truth be told, he was deathly bored of sitting in his hotel room night after night. It was getting bad enough that he almost missed Suigetsu dragging him out to parties at odd hours or even Karin wrapping her arms around his neck. One afternoon of socialization wouldn’t hurt, right?

“You must be Sasuke!” The kid in the tracksuit exclaimed as soon as he came within hearing distance. “My name is Rock Lee. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance!”

Sasuke found his hand wrapped in a bone-crushing handshake. He fought the urge to wipe it off on the seat of his pants. This Lee guy had sweaty palms.  

He saw the blonde girl jab Sakura in the gut with her elbow, which prompted her to wave at him, wincing slightly.

“Glad you could make it!” Blondie called. “The view up there at the top of the falls is _fantastic_ ,” her voice was dripping with hidden meaning that Sasuke didn’t care to explore.

Sakura hissed something back in warning. “Don’t mind her,” she turned a cheery smile to him. “So you’ve already had the pleasure of meeting Lee,” the corners of her mouth quirked up but her voice betrayed no hint of sarcasm.

“Ino and Shikamaru you’ve already met at the diner.” _Right. Those are their names._ “Chouji only works part-time,” she was pointing at the chubby guy who looked up from his bag of chips to nod, “and Hinata’s a friend of ours from high school.” Sasuke had completely forgotten about the dark-haired girl. She melted into the background like a chameleon.

“That’s everyone, right?” She asked Shikamaru. “I was hoping to get up there around lunchtime so we could have a picnic.”

“Actually we’re waiting on one more.” He had a nasty grin on his face.  

“Heyyyy guys! Great day for a hike innit?”

Sasuke felt his spine stiffen at the sound of that cigarette-drenched voice.

_You’ve gotta be shitting me._

He wondered if he could possibly think of an excuse in the next ten seconds that would relieve him from this impending disaster of an afternoon.

Too late. Naruto caught sight of him and his sunny expression darkened like the sky before a tornado.

“Wait, what the hell is HE doing here?”

A tense, awkward silence. Sasuke was about to announce that he’d be more than happy to stay home, when Sakura cut in.

“Don’t be rude! He’s new in town so we should show him a good time. We did the same with you, remember?”

Naruto’s mouth flapped open and closed like a fish. Unable to think of a proper retort, he settled for glaring at Sasuke while edging his way around to stand possessively next to Sakura.

“Well that’s that,” Shikamaru stretched and cracked his neck. “Ino and Chouji are riding with me. We can fit one more. The rest of you can ride with Hinata.”

“Naruto, why don’t you-” Sakura began.

“I’m stickin’ with you! The woods around here aren’t always safe.” He squinted his eyes at Sasuke behind her back.

_Loser probably thinks he’s being subtle._

Ino stifled a snort. “Oh for crying out loud, Lee come with us. Otherwise we’ll never get out of the parking lot.”

Bowl Cut, who had been edging his way ever so hopefully towards Sakura, scuttled over to the junky brown Matador Shikamaru was leaning against. He cast one last dejected look over his shoulder before squeezing in next to Chouji.

Hinata showed the rest of them over to a silver sedan that was, admittedly, much cleaner and in better repair than Shikamaru’s monstrosity. Sakura climbed into the back with Naruto promptly following her. Sasuke caught her frown fleetingly in the rearview mirror as he slid into the passenger’s seat.

 

* * *

 

_At least the scenery’s nice._

Brilliant, fiery shades of red, orange, and gold exploded from the treetops that lined a worn-dirt hiking trail. After half an hour of Sakura attempting to make small talk and Naruto kicking the back of his seat like an antsy two year-old, he was eager to stretch his legs.

The air was even crisper here than it was in town. It reminded Sasuke of fuzzy childhood visits to his grandparent’s ranch in the Midwest. A few days a year away from the chaos of the city; running around outside with a border collie named Buster, Itachi showing him how to catch fireflies…

He shook his head. Those days were long gone. Besides, those trips hadn’t been all fun and games, what with his grandfather drilling him on outdated military tactics and weaponry, making him run laps around the house if answered incorrectly. He shouldn’t let nostalgia cloud his memories.

Sasuke purposefully hung back as the rest of the group joked and jostled their way down the path, but found himself walking in lockstep with Sakura anyway.

“Are you staying at the Lamplighter?” Her head cocked to one side so she could meet his gaze. “It’s the nicest place around so I figured-”

“Nah I’m at the Motel 66.”

Sakura’s eyes widened, scandalized, but she quickly recovered and changed the subject.

“It’s so beautiful, isn’t it?” She gestured at the scenery around them.

“I guess.”

“It’s like the perfect place to hide away when life gets chaotic- all quiet and secluded. I wish it wasn’t quite so far away though, I don’t think I’ve been up here since my high school graduation. We had this big bonfire, and Shikamaru stole a bottle of his dad’s whisky. We all wound up throwing our graduation caps over the falls. Er, but enough about me! Where did you go to school?”

“A private school back East. I was going to go to West Point for college, but I decided last minute to go to Tufts instead.” He trotted out the familiar lie. It got easier to tell every time, as if he was slowly starting to believe it had been his decision all along, not the fact that he’d been wait-listed.

“Oh wow that’s really hard to get into!” Sakura’s eyes widened. “I went to Seattle University for a semester last year but,” she faltered, “it didn’t work out. But I guess if I hadn’t come back home I wouldn’t have met you so that’s a plus, right?”

Naruto turned around and made a loud gagging noise. “College is just a buncha snooty rich kids jerkin’ each other off about how smart they are. Real life’s where you’re gonna learn. School of hard knocks all the way!”

“Shut up!” Sakura hissed. “Seriously, what’s gotten into you? Maybe some people LIKE learning, what’s wrong with that?”

“Aw geez, I didn’t mean-”

“We all know you’re a nerd, Sakura” Ino chimed in.

“Hilarious,” she muttered, but her cheeks were still flushed with anger. Fortunately, Lee jogged over to announce that he’d discovered a “fascinating variety of _sciuridae sciurimorpha_ ” which got everyone’s attention until they realized he was talking about a black squirrel.

The musical rush of water increased in volume as the trail wound higher until eventually the group reached a clearing on a bluff overlooking the falls. Sasuke couldn’t help but be a little bit awed. Leaves swirled in colorful eddies before they plunged down in a spray of white foam. The force of the moving water thundered along with his heartbeat.

_Incredible._

A red and white checkered cloth was spread out on the yellowing grass and sandwiches, a bag of chips, and two six-packs materialized. Although his old friends wouldn’t be caught dead having a happy-go-lucky picnic in the middle of the wilderness (unless they were really, really high), Sasuke found himself thinking of them with a pang of loneliness.  Shikamaru’s caustic sarcasm and general irritation at the world reminded him of Suigetsu, and the furious screech Ino let out when Lee tried to show her a beetle he’d caught could have come from Karin’s mouth. Even Hinata radiated a calm peacefulness like Juugo.

Naruto, however, was still just a massive pain in the ass.

“Guys look there’s another trail down here!” He was leaning precariously over the railing that separated him from a tumble into a frigid river, followed by a long drop, probably with rocks at the end.

“Careful,” Sakura begged. “I can’t save you from blunt force trauma with a single semester’s worth of nursing knowledge. “

“But you did learn how to give a good bed bath, right?”

“Oh my God Ino, stop.” Sakura buried her head in her hands while her friend cackled.

“C’mon, this looks cool!” Naruto whined. He still clutched half a sandwich in his hand, forgotten now in his excitement. “I think it goes all the way down to the bottom of the falls.”

“I would not recommend it,” Lee provided. “The rocks are probably very slippery. Only one with incredible dexterity could-”

“Y’all are a buncha chickens,” the blond crowed. “Watch me, I betcha a bottle of Jack I’ll make it.”

“Sure,” Shikamaru sniggered. “Can I have your stuff if you die? Ow!” Ino punched him in the arm.

“Please don’t,” Hinata whispered, but nobody seemed to pay her any mind. Sasuke was beginning to suspect she’d been invited on the merits of her transportation.

Naruto swung both legs jauntily over and took a few cautious steps before turning to see if people were watching him. The group was in fact momentarily transfixed. Sakura’s face was set in an angry scowl but her hands were clasped in her lap as if in prayer. Hinata had squeezed her eyes shut. The rest wore expressions in varying degrees of morbid interest. He fed on this, puffed his chest out and marched dramatically down the path, arms swinging to and fro in a parody of a soldier.

“See? Nothin’ to it. I’m tellin’ ya, you’re gonna miss out- yeaghh!”

A collective gasp rose from the audience as he went sprawling forward, hidden from view by the drop-off to the waterfall.

“Hah gotcha, suckers.” Naruto’s thatch of blond hair re-emerged over the bluff. “The trail really does look stable. It’s pretty straightforward down to the river. Any takers?”

“Okay FINE,” Sakura huffed, brushing crumbs off her thighs as she stood. “I suppose someone should come along and make sure you don’t kill yourself. What about you, Sasuke? Are you going to let him show you up?” Her eyebrow raised in challenge.

It was such an obvious ploy, but Sasuke knew his refusal would only serve to goad the others into persuading him to go, as well as feed Naruto’s already swollen ego.

“Whatever. This better be interesting.” He sauntered over to the rail.

“Anyone else?”

“Oh we’ll just stay here and cheer you on from safety,” Ino demurred, but a secretive look passed between her and Sakura that left Sasuke with a vague sense of unease. Karin often got that look in her eyes when Suigetsu would drag them off to a club together and promptly disappear into the crowd.

“I will travel down the long way, staying on the indicated path and we shall see who arrives first. It will be a race!” Lee jumped up, filled with sudden inspiration. “Hinata, will you join me? One should always hike with a buddy and Shikamaru and Chouji are too sl- busy eating,” he amended.

Hinata looked startled but nodded her head. “D-don’t let me hold you back though.”

“Alright, it’s on!” Naruto helped Sakura over the railing and then waited impatiently for Sasuke to join them. Ino tossed her hair and struck a simpering pose like the flag-waving women from the racing games at the arcade.

“Gentlemen, start your engines. On your mark, get set, go!” She swung her arm down and they were off.   

 

* * *

 

The “trail” was more of a well-worn path created over the years by teenagers sneaking out of bounds. It was only wide enough for them to go single file and the rocks were dampened by spray from the waterfall, which made for treacherous footing.  Naruto egged them on from the front with alternating jeers and shouts of encouragement.

“I can’t wait to see Lee’s face when we beat him. It’ll be hilarious!”

Sakura cursed under her breath as her ankle turned on a slippery rock. At the rate they were going, they’d sooner wind up dashed to pieces by the waterfall, Sasuke thought to himself. The only reason he was going along with this harebrained idea was to make sure no one got seriously hurt. Not because he’d look like a chicken if he turned back now.

“Hey, hey, I can see the riverbed. We’re almost there!” Naruto pointed excitedly at a muddy of patch ground that stuck out into the swirling water like a thumb.  The trail swooped down sharply, then followed the curving stone bank that had been shaped over thousands of years.

“Wow this is actually pretty neat,” Sakura sat to scoot herself down the steep slope, the pain in her ankle momentarily forgotten. “I wonder if this is where folks used to hide moonshine during Prohibition. I remember Mr. Daniels talking about it in tenth grade history. The river made all these natural caves and the water helped keep the booze cold. Can you imagine if we found one that got left behind?”

“We could sell it an’ get rich,” Naruto grinned.

“I was _going_ to say ‘we’d be holding a piece of history in our hands’ but whatever floats your boat, oh Mercenary One,” she scowled, but her tone was light. Sasuke didn’t miss the way Naruto watched her, his eyes wide like she was the eighth wonder of the world- too much to take in all at once.

“What would you do?” Sakura asked him. “Treasure it, or cash in?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Drink it. Sixty year-old liquor would probably pack quite a punch as long as it didn’t make you go blind. And nobody else would ever be able to say they did the same.”

To his surprise, Naruto burst out laughing as Sakura rolled her eyes. “Now THAT’S what I’m talking about. High-five!”

Sasuke pushed his arm away and ducked out ahead of him. “We should probably hurry if you want to beat Lee. Even if he’s got further to go, he’s no slouch.”

 

* * *

 

They emerged onto the riverbank muddy and triumphant. Rather, Naruto was triumphant. Sakura was bemoaning a tear in her shorts made by some particularly sharp rocks, and Sasuke was silently nursing scraped palms.

“Whooo! Shikamaru totally owes me. You guys’ll be my witnesses, right? We won fair ‘n square. And I’m not dead.”

“Even if you were you probably still wouldn’t shut up about it,” Sasuke muttered under his breath, loud enough for Sakura to hear judging by her snort of laughter that she quickly converted into a cough.

“You wanna fight right now? C‘mon there’s no one here to stop us like last time!” Naruto shouted gleefully over Sakura’s protests.

“I’ll pass,” he said drily. A pair of hands shoved at his chest and he staggered back.

“Pussy.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I wanna see what you’re made of.” The blond boy cracked his neck. “I know I said you were a prissy scholar-type earlier, but I wasn’t completely telling the truth. There’s somethin’ tough about you. How you showed up out of the blue. Nobody comes to this town for no reason. An’ you ain’t got family here.”

_He’s more perceptive than I thought._

“I could say the same thing about you,” Sakura pointed out. “Look, can’t we just have a nice afternoon without all your macho posturing for once?” She glanced helplessly between them.

“What’re you waiting for?” Naruto’s grin had taken on a wicked edge. He shoved Sasuke again. The ground underneath his sneakers was getting softer, the river inches away from lapping at his calves.

“Don’t touch me!” _Knowing looks in bathroom stalls, handkerchiefs hanging jauntily out of back pockets. I didn’t want to hear about the bars, the dancing. It just happened. Things you hear on campus. I wasn’t curious. I wouldn’t dare disappoint the family. Not in that way. Itachi met a nice girl…_

Naruto persisted, hands tickling over Sasuke’s ribs in a manner that was too light to be a serious challenge.

_You’re imagining it, you’re-_

Another hit, lower on his stomach. Naruto’s eyebrows raised, his mouth open slightly in that maddening grin. His eyes danced with a hidden light, a promise of something lurking below the surface if Sauke was brave enough to ask what it was.

“I said cut it out!” Another step back and his foot splashed up to his ankle in icy water. The current was frighteningly strong. “What are you, a fucking faggot?”

Sakura gasped behind Naruto’s left shoulder. The boy snarled, his features turning ugly and feral. For a minute Sasuke thought he was going to get punched again, but then Naruto shook his hand out as if he’d touched something dirty.

“I was just playin’ around. God, you’re an even bigger asshole than I thought. Sorry for tryin’ to be friends. Forget it.” He stalked off, fuming.

“Naruto-” Sakura cast an uneasy glance back at him. Her expression was shuttered, somewhere between cautious and disproving judging by the way her forehead crinkled and her lower lip stuck out in a pout.     
“That wasn’t necessary. He may be obnoxious but Naruto’s a nice guy, not a-a degenerate. I hope he’s wrong about you,” she said finally before following after the blond.   

Sasuke stood on sodden feet and felt his socks squish uncomfortably against fast-numbing toes. He cursed his own paranoia and the hair-trigger response that made him look more suspicious than anything else. He almost wished Naruto had pushed him all the way into the river so he’d have a better excuse to fight back, to grind the other man’s head against the rocks while own lips split from the force of the other’s blows. He might even lose.

_I’d probably deserve it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The line about "handkerchiefs" is a reference to flagging- or the practice of wearing different colored bandanas to indicate casual sex-seeking (amongst gay men at this time period, though the practice has evolved to include different genders and fetishes). Hankies worn on the left side indicate the person is a bottom while tops wear them on the right.


	6. Out of the Frying Pan

Sakura rested her head against the cash register. The cold metal keys poked her cheek but she didn’t care. The flow of customers into the diner had slowed to a trickle as the summer tourist season wound down, bringing oppressive wet rains and chilly breezes. The rest of Bedford Falls hadn’t begun settling down for the winter yet, determined to chase every last dollar until the cash flow into town all but dried up until May. Which was why she was working in an empty restaurant with nothing to look at but boiling gray clouds through the window.

Naruto and Sasuke hadn’t spoken to each other aside from tight, clipped demands since the disastrous outing to the falls a week ago. Sakura wasn’t sure if she preferred that to the two of them shouting at each other all the time, but it made the place feel all the more lonely for it. Ino spent most of her time in the kitchen with Shikamaru these days.

_Sasuke hasn’t said anything to me about it. Was I too hard on him? Did I hurt his feelings?”_ She shook her head. He was the one who’d been out of line in the first place. And Ino was always telling her not to be such a pushover.

Sakura dragged a rag across a counter that was already so clean she could see her face in it. A large chunk of hair had escaped her ponytail and the concealer Ino swore by couldn’t manage to cover the dark circles under her eyes.

_I’m not exactly a catch in the first place._

The crash of plates breaking against the floor snapped her out of her self-pitying reverie.

“Fuck you too!”

Naruto stormed through the double doors from the kitchen. They waved to and fro at the impact like heavy wings. He stopped to glare at Sakura.

“That bastard Sasuke’s ruining everything!” He shouted without preamble. She motioned him over to a seat at the counter with an internal sigh.

“What’s going on?”

“I used to like it here,” Naruto said, quietly this time. “Then HE showed up an’ everyone starts paying attention to him and thinking he’s hot shit cuz he’s a city boy. Everything he says just gets under my skin but nobody seems to care.” He fiddled with a salt and pepper shaker.

Sakura’s heart softened. _He’s like a puppy that gets jealous when the owners bring home a new baby. He doesn’t want to give up the spotlight he’s had in our little group. Maybe that’s why he was being such an ass on the hike- he was desperate for attention._

“It’s been a while since we’ve hung out just the two of us, hasn’t it?” she mused.

“Yeah,” Naruto’s eyes darkened, “an’ you didn’t even ask me if I wanted to come to the falls with you. It was Shikamaru and he doesn’t even like me that much. I don’t wanna be your pity friend while you go chasing after Sasuke. I’m telling you, he’s bad news! Plus he’s not even interested in you,” he added with a snort.

“That’s not-” Sakura huffed, momentarily too angry for words. She wasn’t sure what was worse- that Naruto was wrong about how she saw their friendship or that he was probably right about Sasuke.

“Remember what it was like when you first came into town?” She asked, smoothing her hair down to regain her composure.

“People looked at me like I had three heads,” Naruto grumbled.

“Exactly! We aren’t used to newcomers around here so folks tend to be on the suspicious side.” _Especially if said newcomer is as loud and cocky as you are._

“What does that-”

“Now imagine how Sasuke feels. He’s in a totally new and unfamiliar environment, most people aren’t even pretending to be friendly…”

Naruto folded his arms across his chest mulishly. “That doesn’t give him an excuse to be a jerk!”

“That’s true,” Sakura agreed with as much patience as she could muster. “But don’t you think he might act out against what he perceives is a threat?”

The blond boy’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“Just try and get along with him, that’s all I’m asking,” Sakura said. She punctuated the last word with a heavy slap of her palms against the counter. _He’s just as lonely as you are, I’m pretty sure of it._

“Not until he apologizes.”

She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming. _It was just a stupid bout of name calling. Hell, you were the one that started it._ But instead she said “Fair enough. Now have you at least cooled down enough to work together without escalating to physical violence?”

He gave a sheepish shrug. “Yeah, I just…” something fleeting and unreadable passed across his face; so rare for Naruto’s often painful emotional honesty, but it was vanished like clouds before the sun. Sakura wondered if she imagined it.

“Hey whaddya say we do lunch tomorrow? We can go somewhere nice. With _real cloth napkins,_ ” he waggled his eyebrows in a comically exaggerated manner.

Sakura laughed. “Sure.”

_Wait is this his way of asking me out on a date?_

Before she had a chance to consider the implications, the kitchen door swung open again to reveal Sasuke with his jaw set in a stubborn line. His eyes flicked between the two of them and narrowed.

“Well are you going to help me sweep up the mess you made or not?” He asked coldly.

A vein pulsed in Naruto’s forehead, but to his credit he managed to keep his mouth shut. Sakura looked at the clock and groaned. Three more hours to go.

 

* * *

 

Ino’s apartment was nearly identical in layout compared to Sakura’s, though the average visitor wouldn’t notice due to the sheer amount of stuff that cluttered every available surface. The walls were coated in so many different pictures torn from magazines that it was impossible to see the paint underneath. Sakura always got the impression she was walking through a pop-art exhibit about the all-consuming nature of capitalism and the Big Brother attitude of advertising corporations, only Ino decorated without any sense of irony.

She swatted aside the beaded curtain that doubled for a door to her friend’s room. Ino was lying on her stomach paging through the latest issue of Cosmo. Sakura shoved aside a pile of clothes to join her on the bed.

“What a day. I made one whole dollar in tips,” she griped.

Ino looked up from her magazine. “Tell me about it. Look on the bright side; diets are easy when you don’t have enough money for food. We’ll be looking nice and slim come summer.”

“Speaking of, I’m hungry. Got anything good in the fridge?” Sakura began their standard banter in an attempt to shake the unease she felt about Naruto’s offer that afternoon. Ino took the bait and pushed her off the bed with her foot.

“I see you and Shikamaru have successfully passed the two-week mark. Congratulations.” She clapped sarcastically from her position on the floor.

 Ino rolled her eyes. “All he ever wants to do is order a pizza, watch a movie, and have sex. It’s not hard.”

“Ah, young love,” Sakura wiped an imaginary tear from her eye.

“You’re so old-fashioned. Would you prefer to be courted? Have him meet mom and dad first? ‘Hello Mr. and Mrs. Haruno, I think you’re daughter’s real swell’-”

“Don’t even laugh, that’s basically my parents’ dream come true.”

Ino twisted around to face Sakura and propped herself up on her elbow. “Okay but what do YOU want?”

She shrugged.

“Please tell me you aren’t still pining after Sasuke.”

Sakura blew out a long breath. It was impossible to lie. Ino always weaseled the truth out of her eventually.

“Naruto asked me out to lunch tomorrow, actually. I don’t know how I feel about it.” She waited for the jeering, the I-told-you-so’s, but instead Ino slid down to her level and wrapped an arm around her. She smelled like the jasmine perfume from the drugstore; sweet and mildly intoxicating.

“Talk to me.”

“He’s nice. He really is. And we get along and he’s actually a pretty good listener when he can sit still long enough, but…” she shrugged, “I feel like everyone’s _expecting_ me to date him, just like with Lee and I don’t know how I feel about doing anything romantic with him. It seems awkward. Plus I don’t know, maybe part of me is still hoping Sasuke’ll take notice and change his mind.”

Ino nodded pensively. “Well you COULD date Naruto to try and make him jealous. That’s usually a good test.”

“I don’t play games like you.”

She grinned wickedly and squeezed Sakura tighter. “Okay fine, we can do this the nicely. Explain to Naruto that you just don’t like him that way! I know I always tease you that you guys would make a good couple but it’s not my decision in the end. I can’t change how you feel.” Her breath tickled Sakura’s ear and sent shivers down her spine. Ino never really had much concept of personal space.

“As for Sasuke, hmm we’ll just have to find a way for him to see you all dolled up. Then he wouldn’t be able to resist.”

Sakura leaned her head against her friend’s shoulder. “Thanks.”

She highly doubted this would be the case. Besides she didn’t even want to think of Naruto’s reaction if anything were to happen between them, but she allowed Ino to comfort her, to let her pretend she was the strong, sensual woman she longed to be.

 

* * *

 

In retrospect, Sakura should have anticipated that Naruto would be late. As it was she was stuck fiddling with her purse while she sat alone at a table covered in clean white linen, feeling somewhat like a traitor for patronizing a restaurant other than the Double R.

_The local artwork on the wall is a nice touch, maybe we could do something like that._

She asked for a glass of water from a passing waiter and toyed with the slice of lemon that accompanied it as she watched the people passing on the streets, seeking out Naruto’s jaunty strut. She wore a long-sleeved pink shirt under a green frock that matched her eyes and jeans that followed the lines of her legs nicely but were not, as Ino would say, “an invitation.”

_I’m sorry, but I don’t like you THAT way. Can’t we just stay friends?_ Sakura repeated the line over and over to herself until the words started to blur into nonsense. _How hard can it be?_

“Um, are you going to order anything?” the waiter was back, looking down at her with a curious expression. Sakura glanced at the clock on the wall and realized with a jolt that half an hour had passed.

“I-I’m waiting for someone.”

The waiter shrugged and wandered off.

_Where is he?_

Another ten minutes passed with no sign of him. The waiter was starting to send pitying looks her way. Her stomach rolled with unease as well as hunger.

_Is this some sort of sick prank? Did he think it’d be funny to stand me up? “Nobody wants to date Sakura Ha Ha the look on her face-”_

Anger welled up from the very bottoms of her feet. It forced her legs into action. She stood violently, her chair tipping back on two legs before slamming down again, the noise muffled by carpet. Sakura left two quarters on the table for the waiter. Tipping for a free drink was perhaps unnecessary but she figured the poor bastard deserved at least a little something for his time.

The eyes of the other patrons drilled into her back as she stalked out. Her face and ears were burning but at least the tears that were threatening to spill out stayed firmly behind her lashes.

_I can’t believe he’d do something like that._

Once out on the street, Sakura found herself suddenly at a loss for where to go. Her insides were too raw with a potent mix of grief, betrayal, and anger to visit Ino. She’d start bawling before her friend even opened the door and she was too proud to admit to her unending stupidity just yet. Plus, Ino would try and make her feel better.

_I’m vain. Vain and idiotic for assuming a guy must be head over heels for me when actually he was laughing behind my back the whole time. I assumed he liked me so I could feel better about myself, to pity him because I didn’t return his affections. Well the joke’s on me, isn’t it?_

Her own apartment beckoned. At least there she could scream as loud as she wanted. Until the neighbors complained through the thin walls. They already weren’t on the best of terms after Sakura had drunkenly attempted to break in one night after mistaking their door for her own. On second thought, the apartment was much too claustrophobic. She didn’t want to see all the little reminders of how she was failing to be a proper adult; dirty dishes in the sink, unpaid bills on the kitchen table, the stuffed animal tucked into the corner of her bed.

Sakura let her feet carry her through the town. In the middle of the day there weren’t too many people around to notice her twisted, streaky face. She finally stopped when an uneven bit of sidewalk caught the tip of her shoe and sent her sprawling. The damage was minor- a scrape on her palm, a bruised knee, but Sakura sat on her butt and sobbed as if she’d broken her leg. When she’d finally recovered enough to wipe her eyes and look around, she realized she was in front of the Motel 66.

_God I hope Sasuke didn’t see me._

She winced as she picked herself off the ground and dusted off her clothes. The cut on her palm stung but it wasn’t bleeding any more than a few sluggish drops.

_I’ll survive,_ she thought wryly.

“Sakura…” The voice was so faint it was almost lost on the wind. She cocked her head, unsure if she’d really heard it or if was a result of post-meltdown paranoia.

“Help… Me.”

The parking lot, behind a stack of old tires and an overflowing dumpster. She walked with a numb floaty feeling. She knew she didn’t want to see what was there, but was drawn there anyway like a moth to flame. The pieces were clicking into place but she didn’t want to look at them. The completed puzzle was too grotesque.

Naruto was curled on his side in the fetal position. His hair was matted with blood and his face was so swollen it was nearly unrecognizable. He kept his arm draped protectively around his midsection. When he saw her he managed to grin through split lips.

“Sorry about lunch,” Naruto wheezed before his eyelids fluttered, then closed.

 

* * *

 

Sakura sat frozen in terror for a moment before her woefully inadequate training kicked in.

_ABCs. Airway. Breathing. Circulation._

The rise and fall of his chest and the puff of warm air against her hand confirmed the first two. His pulse was rapid but steady and strong. From what she could see, he was bleeding freely from several gashes on his forehead, his nose was swollen and purpling, and a quick peek under his shirt revealed abrasions and more bruising along his sides. It was what she couldn’t see that worried her.

_C’mon please wake up…_

Naruto groaned at her touch.

“Can you hear me?”

He nodded. Sakura let out a huge sigh of relief. Almost definitely concussed, but not in any immediate danger.

“You need to get to a hospital right away. I’ll go run in and use the phone at the front desk of the motel. Stay calm, everything is going to be al-”

“No!” Naruto hauled himself into a sitting position. He swayed dangerously, eyes glazed with pain. “No hospital. I’ll b’fine.”

“Are you crazy? You need x-rays! Stitches! Pain medication!” Sakura spluttered.

“M’not going.” He clenched her hand in his with a sense of urgency. “Please Sakura, I can’t. It’s dangerous. I can’t go, I can’t talk to doctors.”

_What happened to you, Naruto? What have you gotten yourself mixed up in?_

“Okay, okay calm down. Breathe nice and slow. That’s it.” _Shit what are we going to do?_ She realized that she had no idea where Naruto lived, and her apartment was too far for him to walk in this condition.

There was one other option…


	7. Into the Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm stirring from my food coma to give you this chapter. Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Americans. Even with all the bullshit going on we can at least be full of rage and pie instead of just rage today. 
> 
> Talk of homophobia/violence against LGBT people this chapter. Nothing explicit but I know family-oriented holidays can be hard on many of us. Take care everyone <33

Sasuke lay flat on his back on the lumpy mattress, staring at the ceiling. As much as he hated working long, greasy shifts at the diner, his days off were even worse. The motel room was already spotless; he’d whiled away yesterday on his hands and knees, scrubbing the place spotless. His bed was made with military precision, there wasn’t a speck of dust on the TV (which had been busted for days but Sasuke was loath to let anyone inside to fix it).

_Maybe Kakashi’d let me pick up another shift…_

But that meant working with Naruto. Sasuke wrinkled his nose. The blond man had been even more temperamental since their little spat at the falls. In fact, everyone seemed to give him a wide berth after that, including Sakura. Occasionally he’d caught her watching him with a far-off look in her eye but she’d quickly look away every time. 

_“God you’re hopeless,”_ Karin would snap. “ _Is it even possible for you not to be a judgmental asshole all the time? This is why you don’t have any friends.”_

_“How come you keep hanging around me then?”_ He’d respond, which would cause all manner of indignant protesting and stomping off, only for her to return later in the evening, the picture of contriteness.

Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes. It wouldn’t do him any good to remember that now. Karin was probably in jail, if she was lucky. If not… he shuddered. He hadn’t slept well the past few nights. Something dark stalked through his dreams; restless, half-buried memories mixed with blood and urgent whispers that he’d forget as soon as he’d wake up confused in a cold sweat.

No news was supposed to be good news, but he didn’t believe Danzo would let him off scott-free. No, he was waiting to strike out there in the shadows. One wrong move, a careless slip of the tongue and it’d be all over. 

_What would mother and father think of me then? Their second son a two-bit criminal, a disgrace to the family name._

A knock sounded at the door. Sasuke grunted and rolled over.

Another knock, more insistent.

“Can’t you read the sign? It says ‘Do Not Disturb’. I don’t need my linens changed.”

“Sasuke, it’s me. Please, this is an emergency.” Sakura’s voice, muffled by to door but undoubtedly exasperated with a rough edge of fear underneath.

_Did Shikamaru finally forget to turn the gas off before he left and blow the diner sky-high?_

Against his better judgment, he shuffled over and yanked the door open a crack without releasing the deadbolt. He set his face in a scowl, which was quickly dropped when he saw what was waiting for him outside.

Sakura was struggling to keep Naruto upright, his head lolling limply against the crook of her neck. Blood was smeared across her cheek, but judging from her wide-eyed expression, it wasn’t hers.

Sasuke fumbled with the lock.

“Get in,” he hissed as he shot a nervous glance up and down the halls. No witnesses. Good. Except possibly the man at the front desk. Speaking of…

“How the hell did you find me here? What happened? Why-”

“Not a good time right now,” Sakura grumbled as she hauled Naruto over the threshold. He mumbled something incomprehensible as she sat him down on the bed. Sasuke opened his mouth to protest then thought the better of it.

“But if you must know, I had forty bucks in my wallet and the guy at the front desk isn’t the type to ask questions.”

“You _bribed_ him?”

“Get me some soap and clean towels,” Sakura snapped. “After that, go to the ice machine down the hall and fill me up a big bag. Make that two.”

Sasuke complied dumbly. She’d never taken charge like this at the diner before. Even in the middle of a dinner rush, she was careful to ask politely. She never ordered people around. Scratch that, she never ordered _him_ around- the rest of the employees were fair game for her rare but scorching outbursts. His head was whirling with questions but now didn’t seem the appropriate time to ask any of them. He raided the bathroom of anything that looked remotely clean, adding the pitifully small first-aid kit he’d picked up at the drugstore just in case.

By the time he returned with the ice, Sakura was bent over Naruto, gently dabbing the dirt out of his wounds. He stared ahead glassy-eyed and barely flinching.

“He needs to go to the hospital.” Sasuke set the bag down on the nightstand. His ears strained to pick up the sound of distant sirens or the bated breath of the owner standing on the other side of the wall. The last thing he needed was to get involved in… whatever mess this was. People would start asking questions, and if they so much as scratched beneath the surface, he’d be done for.

“You think I don’t know that? He got all freaked out and refused. Er, sorry for busting in like this by the way,” she said, regaining a touch of her usual demeanor. “I-I couldn’t think of what else to do.”

_You both need to go._ The words were on the tip of his tongue when Naruto stirred, and groaned restlessly. Sakura’s hand shot out to take his pulse. A tense minute went by before she breathed out a small sigh of relief.

“He’s got some cuts that could definitely use a few stitches and some bad bruising. Probably a concussion. I couldn’t tell you any more without an x-ray. Broken ribs? The bruising around his sides has me worried about internal injuries but…” she chewed her lower lip.

“You need to tell me what exactly is going on before I throw both of you to the curb,” Sasuke said hotly. “Don’t you realize how suspicious this looks? If Naruto d- if anything bad were to happen here they could pin it all on me.” _The kid does have a stoner look about him. Was it a deal gone south?_

“I don’t know!” Sakura burst out. “I found him in the parking lot like this,” her voice lowered to a whisper.

“Dun’ worry about me,” Naruto croaked from his prone position. “S’not the first time. I’ll survive. Jus’ lemme rest a bit.”

“Like hell!” Sasuke grabbed him roughly by the shoulder. Sakura gave him a reproachful look but he didn’t care. “You’re putting all of us in danger, you moron. Now tell me what exactly you got messed up in. And don’t bother lying. It’s pointless and won’t help us if it turns out whoever’s out to get you might come after us too.”

Sakura gasped at that. _Is she really that naïve?_

“Truckers. Prob’ly left town already,” he mumbled into the blankets, defeated.

“And why exactly did they beat the living shit out of you?” Sasuke gritted out.

Naruto glared at him in sullen silence. “None of your business, asshole. Forget it, I’ll leave.” He struggled to sit up, but even that simple motion winded him. A tear had gathered in the corner of his eye but he didn’t wipe it away.

“Shh take it easy,” Sakura pressed a bag of ice against his cheek. “You’re not going anywhere in that condition,” she cut her eyes meaningfully at Sasuke. “And we aren’t going to abandon you.”

Sasuke shifted his weight from foot to foot. A bold statement considering the most positive interaction he’d had with the guy recently was not getting into another fistfight.

_I could tell Sakura I was going out to get bandages. Walk out the door and never come back. I think I have enough saved for another bus ticket._ He hated himself for his cowardice. Itachi would’ve found a way to make things better with his calm, level-headed presence. People instinctively turned to him in times of chaos and he never let them down.

“Can he stay with you? Please, just for tonight.” Sakura clasped her hands in front of her like a half-formed prayer. “I know it’s too much to ask-you barely know us and it’s dangerous like you said, but-” she gestured helplessly at Naruto. “What else can we do?”

_Dump him at the doors of the nearest Emergency Room like any sensible person would._

Sasuke didn’t take his eyes off the rise and fall of Naruto’s chest. His sheets were ruined, his privacy invaded, and worst of all, they still hadn’t solved the mystery of how he’d gotten hurt in the first place. An angry mob of truckers could storm the motel at any moment.

And yet-

_Suigetsu barged in without bothering to knock._

_“Killer fucking party.” The stench of whisky emanated from swollen lips._

_“I’m studying. Go away.”_

_“I think I need stitches.”_

_“So? That’s your own damn fault.” Sasuke’s eyes barely flicked up from his textbook, but it was long enough to catch Suigetsu’s horrifically bruised face to break out in a grin._

_“Big asshole with a glass bottle. You should see him though. Cops’ll be scraping him off the sidewalk tomorrow morning prob’ly.”_

_“Ask Karin to patch you up.”_

_Suigetsu frowned. “She’s passed out. Plus she stabs the needle in way too far. I bet she enjoys-”_

_“Juugo?”_

_“Sleeps like a rock.”_

_Sasuke sighed. Economic Theory wasn’t going to do him much good at this rate._

_“Sit down. I’ll go wash my hands. Don’t bleed on my stuff.”_

“Fine. Whatever,” he muttered as Sakura sagged with relief. 

“I’ll stay too. I can monitor his condition and if anything gets worse we can-”

Naruto waved a dismissive hand at her. “Go home and rest. You look like you got run over by a steamroller. ‘Sides I feel better already,” he laughed weakly, then winced. “I might not even have to spend the whole night in this shitty place if I can sleep it off for a few hours. Wouldn’t wanna burden our _gracious host,_ ” he added sarcastically.

Sakura gave him a critical look. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“Very funny. Sasuke, call an ambulance.”

“Three! Three! I was just messin’ around.” Naruto stuck his enormous lower lip out.

Sakura’s frown softened. “I guess you can’t be in too much danger if you’re feeling well enough to joke like that. Still,” she bit the pad of her thumb. “I hate to leave you like this.” She turned to Sasuke. “Do you swear you’ll call me if anything changes? Even if it’s something small.”

He nodded as Sakura fished around in her purse for a pen and scrap paper. “Here’s my phone number. Don’t be afraid to call, day or night. Oh! I’ll be working open to three tomorrow so call the diner in-between those times if he’s still here. I’ll let Kakashi know-”

“Get outta here already or I’ll start calling you ‘Mom’,” Naruto rolled his eyes in mock disgust. “And uhh, I’m really sorry about lunch today. I’ll make it up to you, I promise!”

Her breath caught and for a moment Sasuke thought she might cry, but Sakura shook her head and mumbled something about how if he wasn’t already beat up she’d punch him for being an idiot. Then she gave Sasuke one last searching look before she left, closing the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

Silence quickly descended over the motel. Sasuke made sure both bolt and chain were firmly in place before he grabbed the hefty baseball bat he’d stashed in the closet. Just in case.

 Naruto fidgeted with the blankets. All the easygoing charm he’d had with Sakura was gone. Sasuke felt an irrational flare of jealousy at that, though he knew he hadn’t done anything to deserve his friendship.

“You gonna finish the job and stuff me in a dumpster now?” The blond asked, eyeing the bat.

“Only if you don’t tell me the truth,” Sasuke shot back. “Sakura’s not here. You don’t have to pretend you’re all smiles and sunshine for me.”

Naruto snorted. “Oooh scary. It takes one to know one pal, so what’s your secret? What brings a city boy out into the middle of nowhere to work a dead-end job at a diner? You said yourself you were above that kinda thing. I think you’re more afraid of who might find YOU rather than little ol’ me.”

Sasuke suppressed a shudder, surprised once again at the bastard’s perceptiveness.

“Shut up.”

“Heh knew it.”

He was seriously considering going back on his offer to Sakura.

“Sucks being on the run though, don’t it?” Naruto picked absentmindedly at a spot of dried blood on his cheek. “Hell, I skipped out of foster care when I was fifteen and haven’t looked back since so I feel ya.”

“No you don’t,” Sasuke hissed. “Stop trying to act like you’re my friend because you don’t know the first thing about me. You’d get eaten alive back on the East Coast so don’t come around talking tough like you’re a streetwise guru with a heart of gold. I don’t buy that shit.”

“Yeah you look real tough holding that bat like you’re about to piss your pants. If ya knew anything about self-defense you’d block the windows too. They’re easy to break, especially on the first floor. And why don’t you man up an’ buy a gun? Betcha whoever’s on your ass won’t show up to fight with his fists.”

Sasuke gritted his teeth. “If I get found, _period_ , it’s over. Won’t matter if I have a fucking tank, this guy’ll kill me without even blinking.” He sat in a chair at the foot of the bed and placed the weapon across his lap. “Which is why it was stupid for you to come here in the first place. Now I’ll ask one last time. Who attacked you, and why?”

Naruto’s eyes widened at that. He stared down at his scraped knuckles, but when he met Sasuke’s eyes again his expression was fierce and defiant.

“You were right about me, you know.”

“What?”

“I am a fucking faggot.” Naruto bared his teeth in a gross parody of a smile. “There’s a guy called Lloyd who swings through town every few weeks for a blowjob. I guess his buddies heard and didn’t take too kindly to it. So what’re you gonna do, finish what they started?”

Sasuke felt like his intestines were filling up with freezing water. The irony was so thick he could drown in it.

“The last family I had tried to send me to Jesus camp to get it beaten out of me so I ran away. I’ve been all over but I don’t usually stay in any one place more than a few months. Somebody always finds out and makes trouble. I really like it in Bedford Falls,” his voice hitched.

“I’ve made friends, especially Sakura, and I’ve got a decent job and Kakashi’s not a bad boss most of the time and, and you’d better not fuck this up for me.” The anger was back; a hot, searing force that was almost palpable in the room. “I swear to god if you do, I’ll personally find whoever’s looking for you an’ give ‘em a big fat tip. I’ll even hold you down while they pull out your fingernails.”    

Sasuke wasn’t sure how to respond he so went over to the radio stand and retrieved a plastic bottle full of atrocious vodka he’d been saving for a desperate occasion. He snatched a few cubes of ice from the bag Naruto had abandoned and proffered him a cup.

_Sakura would kill me but hey, I’m already in hell._

“I can drink to that,” he said sardonically.

“Mm the best medicine.” Naruto took the bottle out of his hand and took a long swig. He came up spluttering slightly. Not to be outdone, Sasuke decided to forgo the glass as well. The liquor was warm and tasted like he’d licked one of the disinfectant pads out of the first-aid kits.

_Father would have a stroke if he knew._

He found that thought surprisingly pleasant as he let the alcohol bubble up through his system. Naruto was already wavering back and forth slightly.

“Yanno, I was hoping you’d be gay too. If I keep hittin’ up truckers I’m gonna get syph.”

“Well I’m not,” Sasuke snarled. _I just haven’t found the right woman yet._ He remembered Itachi’s pitying gaze as he fumbled to hold his date’s hand while his mother took their pictures before the seventh grade dance. He couldn’t recall her name, only that she leaned in too close and he spent most of the night studiously ignoring her.

In high school he’d been too busy preparing for college to date anyone, for all the good that wound up doing him in the end. Besides, he’d found girls his age shrill and confusing. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out why they wanted to hang around him all the time with eyes like saucers.

And once he got to college, well…

“Go to sleep.” Sasuke pushed away the loneliness that clawed at him with another shot.

He’d fully intended to stay awake and keep watch, but as the hours grew long and Naruto’s wheezy snores filled the room, his eyelids drooped. When he woke in the morning the rust-stained sheets were the only sign the blond man had been there at all.


	8. Unholy

_“I’ve wanted this for this for such a long time.”_

_She saw Sasuke’s hands reach out to caress a version of her face that was clear of blemishes and had a reasonably-sized forehead._

_“Me too,” Sakura whispered back. “Ever since we met I’ve been waiting for you to notice me.” His finger traced the outline of his lips and she shivered. The edges of her vision were cloaked in a soft, sunset pink, but his features stood out in such sharp relief that she could count his eyelashes if she wanted to._

_She tipped her chin up and closed her eyes to lean into the kiss. His mouth was softer than she imagined. Emboldened she grabbed a handful of his hair as she trailed her other hand down his waist._

_“Yes,” a throaty, breathy moan, but it was not Sasuke’s voice._

_Sakura’s eyes snapped open. The hair she held was silky yellow, not black. The lips that had been pressed against hers were a soft, pink cupid’s bow now quirked in a smile._

_“Didn’t know you had it in you, girl,” Ino said with a devious wink._

_“Don’t be stupid,” she heard herself saying. For some reason the betrayal didn’t bother her. She felt airy, full of light. “I’ve been practicing.”_

_Ino giggled and planted another delicate kiss on her collarbone. Sakura wondered vaguely where their clothes had gone, but the fuzzy recesses of her mind absorbed the concern. Ino’s breasts brushed against her side as she snuggled down next to her in bed._

_Where was the bed? Was this her apartment? The bland walls gave no clue._

_“Show me what you learned,” Ino whispered in her ear._

“Sakura!” A sharp nudge jolted her awake. She instantly flushed red as her mother’s eyebrows knitted together in a disproving frown. A hard bench underneath her, itchy lace gloves bothering her wrists, oh God she’d fallen asleep in church. And the dream she’d been having…

She let out a small, horrified gasp and turned an even deeper shade of beetroot, which caused her mother to give her an even sharper look.

_Shit shit shit, can she read my mind? No Sakura, don’t be stupid. Nobody’s even paying attention. You must’ve just nodded off during the hymns. The sermon’s wrapping up, people are smiling and shaking hands, just act normal. That’s it._

She embraced Mrs. Ledbetter, the little old lady who lived down the street from her childhood home and who also seemed to be waking up from a nap.

_What was that about? Though I guess with everything that happened yesterday some sort of weird anxiety dream wouldn’t be abnormal._

Sakura fidgeted in her seat as an endless stream of well-meaning neighbors stopped by to shake hands. She’d barely gotten any sleep after dropping Naruto off at the motel. She’d dozed by the phone all night, waiting for it to ring with the worst possible news. Then she’d dragged herself to the diner, where she’d been forced to explain to Kakashi that they’d be doubly understaffed, and proceeded to run her ass off doing her job as well as that of the two missing bussers.

Just when she’d been about to crash and burn in the sanctity of her own apartment, her mother had called and asked her to join in the late afternoon service in a tone that had brooked no argument. At least she’d been so exhausted that all her worries about Naruto and his injuries had been pushed aside, but now they were flooding back with a vengeance.

_I have to get back to the motel as soon as possible. Yes hello Mr. Cairnes, I am a model citizen who was not at all dreaming sinfully during your sermon today._

Sakura shifted uncomfortably under the eyes of at least a dozen stone saints, their countenances set in grim, accusatory positions.

_How can I think like that about Ino in the first place? She’s my best friend! Half the time all we talk about together is boys. I’m sure it happens to everyone. I bet Freud would say it’s a manifestation of my feelings for Sasuke warped by my subconscious into a form that feels safe. I’m comfortable around Ino, but not quite around him because I don’t know him as well. Also, if my subconscious was trying to relieve my stress, then it probably didn’t want to remind me about the whole business with Naruto._

“Mom, can we please-” she tugged at her sleeve, but her mother gave her the look that was usually accompanied by the use of her full name.

After what felt like hours of forced, polite, smiles, they were finally out in the sunshine and making progress towards her mother’s car.

“I’m so sorry, things have been really tough at the diner lately, and um some stuff’s been going on with my friends, and I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now,” Sakura babbled . “I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep until you woke me up, gosh I’m glad I didn’t cause a scene.”

“Oh honey, I wish you’d told me that before,” her mother stopped the click-click of her heels on the sidewalk to scrutinize her. “Look at those bags under your eyes. Has Kakashi been working you too hard again?”

“No, it’s not like that.”

“Did you and Ino get into another fight?”

“Er, no-”

Mrs. Haruno’s eyebrow shot up and her voice took on a conspiratorial tone. “Boy trouble then?”

“Mom! Can we please get home? I’m really tired.” There was no way she could ask to get dropped off by the motel at this point. Alarm bells were probably already going off in her mother’s head that her little baby was up to no good. She couldn’t muster up the energy to convince her otherwise.

_Sasuke did seem pretty concerned that Naruto fell in with a bad crowd._ Sakura shook her head. That was ridiculous. He was cheerful and awkward, hardly a criminal. Still, when her mother pecked her on the cheek and reminded her how much she was loved, Sakura felt a creeping sense of guilt. She tried to convince herself that she was doing the right thing, but a lie of omission was still a lie after all.

 

* * *

 

_Safe._

Sakura locked the door behind her and allowed a small sigh of relief. These outings with her mother, which had once been an oasis where she could discuss her troubles, were becoming more exhausting than anything else.

_When did I stop trusting her to help me?_  Sakura briefly thought about Seattle; the frequent phone calls, the heavy, expectant pauses on the end of the line, “Have you met any nice young doctors yet?” but pushed the memories aside.

_I’m back home to stay for now so I have more time to be with my family. And that’s what matters._

A loud clink sounded from the kitchen, followed by muffled cursing.

Sakura froze. Her heart thundered away in her chest like a locomotive. The jokes she’d made with Ino about getting a weapon for self-defense suddenly seemed painfully ironic. She edged along the wall towards the living room. The phone sat on the end table next to the squashy brown recliner, which sat in full view of the kitchen.

_So close, yet so far. I should just get the hell out of here, run next door and use their phone to call the police._

She took a step back and promptly tripped over her own feet. She landed with a loud thump that sent the intruder scrambling into the entrance hall.

_I never thought I’d die like this._

“Sakura, s’that you?”  Floppy blond bangs above a battered face appeared in her field of vision.

Relief flooded her, only to be replaced almost instantaneously with irritation.

“Jesus Christ Naruto, what were you doing breaking into my apartment?”

He gave her a lopsided smile, lips still swollen and purpled from the beating. “I was hoping you’d be home. I, uh, need some help cleaning up ‘n shit. You’re the type who’s got disinfectant and band-aids around, right?

“Behind the mirror in the bathroom! You think I keep that stuff lying around next to my plates? I thought you were a burglar, or a serial murderer, or-” Sakura was cut off mid-sentence as Naruto pulled her to her feet.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” he winced and rubbed his shoulder. The overall swelling on his face had gone down, but the bruises had darkened and spread. Dried blood still crusted on his forehead as well as the corner of his mouth. Coupled with his hunched posture and the careful, stiff way he moved, it hurt to look at him.

She softened, the harsh angles of her body opening up as she relaxed her elbows and took him by the hand.

“Alright follow me. How come you aren’t at Sasuke’s anyway?”

Naruto fidgeted. “Say I like your uhh carpet where’d you get it?”

Sakura looked down at the scrubby fibers that were perhaps once off-white but had become an indeterminate color after years of spills and different tenant’s feet. She wrinkled her nose.

“That’s the worst attempt at changing the subject I’ve ever heard. Did you guys fight again?”

Relief broke over his face. “So you haven’t talked to him?”

“No, I was actually going to head over there after church but SOMEBODY broke into my apartment.”

She sat Naruto down on the toilet seat to make space for the two of them in her painfully cramped bathroom. Her medicine cabinet was still well-stocked with hydrogen peroxide from the time she almost let Ino pierce her ears.

_Disinfection’s probably a good place to start. Who knows where he’s been since he left the motel? Which in and of itself is not exactly a sterile environment. I have alcohol pads too but those would sting too much…_

She got lost in the familiar cadence of her old textbooks; the blank, clinical text she’d spent night after night pouring over appeared on the back of her eyelids to guide her along. When she turned back to her patient, Naruto was staring at her with such quiet intensity that she nearly dropped her armful of supplies in the sink.

“Wh-why are you looking at me like that for?” The bare bulb overhead was too bright. No shadows to hide in. Sakura was suddenly aware of how close they were, how Naruto smelled sour and unwashed, that he hadn’t changed his clothes. Emotions flickered across his face faster than the weather changing on a humid summer day before finally settling on the eerie calm that came before a storm.

“You’ve been a really good friend to me, yanno?”

“Yes,” Sakura said cautiously, “and I don’t expect that to change anytime soon?” Her knuckles were turning white around the box of band-aids she was clutching.

_You sound like you’re saying goodbye._ The statement stuck to her tongue like peanut butter.

Naruto huffed through his nose. “God, I didn’t think this was gonna be that hard. I guess I better just come out and say it.”

_You’re leaving town. You’re an ex-con. The mafia’s on your ass._

“I’m gay.”

“What?” Sakura choked on the hysterical laughter that was bubbling up at the back of her throat. _That’s impossible._ The gays on MTV wore too-tight pants and lisped and flapped their hands. Naruto did none of those things. Nor was he the ruthless sexual predator the newscasters warned about. He was… Naruto. Goofy, dense, irascible, Naruto.

“Iwantedtotellyoubeforesasukedid,” he went on in a heedless rush. “Like, it sorta came up last night an’ I didn’t mean to tell him anything but I did and I don’t want you to hate me but that’s the truth. I’m sorry. Well I’m not because I can’t change it but I didn’t want you to find out like this and uh please don’t be mad, it’s not gonna change anything about us cuz I’m still the same guy and wouldja just say something because you’re freaking me out here.”

_Trucker’s Point. In the woods behind the gas station. There were rumors…_

“I don’t really know what to say,” Sakura admitted numbly. A horrible thought occurred to her.

_Blood._

Her stomach churned as she thought of the rusty stains still lurking under her fingernails. Reports of formerly healthy young men wasting away in hospital beds with no cure in sight flashed before her eyes. Gay young men. 

“You aren’t, you know, _sick_?”

Naruto flinched. “No,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “Do you think I’d do that to you guys?” He slumped back against the toilet tank and put his head in his hands.

“I don’t know what to think,” Sakura snapped. “How could you hide something like this from me? If Id’ve known…”

“You’d what?” Naruto was on his feet now, hands balled into fists. “You’d try to pretend I didn’t exist? You’d stop talking to me? Don’t kid yourself into thinking you’d try and help because I’ve seen the way people like me are treated in this town, and you’re nice ‘n everything but you aren’t brave enough to stop it,” he finished in a low, deadly voice.

“I-I-”

“Don’t bother, I’m leaving. See you at work tomorrow. Maybe.” He stalked out of the bathroom with a slight limp.

Sakura let the bandages fall to the floor with a soft thump. She stared at them numbly until she heard the front door slam shut. Only then did she start to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the hardest parts writing this fic for me is adjusting the characters' attitudes so that they would fit those of people living in a small town in the eighties (ie. not exactly progressive). Sakura's definitely got some learning to do (especially about her own orientation). I hope I've still managed to make everyone sympathetic. Tell me what you think!


	9. Punch

By the time Sasuke’s Monday evening shift rolled around, he could almost pretend the whole incident with Naruto was nothing more than an alcohol-fueled dream.

Almost.

The air was heavy with what promised to be another cold rain. Sasuke dug his reddened hands further into his pockets and tried to ignore the fact that his mouth still tasted like sand. The past weekend was a muddy haze of emotions he’d prefer not to examine.

_Stupid, shitty town._

He kicked out at a plastic bag blowing aimlessly down the road but it stuck to his foot and he was forced into an awkward bout of kicking to remove it. Fortunately the streets were deserted; the buildings huddled together in preparation for the storm. Sasuke wished he had enough money for another pack of cigarettes in spite of his dry mouth. Something to do with his hands.

He reached the diner just as the rain blew in. The cheerful tinkle of the bell above the door filled Sasuke with extra dread as Naruto’s piercing eyes swiveled to face him, then looked away.

He still looked like hell with the bruises on his cheek turning yellow around the edges and the cut above his eye starting to scab over, but the worst part was how his shoulders hunched to make him look smaller, hollowed out. Like he hadn’t slept since…

“You might as well go home. Nobody’s stopped in since Mr. Herkimer got his morning plate of eggs-over-easy with two sausages.” Ino was manning the register though her eyes darted from the door to Kakashi’s office to the magazine in her lap. Sasuke sincerely doubted their manager would care judging by the amount of time he spent holed up in the back, presumably reading porn, but decided not to mention it.

“When’s your birthday?” She asked as he slid behind the counter, studiously maneuvering around Naruto as he did so.

“Why?” He fixed Ino with a blank look.

“I want to see what crystal matches your horoscope. You’ve got all this negative energy around you and you should probably do something about that before you cloud the rest of us,” she sniffed.

Sasuke couldn’t tell if she was being sarcastic or not, but either way he didn’t dignify that with a response. He filled a mug from the coffeepot and took a gulp as he scanned the schedule for the day. It was hot enough to scorch the roof of his mouth and black enough to blow his taste buds into oblivion.

“Sakura should be here already,” Ino supplied over his shoulder, as if he couldn’t read the damn thing himself. The corners of her mouth turned down. “She’s never late.”

Naruto stiffened at that, and cleared his throat conspicuously.

_If you’re worried that I told her your dirty little secret, I kept my mouth shut. It’s not worth the effort._

“It’s a slow day,” Sasuke remarked, looking around the empty diner.

“GOD DAMNIT,” Shikamaru roared from the kitchen.

Ino shook her head. “Now you’ve done it.”

Shikamaru marched out. He pointed a spatula at Sasuke’s chest like an accusing finger.

“We WERE having a slow day, but you just cursed us. I was about to take a nice nap too,” he muttered darkly.

“I didn’t think you’d be the type to buy into superstitious bullshit,” Sasuke said with a pointed glance at Ino.

“It’s not superstition. One day I’m gonna start keeping records: number of folks who come in normally versus number of folks who come in after some jackass says ‘it’s a slow day.’ It’ll probably go over better than my fucking thesis.”

Shikamaru’s rant was interrupted as the bell abover the door jangled again as Sakura straggled in with her hair plastered to her head and mascara running down her face.

“Sorry, I, um the wind got my umbrella and by the time I got home to change and get a coat…” She trailed off. A small puddle gathered out at her feet as she shucked her bright yellow slicker.

“Sure,” Naruto snorted. His features contorted back into a feral snarl. “Can’t have you looking like a drowned rat for your precious _Sasuke_.”

“Th-that’s not true!” Sakura protested, her cheeks glowing like hot coals. “I was soaked,” she muttered hotly.

Naruto clicked his tongue, grabbed the mop and started scrubbing the floor with an intensity usually reserved for full-scale military operations.

Ino’s eyebrows climbed up her forehead. She mouthed _What the hell?_ at Sakura but the pink-haired woman was staring at her sodden shoes, blinking hard.

Shikamaru shrugged and mumbled what sounded like “troublesome,” before retreating back to the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

Big, fat droplets of rain slammed into the windows. The diner was filled with an electric tension, though Sasuke was pretty sure the weatherman hadn’t mentioned any thunderstorms. He shifted uncomfortably. The only sound came from the squelch of Naruto’s mop and the howl of the wind outside.

“Sakura was born March 28th so that means she’s an Aries,” Ino said with forced cheerfulness. “Your crystal is black onyx, ooh let’s see what that means!”

Sasuke had seen Naruto and Sakura fight before; in fact they butted heads on a daily basis- Naruto would say something moronic or cheeky, Sakura would screech and maybe smack him on the back of the head, he’d laugh, and she’d fold her arms while fighting a smile. It was familiar, nigh expected by the rest. They were like siblings squabbling over whose turn it was to do the dishes after dinner.

This was different.

“It’ll help clarify your thoughts, improve reasoning, and even boost your confidence. Oh my god, that’s so perfect for you. I always say if you were just a little more assertive…”

He expected Sakura to pinch the bridge of her nose and launch into an explanation of why Ino’s crystal theory was a bunch of bullshit, but she merely shrugged and finished tying her apron. Her eyes never left Naruto.

_What happened between them? Is this my fault? I haven’t even spoken to either one of them since that day._

“Massage it on your face for best effects. You don’t know Sasuke’s birthday, do you? He won’t play along.”

“Ino, do you think you could shut the hell up for five seconds?” Naruto growled.

“Don’t you dare talk to her that way!” Sakura burst out.

“I can talk however I want. Or am I ‘offending’ you?” He let the mop slide to the floor with a clatter as he made sarcastic air quotes.

Sakura’s mouth snapped shut, her lips pressed together going white with fury.

“If you have a problem with me that’s fine but leave Ino alone,” her voice wobbled dangerously.

Naruto wavered. He stepped forward like he was about to apologize but she turned her back.

“You know, I don’t think anyone’s going to show up in this weather.” Everyone in the diner jumped three feet in the air as Kakashi stuck his head outside the office.

“Why don’t you all take the afternoon off?” He leaned languidly against the door frame, a half-smile on his lips, but there was just enough steel behind it to make Sasuke wonder if he’d been listening to them the whole time.

“Done.” Shikamaru dropped what sounded like a frying pan, grabbed Ino’s hand, and tugged her out towards his car faster than Sasuke had ever seen him move.

_Gross._

“Are you sure Kakashi? What if a tour bus gets stranded and needs somewhere to feed everyone?” Sakura protested, but she was already toying with her apron strings. She wiped a hasty hand across her eyes and smiled weakly.

His eye twinkled. “I think I’ll chance the potential loss over the very real loss I’m suffering right now, paying all of you to stand around chatting.”

“Thank you,” Sakura said softly. She looked at Sasuke and jerked her head towards the door, but he hesitated long enough for her to give up and brave the elements alone. Naruto snorted through his nose and followed a few minutes later. He left the mop lying on the floor.

Sasuke stared after them bleakly. Another aimless evening of station-surfing the radio awaited him back at the motel.

“Ahhh the air in here feels less tense already,” Kakashi mused as he stretched out his back with an unsettling _crack._ He caught sight of Sasuke lingering by the counter.

“You don’t seem as excited as the others,” he said drily.

“I just lost my hours for today. I need to pay rent somehow,” Sasuke snapped.

“Mm fair enough. Tell you what, why don’t you help me batten down this place for the storm and I’ll call it a day’s work.”

“I’m missing out on any tips I’d earn as well,” Sasuke folded his arms protectively in front of himself.

“I’ll give you a lift home when we’re finished. And buy you a beer on the way,” Kakashi countered with a finality that told Sasuke to stop hedging his bets.

“Fine.”

“Excellent!” The white-haired man clapped his hands together. “Should be done soon enough with two people. We need to cover all the odds and ends out back with tarps so they don’t blow away, shut off all the power so we don’t get a surge, make sure the kitchen’s tidy, lock up the windows… Looks like you all managed to keep the dining area clean so we don’t need to worry about that.”

Sasuke trailed behind him as he bustled about with more speed than he’d ever seen him move, occasionally reaching out to lovingly straighten the label on a bottle of spices, or wipe a few crumbs off the counter. Despite his laziness and overall lack of enthusiasm, Shikamaru kept a very clean kitchen.

“So, how’ve you been getting along with the rest of the crew?” he asked with a sly, cutting glance.

“I don’t know what’s going on between Sakura and Naruto if that’s what you’re asking.”

Kakashi didn’t make any further attempts at conversation while they worked, which suited Sasuke just fine.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, Sasuke was shivering inside Kakashi’s ancient pickup truck. He tried and failed to discreetly wring out his shirt. The wind had picked up again and the two had spent most of their time fighting with the tarps out in the deluge.

_I first met Orochimaru like this._

A tingle crept down his spine. He could almost hear that sibilant voice floating over from the darkened driver’s side. _“You seem like an intelligent boy, Sasuke. I could use you on my crew. I think you would perform…excellently.”_

But Kakashi, who was in an equally soaked state, hummed happily to himself as he coaxed the engine to turn over.

They bounced down the road to Bedford Heights’ main drag, but instead of stopping at Lou’s Bar and Restaurant, they turned off onto a twisty side street that headed directly into the forest. Sasuke watched as the promise of warmth and food disappeared along with the lights.

“I thought-”

“We’re almost there,” Kakashi remarked, unfazed as the truck shuddered violently over a large log in its path.

_Maybe Danzo won’t get me after all. I’ll be murdered by a garden variety serial killer in the middle of bumfuck nowhere._

Sasuke tightened his grip on the door handle as his eyes roved the cabin in search of something he could use as a weapon. If he could casually look through the glove compartment…

“Here we are!” Kakashi announced cheerfully. They had parked in front of what could favorably be described as a wooden shack. The roof leaned heavily to the right, giving the entire place the appearance of a tired old man. A few motor cycles were scattered about the clearing that served as a parking lot.

“Welcome to One-Eyed Jack’s.”

Sasuke scrutinized him for any trace of sarcasm or irony, but the man seemed sincere. Kakashi grinned and tapped his eyepatch.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a requirement.”

The inside of the bar was just as dingy as the outside would suggest. A rusty old Jukebox sat in the corner, ignored by the men clustered around a lone pool table. The lights flickered occasionally, which gave Sasuke the idea he was walking right into a horror movie.

_Act like you belong here,_ he scolded himself as one of the grizzled bikers swiveled around to appraise them with a grunt. Sasuke stared back coolly until the other man shrugged and returned to his game. The damp, moldy smell in the air reminded him of countless nights in similarly shady back rooms, waiting for Orochimaru to finish the transaction so he could go home and sleep for a few hours before class.

“…Yeah some little blond queer over by the motel.”

Sasuke stiffened as he picked up on their low conversation. A man with a squashed “Ward Trucking” cap on his head snickered.

“You shoulda seen the look on his face when Eddie an’ the boys went after him. Never saw it coming.”

_They could’ve killed him. He wasn’t hurting anybody._

Sasuke clenched his fists tight against an anger that left him shaking.

_What’re you getting all self-righteous for anyways? Weren’t you going to do the same thing?_ He thought. At the same time, a smaller voice insisted, _“not like that. Naruto may be a pain but he doesn’t deserve-”_

“We’ll know what to do if that little slut comes begging around Trucker’s Point again.” The man made a slicing motion across his throat. Laughter all around.

There were four of them. Trucker Hat was leaning with one hand against the table while the bearded guy next to him lined up his next shot. Another man slouched on a stool holding a beer. The last one had his back turned to Sasuke, pool cue tucked loosely under his arm.

In one smooth motion, Sasuke slid the cue free and cracked its owner over the head before he even had time to turn around. He was rewarded with an outraged yelp. The man twisted around to try and grab him, but Sasuke used the group’s momentary confusion to his advantage to slip under his arms and barrel straight into the stool, knocking Beer Can off balance.

Behind him he heard Kakashi hiss in annoyance, no doubt guilty by association. Unfortunately, Trucker Hat and his buddy had overcome their shock and were attempting to box Sasuke into a corner by circling around the pool table. He held the cue aloft like a weapon and managed to clip Beard in the temple when he got too close. This gave Trucker Hat an opening to aim a vicious kick at his side, which dropped him to his knees.

Sasuke kept his breathing steady like his father had told him to, ignoring the pain in his ribs. Without preamble, he launched forward and hooked Trucker Hat behind his legs. The man cursed as he toppled backwards. The momentum drove his back into the corner of the pool table and the breath was knocked out of him in a rush.

Sasuke leapt to his feet, just in time to duck a blow from Beard. The other man snarled and wiped at the blood that was flowing freely down his cheek. Kakashi was still grappling with the biggest one. Sasuke allowed himself a small smirk of satisfaction until he found his arms pinned behind his back in a bone-crushing grip.

_Fuck. Forgot about Beer Can._

Beard hauled back and stars exploded behind his eye. Distantly, he heard someone cry out. The hands holding him fell away. Sasuke shook his head to clear the dark fog that was attempting to obscure his vision.

The man Kakashi had been fighting had turned the color of sour milk. He clutched an arm that at first glance appeared to have sprouted a new wrist joint. A dull shard of bone poked through a sleeve saturated with blood.

“I suggest you all leave,” Kakashi said mildly. “Wouldn’t want to cause any more of a fuss. Also, I think your friend here might need to see a doctor.” Sasuke caught sight of a snarling bulldog tattoo on the inside of his bicep as he wiped his brow, which hardly seemed necessary as he hadn’t even broken a sweat.

A loud click over to his right and Sasuke found himself staring at the barrel of a battered but very serviceable shotgun wielded by a short, spiky-haired man behind the bar.  

“And if you _don’t_ decide to leave right now, I’ll blow you out myself,” he growled between scarred lips. “I don’t want to see your kind around here again, got it?”

_Cheesy._

But the group was cowed enough to collect their fallen comrade and head for the exit. Someone spat on the floor, and then the bar was empty, save for the three of them.

“Two beers please,” Kakashi said with forced nonchalance as Sasuke sank into a seat at the bar. “And something cold for his face.”

Sasuke probed gingerly from his cheekbone to the area just above his left eyebrow. It was already starting to swell.

_Hope I’ll be able to see out of it tomorrow._

“Long time no see, bastard,” the bartender sniffed. “Figured you’d bring trouble around here. Who’s the kid?” He turned to his shelf of bottles as if there wasn’t a pool of blood congealing on the floor, or a busted stool sitting in the corner.

Sasuke bristled but Kakashi cut in before he could answer.

“New busser up at the Double R. He hasn’t been in town too long.” He placed his elbows up on the hardwood like they were discussing the weather.

“He doesn’t fight like a busser.” The bartender said with a hint of amusement as he handed Sasuke some ice cubes wrapped in a rag. His hand was stiff and clumsy; fingers frozen in place by cracked, discolored skin.

Kakashi shot him a sidelong glance. “Yes, he’s full of surprises.”

 The man chuckled and turned to Kakashi. “I can see why you like him.” 

Sasuke wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not, so he took a quick swallow of his drink.

“I didn’t know you were in the Marines,” he said, pointing at the tattoo on Kakashi’s bicep.

_Though I can’t say I’m surprised, you strange motherfucker._

Kakashi looked startled for a moment, then nodded. “Yup. ‘Nam.” He jerked a thumb at the bartender. “Tobi and I were in the same unit actually, wound up out here when our service was up. Do you have family in the military? It’s not something a civilian would necessarily recognize right off the bat.”

“You could say that,” Sasuke grimaced, then moodily turned back to his beer.

  _Since when did you become defender of Naruto’s honor? Last time you were giving him black eyes, not taking them for him._

That train of thought brought him back around to the whole inscrutable mess between Naruto and Sakura, which made the pain behind his eyes worse.

_Leave it alone. It’s not your business, and it’s definitely not your problem to fix. This is what happens when you go around trying to connect with people- your life gets messier._

Kakashi cleared his throat pointedly. “Tobi asked you where you’re from.”

“Why does it matter?”

“Well it makes for polite conversation, for one,” Kakashi rolled his visible eye while Tobi struggled to keep a straight face. “I’ll start: I’m from many places. My family moved around a lot when I was young.”

_Oh that’s specific._

“I’m Bedford Falls born and raised,” Tobi added.

“Boston.”

“Oooh city boy!” The bartender’s face lit up. “What brings you all the way out here?”

_See? Messy._

“I came for a drink, not a goddamn interrogation.” Sasuke set his half-finished bottle down on the bar and turned to leave, but Kakashi caught his wrist before he had a chance to stuff his hands in his pockets.

“Come on now, how bad could it really be?” His tone was light but that hand that grabbed him was steely-cold. “We’re a couple dirty old military dogs, I’m sure we’ve heard it before.”

Tobi nodded in a painfully earnest way that reminded him of Naruto.

“I needed a change of scenery. School wasn’t working out, and I didn’t feel like relying on my parents anymore,” Sasuke said, blandly as possible. _Itachi always said the best lies have a kernel of truth in them._

“You were right about my family, by the way,” he went on, struck by inspiration. The more details he added, the more plausible the story would seem. Leaving out the whole business with Orochimaru still left him with plenty of material to work with. “Hardcore Army stretching back as far as anyone can remember. My dad’s a retired general, same as my grandfather. My brother graduated top-rank at West Point.”

Tobi whistled. “That’s a lotta pressure.”

“I didn’t see the point of trailing along in someone’s footsteps that I’d never be able to fill,” Sasuke picked at the label, his voice growing increasingly bitter. “I don’t need to rely on their stupid legacy.” He settled back onto the stool with a glare at his audience and braced for more questions, but Kakashi and Tobi seemed to take his answer in stride and went on to reminiscences that Sasuke promptly tuned out. The adrenaline hadn’t entirely worn off from the fight and he was left with an angry jitteriness that almost made him wish Naruto was there so he’d have an excuse to argue.

 

* * *

 

His head started to swim after his second beer, thanks to the knocks he’d taken earlier. A gust of wind rattled the windows but Kakashi and Tobi were locked in deep conversation, their foreheads almost touching. Sasuke edged his way towards the door rather than ask for a ride home. He could use some time to clear his thoughts anyway.


	10. Read Between the Lines

Sure enough, Ino called shortly after 10 p.m. Just enough time to get to Shikamaru’s place from the diner, order takeout, watch his battered copy of The Evil Dead, and indulge in a decent half hour of sexual activity before he fell asleep, by Sakura’s calculation.

“What do you want? I was about to go to bed,” she lied. She’d put on her bunny slippers and pajamas in a half-hearted attempt to fool her body into sleep, but she’d known this conversation was going to happen, dreaded it ever since Naruto had stormed off into the rain.

Ino scoffed. “Are you seriously going to pretend that nothing happened?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Sakura said weakly.

“You. And Naruto. Having a shit fit in the middle of the diner. Ring any bells?”

“I guess we were both just having an off day. Look, I’m really tired and-”

“Wait.” Sakura could picture Ino on the other end, her eyes lighting up as she struggled to keep her voice low through the excitement. _Shikamaru must be passed out on the couch nearby._

“Did something _happen_ between you two? Like, romantically? I know you were saying that you thought he might ask you out and you weren’t sure- holy shit did he? Did you turn him down? Or did you say yes and he got mad that you didn’t want to go public right away?”

Sakura hated how excited Ino sounded at the prospect of her having a boyfriend. Hated that she couldn’t ask her for advice, or even tell her the truth. She slid down against the kitchen cabinets, cursing the phone cord that couldn’t even reach the armchair in the living room five feet away.

“No, nothing like that! Everything’s normal. I was wet, and cold, and in a bad mood.”

“I saw the way he looked at you when you walked in.” Ino’s tone was shifting from playful to accusatory. “I thought he was gonna walk off right then and there. You don’t have to hide anything from me. God, it can’t be any worse than the time you pissed your pants before the sixth grade talent show.”

Sakura rubbed her temples. “It’s not like that, I swear.”

“Then what is it? I can tell when something’s up with you, okay? And I can tell that you’re upset. Whatever’s bothering you, I can help. I’m not gonna judge you or anything,” she pleaded.

_If I told you, Naruto’d never trust me again. Hell, I don’t know if I can fix things as they are. I’ve already screwed up enough, please don’t make this any harder than it is._

“Ino, I-I think you’re over-reacting.”   

“Fine. Keep me in the dark. Just don’t come crying to me when whatever it is bites you in the ass,” she snarled. The line went dead.

Sakura sat on the floor and listened to the dial tone until it became the white noise in her head.

_Way to go, girl,_ she thought numbly, then threw the receiver against the wall.

 

* * *

 

Sakura clung to the faint hope that maybe Ino would forget about the whole mess, or at least forgive her for it, but the next day at work all Sakura received were sideways glares and pointed sniffs. Shikamaru shrugged apologetically as if to say “beats me” and even Sasuke regarded her with a long, inscrutable gaze that would have once sent her heart into spasms of excitement but now only irritated her further.   Naruto didn’t bother to show up at all. She wondered if the impressive bruising around Sasuke’s eye had anything to do with that, or if she was the only one to blame.

Since they were unexpectedly short-staffed, Sakura had an excuse not to talk to anyone and threw herself into her work instead. The day passed sluggishly without any good-natured banter, or even one of Naruto’s dumb pranks. By the time she caught a man peering down her blouse as she bent over to give him his check, she was about ready to scream. Or burst into tears. She wasn’t sure which would come out if she opened her mouth.

“I’m leaving, see you guys tomorrow,” she murmured to the backs of her friends’ heads, and was largely ignored over the bustle.

Sakura hugged her elbows to her sides as she hurried back into town before the levee inside her broke. In an attempt to stem her rising panic, she walked. It was a technique she’d used since she was little, when kids at school used to bully her. Before Ino stepped in. The physicality helped take her mind off the emotions swirling inside her, and allowed her to pick them out one by one for examination.

_First things first, what do I do about Naruto?_ She’d hurt him deeply, that much was clear. But how could she fix it?

_How should I know how to react when he drops a bomb on me like that? Obviously he had to work up the courage to tell me he was gay and I made it seem like that was somehow his fault in the heat of the moment, which was wrong, but more importantly he’s afraid that I won’t understand him. Which I don’t,_ she admitted ruefully to herself.

_And then he said that I wouldn’t have the courage to stand up for him._ Sakura clenched her fist. _I don’t even have the courage to stand up for myself half the time, but if that’s what it takes to earn his trust back, I don’t really have a choice now, do I? But I still don’t know the first thing about being gay!_

The answer was so glaringly obvious that Sakura stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk, much to the dismay of the woman pushing a baby carriage behind her.

_Why didn’t I think of that before?_

Sakura abruptly changed course and headed for the bluff at the very edge where town devolved into forest, home of the Sheffield County Library. 

 

* * *

 

The warm brown stone building had changed very little over the years. There were new paper mache decorations from the next generation of enterprising elementary students, and the stiff plastic chairs in the children’s section had been replaced with colorful bean bags but the yellowing posters, faux-wood shelving, and most importantly, the comforting smell of old books remained.

Sakura paused next to a colorful display that tracked the summer reading competition, which had ended a full month ago. She had been the reigning champion from first through fifth grade, a fact her parents were still proud enough to spout to anyone who’d listen.

_They never realized how lonely I was,_ she thought with a pang. _All those sunny days spent indoors with no one to play with._

The spot behind the card catalogue had been her Crying Corner. Out of site from the librarian as well as most patrons if she scrunched down enough, it was the perfect place to hide before someone could call her a baby or make fun of her crooked bangs because her mom still cut them.

_Where I first met Ino._

Today Sakura had a different mission. She strode to the back, to the adult non-fiction section, and found a placard reading “Gender and Sexuality.” Half a shelf’s worth of books.

_Is that all?_

It only took her about half an hour to pick through the paltry selection. Most of the covers showed perky housewives cooking meals while their husbands smoked cigars from an armchair, but there was one copy boldly titled “The Joy of Gay Sex.” Sakura flipped through it, before snapping it shut with a gasp and a nervous glance around to make sure no one was reading over her shoulder. There were pictures! She took a few deep breaths to cool her heated cheeks. Scandalous, but probably the only informative book in the whole lot.

_But how am I supposed to get out of here with it?_  Sakura thought with sudden dread. Mrs. Kirsh, the librarian, knew her, knew her parents. If she was seen checking out something with that title, people would talk. Her stomach clenched. She peered over the top of the shelf. Mrs. Kirsh was busy filing with her back turned. A mother was reading to her son, and a harried-looking teen was paging through an encyclopedia. The coast was clear. Before she could stop herself, Sakura shoved “The Joy of Gay Sex” into her purse.

_Okay but if I leave empty-handed after all this time, I’ll look suspicious._ Her eye fell an unassuming book shoved all the way back into the shelf, so far she hadn’t seen it earlier.

_“The Well of Loneliness.” Ironic and also not suspicious. Doesn’t seem like it has anything to do with sex, probably got put back in the wrong place._

Sakura approached the check-out desk with her heart thudding in her ears. Mrs. Kirsh bustled over with a friendly smile.

“Hello dear! It’s been a while hasn’t it? How’s your mother doing?”

“Fine, thanks,” Sakura answered robotically as she held out the book for scanning.

“Are you feeling alright? You’re awfully red.”

“Um yes fine, completely. It’s err, very hot outside.”

Mrs. Kirsh raised an eyebrow. The storm had left a permanent chill hanging over Bedford Falls that was unlikely to dissipate until Mid-April at the earliest. Sakura mentally kicked herself for being so obvious.

“Sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. I might go back to school,” she lied, but Mrs. Kirsh congratulated her and let her go on her way without another word. Sakura forced herself to walk with slow, measured steps.

_Don’t run, don’t run. Everything’s normal. Everything’s fine. Smile at that nice lady and her cute kid. Good, they won’t suspect you have gay porn in your bag._

When she got outside the library, she sank down to her knees right in the parking lot, weak with relief.

 

* * *

 

Sakura spent the rest of the week pretending she didn’t exist. She came into work, performed her job in a stiff, perfunctory way, with as little human contact as possible, then left on her own. Ino didn’t try to speak with her, and she pretended she was okay with that. Naruto cast jittery glances her way, and kept chewing his lip like he wanted to say something but she always moved on to another task before he got the chance, because if he told her their friendship was over, she’d snap. The rest of the crew gave her a wide berth and treated her with a wariness usually reserved for unfamiliar dogs, or deserted alleys late at night.

Sakura read on her time off, but kept getting distracted by her own sense of urgency. She could feel the minutes sliding down her back, each one driving a wedge further between her and the people she loved. More than once, the temptation to tell Ino and ask her for advice grew so strong that she had to shout her questions to an empty apartment.

Sleep was hard. Waking up was harder. Sakura told Kakashi the puffiness under her eyes was allergies. No, she hadn’t been crying in the storeroom.

“The Joys of Gay Sex” might have been useful if she’d been looking for details on how men might have sex with other men, but did not offer any tips on how a straight girl could help her gay friend.

_Ino would probably try to frame this and hang it up in her room,_ she thought after a particularly graphic chapter showing step-by-step instructions for various positions.

 

* * *

 

“The Well of Loneliness” turned out to be about a lesbian crossdresser who fell in love with a female ambulance driver during World War I. Sakura was momentarily disoriented at the thought of homosexuals (or “inverts” as they were referred to in the novel) existing back then, let alone having their own nightlife culture. She found herself longing for everything to work out between the two romantic leads, but eventually everything fell apart and the novel ended with the plea “Give us the right to our existence!”

Sakura was left feeling like just one more sad, hopeless person in a long, long line of sad, hopeless people. She snuck “The Joys of Gay Sex” back onto its shelf at the library but kept “The Well of Loneliness” as a guest to her pity-party.

 

* * *

 

She had another dream about Ino that night. This time they were wearing fringy flapper dresses, sitting outside at a café in Paris and smoking cigarettes from long, delicate holders. Ino smiled with rouged lips and Sakura felt her stomach flop over. She reached across the table for her hand, but at that moment an explosion ripped through the streets in a fiery flash.

Sakura was thrown back, the café disintegrating under the force of the blast. Rubble rained down on her head, but Ino was nowhere to be seen. The flames vanished, leaving behind a grimy, alien wasteland. A soldier walked by, rifle slung over his shoulder.

“Have you seen my friend?” Sakura cried, but he merely grunted at her in an unfamiliar language, and motioned for her to stand aside. Her feet were frozen in place. The soldier grew angry.

“No, you don’t understand I _can’t_ move, I’m sorry please don’t-”

He raised his weapon and Sakura woke with a start. She could barely make out the hands of the clock on her nightstand in the grey pre-dawn light.

_No use going back to sleep now._

She untangled her legs from the blankets and shivered into her work uniform, even though her shift didn’t start for hours. She needed to stay busy, needed a distraction.

_“I’ve started this new aerobics regimen. I rise promptly at five-thirty every morning to stretch. Then, I bike over to the lake and-”_

Sakura squinted back at the clock. She could probably still make it if she walked quickly. She nodded once to herself before throwing in a coat and taking the path that would lead to Lake Snoqualmie.

 

* * *

 

Lee was deep into a set of squats at the water’s edge when she came upon him, breath huffing in pale clouds. He was so focused that he didn’t notice her presence until she gave an awkward little cough.

“Oh! Sakura I did not expect to find you here. I’m afraid if you wished to join me for training then you have not brought the proper attire.”

“No, it’s not that. I was actually wondering if um, you’d like to get a cup of coffee with me? Maybe some breakfast?” The words tasted like defeat on her tongue, ashy as the slightly burned toast she was no longer hungry for.

The back of Lee’s neck flushed red. “I-it would be an honor!” He bowed. “I will finish my routine in double-time so as not to keep you waiting!” He burst into a flurry of activity, gangly limbs flailing in an ungainly aerobic dance.

Sakura looked down at the damp pebbles and prodded one with her foot. If she focused hard enough, she could pretend that the hot feeling rising inside of her wasn’t shame.

_Why are you doing this to yourself? To him? We’ve been through this before, girl. If the chemestry’s not there, it’ll never work._ Her inner self sounded a lot like Ino this morning.

Lee bounded up to her, sweaty and excited. Sakura allowed him to take her arm as he lead her back into town, chattering the whole way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it takes me forever to reply to comments because I'm so flattered and I don't know what to say but I appreciate them SO MUCH.


	11. Starry Night

As much as Sasuke despised everything about Bedford Falls- from its narrow-minded residents to the appalling lack of take-out Chinese places, he couldn’t deny the place had scenic value. Boston was always so crowded. No matter the time of day, people were always pressing in around him, creating a wall of distracting noise he couldn’t fully escape. Here, if he got up early or stayed up late enough, he could pretend he was the last person in existence. It was oddly comforting.

He lit a cigarette as he watched the sun rise over the docks. A solitary seagull patrolled the boardwalk, looking for leftover bits of fish. The last time he’d felt this particular brand of quiet had been over a year ago, on the rooftop of his apartment. It was after his first meeting with Orochimaru, coming home after a sleepless night but still buzzing with nerves and a vague sense of promise for what the future held. Karin, Juugo, and Suigetsu had trailed up after him without a word. Someone (probably Suigetsu) produced a bottle of wine and they’d passed it around, sans cups. As the city slowly awoke beneath them, it felt like the whole world had been unfolding at their feet.

_What a crock of shit._

Sasuke ground the butt out with his heel. He turned to head back to the motel when the unmistakable pink of Sakura’s hair caught his eye. He stepped behind a large, damp crate, and sure enough she passed by a few minutes later with the Eyebrow Kid clinging to her elbow. He was prattling on about some new meditation technique that was sure to increase his virility while Sakura nodded along in a distracted way.

In spite of himself, Sasuke was curious. There weren’t enough people around to tail them without being obvious so Sasuke waited until the sound of their footsteps receded before following along nonchalantly in the direction they’d been going.

_“People won’t notice you if you act like you belong there. The best place to hide is in plain sight. People are so unobservant; they see only what they want to, and nothing more. I can help you see underneath the surface.”_

He shivered. Orochimaru had shown him what was underneath the surface; all the way down to the maggot-riddled core. But he’d be easier to hate if he hadn’t so often been right.

Sasuke caught up to Sakura and Lee about a block later, just in time to see them duck into a “family owned and operated” restaurant with a green awning. There was a newspaper stand on the corner. He grabbed a paper and pretended to rifle through the pages while peering over the top through restaurant’s large, plate-glass windows.

_Why do you care anyways?_       

 Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Sakura was looking paler every day. That she sometimes came back from her breaks sniffling. That as much as he wanted to avoid getting attached to these people, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

_This guy seems like a total goober though. Wasn’t he the one Sakura was trying to avoid when we went up to the falls?_

Sasuke shuffled the paper like he was in the process of turning the page. Sakura was sitting very stiff and still, her arm draped limply over Lee’s, who was busy studying the menu. For a second their eyes locked. She turned beet red and bit her lip. Sasuke shoved some change at the stand’s owner and walked off quickly with the newspaper under his arm.

_It’s none of your business. Sakura can date whoever she wants to._

He tried to shrug off the feeling that something was wrong.

_She probably doesn’t want to hear from me anyways. It’s not like I’ve tried to be nice to her._

Somewhere, Karin was rolling her eyes. Sasuke sought out a bench next to the dry cleaners. Maybe she’d walk past once the date was over and he could bring it up before they had to work together.

_Did she have a crush on Naruto? Is this her way of getting back at him?_

Sasuke shook his head and decided to read the paper for real this time, before he over-thought the situation and turned his life into a soap opera. The staff of The Bedford Valley Times was clearly amateur, judging by the uneven alignment of some of the text and photographs. The front page news was something about a record-breaking squash.

The headlines ran emptily through his head until a picture on the fourth page caught his attention. It was grainy, no doubt copied several times before it went to print, but the sallow-faced man with the crooked grin was too familiar. His gave flicked to the title.

**East Coast Drug Kingpin Orochimaru “The Snake” Found Dead**

The newspaper crackled as Sasuke tightened his grip to the point where he was tearing holes in either side. His focus jumped around the article, but certain phrases stood out.

“No leads… Drug activity… Evidence of torture…Police commissioner Danzo investigating…”

_Fuck._

Sasuke barely remembered getting back to the motel. His head was buzzing with too many _how’s_  and _what-ifs_ to make sense of where he was going. Orochimaru. Dead. A small part of him was relieved. The way the man had oozed his way through Boston’s underbelly, relishing in the vile and depraved had always sent warning shivers from the base of his spine, though not enough to stop him from following along. He knew the drugs had been the least of Orochimaru’s trade, not that those other dealings were ever spoken of, or even acknowledged by his other henchmen.

  _Danzo must’ve gotten to him first, made it look like a rival gang hit._ Sasuke bit the pad of his thumb as he paced the narrow confines of his room, which only seemed to grow more suffocating with each round. The newspaper was spread out across the bed like a complicated map.

_And the only reason Danzo would’ve killed him was if he’d gotten any information he wanted. So he must have my name by now, but nobody knows where I’ve gone and I didn’t leave a trail…_

Sasuke halted in his tracks. _Including my parents. It’d be simple enough for Danzo to drop by on the pretense of the investigation. They’d tell him I was away at school but that’d be easy enough to double check._ He pictured himself splashed across the covers of a thousand magazines. “Have You Seen This Man?”

The article made no mention of any other bodies, so he had to assume that Karin, Suitetsu, and Juugo were safe for the time being. Sasuke threw his backpack on the bed and began shoveling clothes into it.

_Time to move. I’ll have to start over again and it’ll be a pain in the ass but it can’t be helped. I’ve already stayed here too long._

His fingers grazed the long, black pants he wore to work. His shift was supposed to start soon. Everyone at the diner would be mad if he didn’t show up, but how long would it take for that irritation to turn to worry? The next day it happened, Sakura would frown, the little crease between her eyes deepening, Kakashi would shake his head, and even Naruto might (after much hollering and foot-stomping), chew on his hangnails and come up with far-fetched solutions.

_If they went to the police, that’d just draw more attention to the whole situation. I’d hand Danzo my whereabouts on a silver platter. Not to mention that running away’d basically be an admission of guilt._

Sasuke fished the pants out of the tangle of cloth and let his half-filled backpack slide onto the floor. No use rushing headlong into the unknown. No doubt the diner would be slow enough that he could come up with a plan and work at the same time.

 

* * *

 

Unfortunately, conditions at the Double R had, if anything, worsened over time. Ever since the scuffle at One-Eyed Jack’s Kakashi had been hovering around like a second shadow.  He was certainly subtle about it, but Sasuke noticed that he always seemed to wander out of his office during his shifts, book in hand. Kakashi would flick through the pages but his eye would invariably track Sasuke across the diner.  

And Kakashi wasn’t the only one acting strangely- Sakura had grown increasingly pale and wan, in direct proportion to Ino’s towering irritability. Most of their time was spent whisper-arguing as they passed plates back and forth through the service window. As for Naruto, Sasuke had at first reveled in the fact that he was getting ignored, but soon tired of the constant, grinding silence.

 This morning, he passed Lee on his way in. He was busy blowing goodbye kisses through the storefront, that Sakura seemed to be pointedly ignoring behind the register.

“What do you see in that guy anyway?” Sasuke asked once he’d settled down at the counter for a pre-shift cup of coffee. 

Sakura bristled. “N-none of your business!” she snapped, whisking away a crumb covered plate and dumping it in the bus bin with such force that Sasuke was surprised it didn’t shatter.

“And if you don’t _mind_ , I’d rather you not mention it to anyone else.”

Sasuke shrugged. No one had ever accused him of being the office gossip. Besides, he had bigger things to worry about. He couldn’t shake the feeling someone was watching him. Someone other than Kakashi, who was leaning against the door to the manager’s office, flicking idly through the pages of his book.

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled, but the only other occupants of the diner were old Mr. Drummond drinking his coffee, and Naruto scraping a stubborn bit of ketchup off a table.

_Don’t be stupid, Danzo’s not waiting in the bushes to jump out at you._

That didn’t stop him sweating.

 

* * *

 

As his shift finally limped to the finish line, Sasuke hung back while his co-workers made a beeline for the exit.

“Is there something I can help you with?” Kakashi had noticed his hesitation over the threshold.

“Could I use your phone?” Sasuke stared fixedly at the scuffed linoleum tile.

To his surprise, Kakashi didn’t question why he didn’t just use the one at the motel or wonder why he had the sudden, burning desire to call someone when he’d never mentioned any friends or family outside of Bedford Falls. He merely jerked his thumb at the manager’s office and busied himself with inspecting the kitchen.

Sasuke carefully closed the door behind him, and glared at the black telephone with trepidation. The phone sat innocently on the desk. He dialed the number and held his breath, praying no one would pick up on the other end.

“Hello?” The hum of the dishwasher in the background. He could picture his mother leaning on the kitchen counter, light filtering in through the large bay windows, one hand cupped underneath her chin, a strand of dark hair in front of her eyes.

“Hey mom.”

“Sasuke! I haven’t heard from you in so long. Is everything alright? Doing well in your classes?” Her voice was strained with concern.

“Yeah, fine,” he muttered. A stab of guilt shot through him but he pressed on. “Listen, I’m going on a backpacking trip with friends for a few weeks. You won’t be able to get a hold of me so don’t worry, okay?”

“I-I didn’t realize you liked camping so much. You always used to complain when your father and I took you and Itachi out to Cape Ann,” she laughed softly but there was a tense undercurrent to it. “I’m glad you finally met some people. I was getting worried that you’d be lonely. As long as this trip won’t interfere with your schoolwork…”

“It won’t.”

“Are you sure everything’s okay, sweetheart? You didn’t come home for your father’s birthday. Even Itachi flew all the way out- he wanted to see you!”

Sasuke let out an involuntary hiss. “I’ve been busy with class, that’s all. That’s why I’m taking this break. Thought it might be good to get away from everything for a while.”

“That sounds like a great idea!” His mother sounded genuinely relieved for the first time. “I know you put so much pressure on yourself, but I’m sure you’re doing very well. You’re father and I so are proud of you. But remember it’s healthy to get out and have fun every now and then. You won’t be young forever!”

“Thanks mom. I need to get going now. I-I love you. Tell dad I said ‘hi’,” he said in an oddly strangled voice.

“Okay, have fun on your trip. I love you too, honey.”

Sasuke replaced the receiver with a heavy hand. _It’s over._ He tried to swallow past the golf ball in his throat and took a few shaky breaths. _This is for the best._ He schooled his expression into one of frank disinterest before he left the office, but was glad when Kakashi was nowhere to be seen.

 

* * *

 

“You lied.”

Sasuke flinched violently with a loud curse. Naruto was leaning up against the corner of the diner, cigarette dangling from his lips. The window in Kakashi’s office was open a crack.

“I don’t see why that’s any of your goddamn business.” His heart was still galloping out of control in his chest. _I should’ve been more thourough when I checked the premises. Stupid shit like that’ll get me killed._

“This is about that guy hunting your ass isn’t it?” Naruto flicked ash at his feet and grimaced.

Sasuke scoffed in reply but couldn’t turn away fast enough. The blond man closed the distance between them, peering into his face.

“I wanna know what’s going on.” The scent of exhaled tobacco rolled over them.

“Why? It doesn’t concern you,” Sasuke said, tight-lipped. He started walking, though he had no reservations that Naruto would give up so easily. Sure enough, he followed in lockstep. Naruto’s brows knit together and he appeared to argue with himself for a moment, face contorting into a series of frowns and pursed lips.

“You didn’t tell anyone about me.”

“So?” Sasuke was fast losing patience with this conversation. _Now’s not the time for talking, I need to do something, act fast, plan. I need to go back over my journey here. Make sure there aren’t any holes Danzo can slip through to find where I am._

“So, I dunno, I was half expecting you to gather everyone and run me out of town as soon as possible.”

“Who you fuck isn’t my problem. Honestly, I couldn’t care less.”

He folded his arms across his chest and stuck his lip out in a stubborn, mulish way.

“I want to help you.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Sasuke snapped. Pressure was building behind his eyes.

Naruto let out a short, rough laugh. “Maybe not but,” he scratched the side of his nose, “I’ve been thinkin’…”

_That’s a first,_ he bit back.

“We’re more alike than you wanna admit. You act like you don’t care about anything, but I can see it in your eyes- you’re lonely.”

Sasuke stiffened, but Naruto continued, oblivious. “Whatever you’re messed up in, it’s isolating you. I mean, that was your mom on the phone, right?” He said with a hint of trepidation. “Don’t you think it’d hurt her?”

“I’m trying to keep them safe!” Sasuke burst out. “If Dan- if the guy who’s after me thinks they know where I am…” he kicked fruitlessly at a tuft of grass poking through the blacktop. “You weren’t supposed to hear any of that. Forget the whole conversation.”

“No.” Naruto stopped and caught Sasuke’s arm, spinning him around so they were eye-to-eye. “An’ you know why? Cuz like it or not you saved my ass, so I’m not gonna sit by and let you kill yourself because you were too damned proud to ask for help.”

Itachi’s face flashed briefly before his eyes, but Sasuke forced the image away. _He’s not going to let up. I can either explain how futile the situation is, or refuse to tell him anything and hope he doesn’t go poking around trying to figure it out on his own._

Instead of following the road back into town, Sasuke turned off into the forest where the pines whispered around them, providing a comforting white noise.  The setting sun was filtered in through the trees, casting dappled patterns on the ground. Their footfalls were hushed by a soft coat of dead needles. Sasuke sat cross-legged on the soft carpet.

“It’s a long story,” he explained at Naruto’s puzzled look.

 

* * *

 

_Where do I begin?_ If he was being honest with himself, then he’d have to start much further back; when he still trailed after Itachi like an over-eager puppy. When he still thought he’d make something of himself.

“College was horseshit.” _Too many people, too little space. Loud, enthusiastic smalltalk. Night after night blurring together in a rush of caffeine and bloodshot eyes and a 3.78 GPA that still wasn’t good enough._

“What’d you study?” Naruto perked up for a moment, a hunger in his eyes Sasuke hadn’t seen before.

“Chemistry with a minor in economics. I guess that’s what got Orochimaru interested in me in the first place.” 

“Who’s-”

Sasuke held up a hand. “I’m getting there.”

_Walking back to the dorms after another long day of class, dreading his roommate in his personal space, backpack heavier than a bowling ball. Headlights flickering on…_

“On the surface he’s a run-of-the-mill scumbag; peddling drugs, stealing, what-have-you, but I think he had bigger ambitions than that. The kids I was running with were smart.” _Maybe too smart for our own good._ “I knew he was using me, but at the same time, I didn’t care.”

_Words whispered into ear in the dead of night. Power, money, whatever he wanted as long as he had the balls to take it._

“Anyway, he must’ve bitten off more than he could chew because all of the sudden we had the whole Boston City Police Department breathing down our necks. Now he’s dead and the police chief’s trying to flush out the rest of us.”

He could see Naruto’s eyes widen in the gloom.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “Guess I can’t blame you for bein’ a paranoid bastard in that case. There was this one time in Dallas I had the deputy himself come down and arrest me personally for sleepin’ on the bench outside of town hall one too many times but a personal beef like that…” he whistled.

Sasuke rubbed his arms distractedly. It was growing cold now that the sun was fading and he’d forgotten his jacket.

“Hey,” Naruto elbowed him, “follow me for a sec.” He jumped up, spraying pine needles everywhere.

“Where are we going? It’ll be too dark to see soon, idiot.”

He gave him a lazy, crooked smile, but his only response was to speed up so Sasuke had to walk at an awkward half-run to stay with him. They tromped through the woods for another twenty minutes. The trees had gotten thicker, reducing visibility even more. Sasuke wasn’t even sure which direction led back to town, put Naruto pressed on confidently.

Finally, he spoke. “This isn't one of those places like the falls where you can bring a group of friends out to party... Nobody really knows about this place cuz nobody's willing to get their feet dirty enough this far out.”

“What-” Sasuke opened his mouth to say _what’s so special about this clump of trees?_ Then he looked up.

They had come to the edge of a small clearing, though it was hard to tell in the failing light until you saw the sky. Shadowed branches gave way to a patchwork of stars spread out against the velvety night. Naruto flopped down on his back and rested his hands behind his head, chin tilted upwards at the scene.

“I was gonna take Sakura here,” he mused to himself before falling silent, the corners of his mouth pulling tight. 

Sasuke sat down heavily beside him. “I think whatever’s going on between you two is hurting Sakura just as much.”

Naruto scowled. “She doesn’t understand. You of all people didn’t make a big deal out of… what I told you, but Sakura got all weird about it.” He was silent for another moment. “You can never tell how people are going to react, yanno?” His smile stretched unnaturally and his eyes were glistening, full of reflected starlight.

“She’ll come around. She’s smarter than people give her credit for,” Sasuke admitted grudgingly.

“I hope so.”

They sat in contemplative silence.

“Say, you’re not that bad for a stuck-up bastard,” Naruto said.

 "Don't ruin the moment, dumbass."


	12. Blooming

Lee walked with her to the diner each morning and was always waiting dutifully outside to escort her home at the end of each shift. He took her out to dinner, complimented her outfits, and even offered to rub her shoulders after a long day of work.

Sakura hated every minute of it.

Part of it was guilt, because she _knew_ Lee was low-hanging fruit; an act to keep her parents off her back for a while, her friends satisfied with her love life, and to keep herself from bashing her head into the nearest wall. And, if she was being honest with herself, she enjoyed the special treatment, knowing someone would give the moon to be with her, who listened with rapt attention every time she spoke.

_Just not him,_ Sakura thought desperately as she escaped back into her apartment. Lee’s cries of “Have a good night, darling” followed her like hornets. His affection was cloying and overbearing, not to mention the eyebrows that overshadowed the rest of his face. 

_I’ll never return his feelings._

Sakura dropped her bag onto the coffee table with a despondent _thump._ She was contemplating the merits of digging leftovers out of the fridge or breaking down and ordering Chinese when the phone rang.

“Lee. Are you serious?!” Ino didn’t even wait for her to say hello, but her voice was a beacon in the lonely kitchen.

“What?” Sakura fell into their normal, playful cadence.

“You can’t stand the guy.”

“He’s not so bad,” she answered evasively.

Ino groaned in a rush of static. “I seem to remember a certain prom that you’d rather go stag than with him? Or how about the fact you were avoiding him at Shikamaru’s party? Or on out trip to the falls? What’s going on, girl? You’re not usually the desperate type.”

_I missed you._

“Did Sasuke reject you?” She gasped.

“No, nothing like that,” Sakura bit back a laugh. “Oh, I don’t know I guess my mom’s ‘get married, have babies’ pressure got to me, and well, he’s the most available bachelor around…”

“You’d pick Lee over Naruto?” Ino sounded supremely skeptical.

“Oh my gosh, did I tell you that he was in the middle of his weirdo exercise routine when I asked him out?” she said to change the subject.

“No way!”

Sakura continued to regale Ino with all the minor mishaps she’d had during her brief courtship, from Lee insisting on opening every single door for her (including the bathroom in one very awkward incident), to his one-sided conversations about the benefits of aerobics. By the time she hung up, they were both in stitches. Sakura was happy that their earlier argument was apparently forgotten, but the conversation still left a bitter taste in her mouth.

_Can we only bond with each other over boys?_

She decided it was far too late for that line of thought and went promptly to bed, her mind still churning with half-formed feelings.

She dreamed about Ino again.

 

* * *

 

“I’m sending Shikamaru to get a keg and like, firewood, but you need to come with me so we can get cute decorations. I was thinking maybe some little mugs and other fall accessories,” Ino said without preamble as she set down a tray full of dirty dishes in front of Sakura.

“Huh?” She’d been busy examining the chipped paint on her fingernails. Her brain still felt sticky, like she hadn’t managed to fully wake up yet even though it was well after noon.

“The bonfire! We need to hurry up and plan it before it gets too cold. I was going to start last week but…” Ino flapped her hand, dismissing their fight as a minor inconvenience.

_Right._ Ever since one memorable night junior year when they’d almost burned the whole forest to the ground, Ino had made a point of gathering all their friends together for one last shindig before the winter drove all their parties inside. Just two days ago, Sakura had been crying herself to sleep from loneliness and now she was back to second-in-command. She wondered if it was possible to get emotional whiplash.

“What decorations are we going to put outside? Is the goddamn waterfall not good enough for you?” Naruto griped from the kitchen where he was in the process of emptying the massive garbage cans next to the sink. A middle aged woman sipping tea at the counter frowned disapprovingly at the curse.

Ino huffed and puffed, but Sakura caught Sasuke fighting back a smile.

_Looks like they’ve made up,_ she thought with a pang.

Finally she couldn’t take it anymore and ambushed Naruto as he was getting off shift.

“We need to talk.” She grabbed his wrist and dragged him, protesting, down the road for several minutes. He eventually shook himself free with a squawk and drew a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

“What?”

“I, well-” Sakura began. She hadn’t planned what to say next. All she knew was that the silence of too many sleepless nights was pressing at her back, pushing her forwards into the unknown.

“I got a book from the library,” she blurted out. Naruto’s eyebrows drew down in confusion as he took a long drag.

“I wanted to learn. About you, or whatever. Who you… like. Um they didn’t really have anything but I want you to know that I’m trying my best and I want to be brave enough to stand up for you. I-I miss our teasing,” _and I’ve been having these dreams about my best friend…_ she swallowed with a harsh click of her throat.  “I’m sorry. I was an idiot before. I’m probably still an idiot but-”

She was cut off as Naruto wrapped her up in a bone-crushing hug.

“S-Sakura…”

“You trusted me enough to come out. It must’ve taken so much courage and I made it all about myself like a selfish ass, I can’t believe-” She was sobbing openly now, shaking against his greasy work shirt.

“I thought you were mad at me,” he mumbled into the crook of her neck. “I was so afraid you were gonna tell everyone an’ the whole diner’d be against me. It was easier to pretend that I didn’t care or whatever,” His cheek was damp, “but yeah you were kind of a bitch.”

“Does this mean we’re friends again?”

Naruto squeezed her tighter. “I don’t wanna be lonely.”

“Me either.”

“So I guess we can be lonely together then, yeah?”

Sakura started to laugh, which turned into a painful bout of hiccups. Naruto tickled under her ribs, which only made it worse.

“If anyone… passes by they’ll… think… we’re…crazy,” Sakura gasped out as she wriggled away from his touch.

“Let ‘em,” he grinned.

At that moment, Sasuke strolled by with his hands in his pockets. He paused, half-turned, eyebrows knit together in an expression that wasn’t quite concern. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but ended up sighing and rolling his eyes has he went on his way. They both collapsed in another fit of giggles, and Sakura knew everything was going to be alright.

 

* * *

 

The night was crisp but cloudy with a stiff breeze carrying the scent of dead leaves through Bedford Falls. Sakura wrapped a thick wool sweater around her shoulders as she sought out the trail that led to the picnic area in Deerling Park, closed at this hour but rarely patrolled. She found Shikamaru cursing over a pile of kindling he was attempting light in the fire pit while Ino shouted instructions at him from her seat at a picnic table. Chouji, Hinata, and to her surprise, Sasuke, were standing around in a semi-circle holding plastic cups, the latter looking increasingly more awkward with each passing moment.

Sakura sidled up to him. “Whatcha drinking?” A glass of wine before leaving her apartment had been a good idea, she decided.

Sasuke shrugged irritably. “Beer, maybe? It smells like piss.” He glanced around. “Where’s Naruto?”

“You didn’t actually expect him to be on time, did you? I’m sure he’ll make his grand entrance with a six-pack and a bottle of convenience store liquor in about an hour or so. I’m actually surprised so many people are here already. I came to help set up. And do I detect a hint of anxiety in your voice? Could it be you _want_ Naruto to show up soon?” _Definitely a good idea._

Sasuke glared at her and finished his drink with two long swallows and a grimace. “Where’s your _boyfriend_ Lee?”

“H-he’s not- we’re- it’s none of your business,” Sakura said with as much dignity as she could muster. She snatched the empty cup from his hand. “I’ll go get some more piss for the two of us. Try not to start any fights while I’m gone.”

She could feel his eyes on her back as she walked over to the keg perched precariously on the end of another picnic table laden with hotdog and hamburger buns, a cooler, a few bottles of soda, and pretty little iced cake Hinata must’ve brought. Sakura tried to sway her hips slightly like Ino did. _What is wrong with me?_

Her friend caught sight of her as she was preparing to return with two cups filled to the brim. Ino wrapped her arms fiercely around her neck, sloshing the beverages dangerously. Her breath was slightly boozy on Sakura’s face as she muttered into her ear.

“You’re heeere! ‘M so excited, this party’s gonna be great.”

Sakura laughed as she extricated herself and handed a non-plussed Sasuke his drink. She couldn’t help but let Ino’s bubbly spirit infect her. There was a cry of victory behind them as the fire finally crackled to life. She smiled to herself as she raised her cup to force Sasuke into a sloppy toast.

 

* * *

 

The park quickly filled with people, most of whom clustered around the warmth of the bonfire that had grown big enough to eat the logs kept lined up at the ready. Sakura was surprised to note the volume of people who’d turned up this year- even Kiba was sulking on the outskirts, casting dirty looks and making loud comments that Ino ignored. Sakura herself was busy dodging Lee, who seemed to be roaming the crowd looking for her.

Sure enough, Naruto burst onto the scene once most of the guests had arrived, cheerfully sloshed.

“Who wants whiskeyyyyyy?” He hollered. A bottled dangled from his hand. Sakura took one sniff and carefully declined. She needed to drink a lot more before she got that desperate.

“Nice job on the party,” she elbowed Ino in the side, then ducked to avoid Lee.

 “You think?” she grabbed the bottle from Naruto’s hand and took a gulp, then burst into a furious bout of coughing. “Oh my God, what IS that?”

“I dunno but it was cheap,” he grinned proudly. “Oi Sasuke I bet I can drink more than youuuu!”

“Oh no,” Sakura covered her face with her hands. “I don’t want to send anyone to the hospital tonight!” She called after him but he either didn’t hear or chose to ignore her.

Ino shrugged and grabbed her wrist, tugging her forward.

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!”

 

* * *

 

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Sakura threw down her can with a gasp to the crowd’s whoops of approval. She hadn’t shot-gunned a beer since her first semester at Seattle University but apparently she still had the talent. She gave Sasuke a satisfied smirk, at which he rolled his eyes. Naruto however was gazing at her with undisguised awe.

“I didn’t know you had it in ya!” he cheered, slapping across the back.

“Yeah you can open your mouth super wide,” Ino added with a leer, “You’ll make some man real happy one day.”

A shiver went down Sakura’s spine, as if someone had dropped an ice cube down her shirt. “It’s YOUR turn now,” she said for lack of anything better, shoving a beer into Ino’s hand.

 

* * *

 

Lee’s face swam into view. His eyebrows were practically _crawling_. Like caterpillars. Or maybe her vision was just swimmy.

_Shit, I am drunk._

“Maybe you’ve had enough,” he said, echoing her thoughts.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Sakura snarled as she took a swig of whatever she was holding in defiance.

“I-I wasn’t-”

“’M an independent woman. I don’t neeeeed you. Lemme alone.”

Lee reached out to grab her arm, but she danced out of his reach. The heat of the bonfire crackled across her face and her lungs were filled with ash and smoke. She was alive, powerful.

“You don’t mean that,” he gasped.

Sakura shrugged and slipped back into the throng of bodies, leaving Lee to draw his own conclusions.

 

* * *

 

The alcohol wrapped around her like a warm blanket. She sighed contentedly and pressed herself into Ino’s side. A shout rang out somewhere along the treeline, where the rowdiest had gathered, but Sakura was content to sit and watch the flames dance.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting tired already,” Ino said wryly.

Sakura tilted her chin up to face her. The firelight shone through Ino’s hair, turning it to burnished gold. Her cheeks were slightly pink from a combination of the chill or the booze. _Pretty…_

“I may’ve had more to drink than I anticipated,” she mumbled.

“Aww c’mon you’re supposed to be the responsible one!” Ino poked her lightly on the cheek. Sakura stuck her tongue out.

“I wanna have fun.”

“Seemed like you were enjoying yourself quite a lot when you were chasing Naruto all over the park.”

“He stole my beer,” Sakura whined, “I had to get it back an’ now I’m tired.”

“Okay, okay, rest on my shoulder for a while. I’ll wake you up if anything interesting happens.”

 

* * *

 

The fire had burnt down to glowing embers, leaving a chill in its wake. Sakura was vaguely aware of movement around her; the crunch of feet stepping on crushed cans, low voices with the occasional spike of laughter, but Ino’s warmth was missing from her side.

“Looks like its bedtime for you!” Naruto said, louder than necessary, into her ear.

Sakura gave an indistinct grunt in response, but he swung her arm over his shoulder and hoisted her up onto her feet. The ground spun for a moment before stabilizing. Sakura took a cautious step forward. Her knees protested at the cold. She swayed into Naruto, who nudged her not unkindly back to center. It took so much effort to move that she contemplated taking a little nap right there instead.

“We’re gonna go to your apartment before you lie down,” Naruto clarified as if he’d read her mind.

“Where’s Ino?”

“Cleaning up.”

“I want her to come with me,” Sakura said, stubbornly digging her heels into the grass.

“Well unless you want the park marshals on our asses tomorrow, you should let her finish.”

“I’ll help!”

Naruto ducked out from underneath her arm, then caught her as she stumbled forward. “Hinata and Lee are with her. An’ so’s Shikamaru but I think he’s passed out under one of the picnic tables,” he trailed off with a giggle. 

“Wha’s on your face?” Sakura squinted at his forehead, where a word had been scrawled with a marker, then smeared beyond recognition.

“I err, lost a bet with Sasuke.”

“Does it say ‘loser’?” She poked his cheek. Nartuto huffed indignantly. A horrific thought crept into her head. “I didn’t get handsy with him, did I? Or say something weird?” Sakura looked around wildly, which was a big mistake for her head. She kept her breathing shallow and closed her eyes until the dizzy sensation passed.

“Actually you stayed cuddled up to Ino most of the night. I think Sasuke left after Lee tried to get him to play strip poker with us,” he sounded regretful.

“Good, good. I wanna stay with her. I think it’s… better for me. We need each other.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep. I missed her soooo much when I was in Seattle and she was all sad while I was gone an’ all that so eventually I came back! Well that wasn’t the only reason, but,” she sighed and pawed her bangs out of her face with one hand. “You know how it is.”

Naruto shrugged with his free shoulder.

“I think I love her.” The words felt strange, tripping off of a numb tongue.

“Maybe you do,” was all he said in reply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to you, the reader, and my kick-ass beta RedBeardtheNotPirate (go and read his one-shots btw they rock). Poor Lee. I love him, I really do, but he drew the short end of the romance stick in this fic.


	13. Thanksgiving Pt. 1

It was with much trepidation that Sasuke returned to One-Eyed Jacks, but it seemed to be the only bar in town without obnoxious holiday decorations gracing the windows. After the shift he’d just had, he _really_ needed a drink. 

The place was completely devoid of customers, which gave it an even more dilapidated air than before. Sasuke let out a small sigh of relief. The bikers were absent. Tobi waved him over to the bar.  

“Long time no see! How’re things up at the Double R? It looks like you left in a hurry,” he gestured to Sasuke’s front, and he realized he was still wearing his apron. He yanked the greasy thing over his head and stuffed it under a stool.  

“Whisky double, neat.” 

Tobi’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead. “That bad, huh? Well at least there’s no one here for you to fight this time,” he chuckled as he fished around and produced a pair of glasses. “It’s a bit early for my usual clientele, so you wouldn’t mind if I had one with you?” 

Sasuke shrugged. A tour bus. Forty hungry senior citizens. Ino and Shikamaru still severely hungover from last night’s festivities. He’d reached his socialization limit hours ago.   

A gust of cold air blew through as the door opened and shut with a bang. To his surprise, Sakura stomped up to the counter. Tears leaked from her eyes but her hands were balled into fists and her mouth contorted with rage. Overall, the effect was terrifying. Sasuke thought fast, running through the events of last night to see if he’d done anything that could have caused that reaction, but came up empty.  

“Fuck my mother!” Sakura burst out as she threw herself down on the stool beside him. 

Sasuke glanced at Tobi, but he was extremely focused on pouring the drinks.  

_Naruto would say something stupid like “Your mother’s not my type” and make her laugh._  

“She’ll have what I’m having.”  

Sakura downed the shot in one gulp and slammed the glass back down on the table.  

“Fuck my mother!” She repeated, and when no reply was forthcoming, she shook her head. “Hey Sasuke, what would you say if I asked you to come have Thanksgiving dinner with my family? It wouldn’t be a date or anything, just…” she trailed off, staring at the deeply into her empty glass as if there was something interesting on the bottom.  

“What about Lee?” _Isn’t he your actual date?_  

Sakura’s face clouded. “My mom invited him without asking me. Apparently she heard from her little gossip circle that we were dating so she took it upon herself to open up the Haruno family table. So I thought that maybe if I told her I was going with someone else,” her cheeks flushed, “she’d leave me alone.” 

“Why don’t you just tell Lee you don’t like him? Stop wasting his time. It’s a pretty bitchy move if you ask me.” Sasuke drained his drink as well. Now was not the right time to have this conversation. It would never be the right time to have this conversation.  

Sakura straightened as if she’d been slapped. Her mouth opened to form an angry retort, then snapped close.  

“You’re right. I’m being selfish.” She sniffed. “I just don’t- he’s my friend, you know?”  

“Do whatever the fuck you want, I don’t care.” He wouldn’t admit it, but Lee _did_ look the picture of joy whenever the two of them were together.  

“Ya know what? Maybe I will. I’ll do what I want for once. Thanks, Sasuke.” Sakura slapped him across the back and gestured at Tobi to refill their glasses.  

Sasuke accepted in bemused silence. _After all she had to drink_ _yesterday,_ _I can’t believe she’s up walking around, let alone coming back for more._ _And since when does anyone come to me for advice?_  

An hour later, he extricated himself from yet another one of Sakura’s tangents, which were becoming increasingly incomprehensible and emotional. Tobi caught his eye and turned his palms up in a heaven-help-me gesture.  

“Um, it’s going to work out fine,” he muttered awkwardly, ducking her hug as he made for the door. 

“Damn right,” she growled at his back.   

 

* * *

 

The grey sky matched his mood as he wound his way back to town. With the diner closed on Thanksgiving, he’d have to find some other way to distract himself from the crushing press of the upcoming holidays. His stomach churned at the thought.  

_W_ _hat if_ _Mom expect_ _s_ _me to call? W_ _hat if_ _she tr_ _ies_ _to get in touch with me?_  

Sasuke was beginning to regret turning down Sakura’s offer. The only thing more obnoxious than having to sit through another family’s Thanksgiving would be sitting alone at the Motel with a dry turkey sandwich.  

_Is Itachi coming home this year?_  

He kicked out at a stone in his path. It rolled over a few times, the impact muffled by dead leaves. A dull ache flared in his chest. He told himself he didn’t miss the stuffy family affairs; muted clinking of silverware on china, stiff, polite conversation, and a litany of Itachi’s newest accomplishments. He told himself he didn’t miss Juugo’s tofurkey, or getting drunk on cheap wine while Suigetsu and Karin argued about the side dishes.  

The large, red signpost for the Double R emerged through the trees.  

_Naruto’s probably still on shift._ _Wouldn’t hurt to stop in, let him know about Sakura. Someone should walk her home, or at least make sure Tobi calls her a ride,_ Sasuke reasoned.  

 

* * *

 

Stepping into the diner felt like a warm bath after braving the outdoors. The ever-present scent of grease hung even heavier in the air, which indicated that Chouji was cooking. Naruto lounged against the counter, in deep concentration with a spoon hanging on the end of his nose.  

Sasuke snatched it away.  

“Hey I was going for a record!” He yelped.  

“Working hard, I see.” 

Naruto waved around at the empty room. “What are you doing here anyway? I heard Shikamaru complaining about a tour bus this morning, so clearly you guys got slammed and stole all the customers for the day.”  

“That’s not how it- nevermind. Sakura’s up at One Eyed Jack’s getting drunk and rambling something about Thanksgiving and murder. You might want to make sure she’s okay.” 

He nodded sagely. “She was in here with Lee earlier. I like the guy but man, can he not take a hint? And the whole thing with her mom’s complicated and this makes it worse. Say, you wanna cup of coffee? It’s not like I have anything better to do.” 

“I was on my way out.” Sasuke pushed down his desire to press him for more information about Sakura. She’d never mentioned anything like that to him before. In fact, her family life seemed down right apple-pie perfect, if slightly oppressive.  

Naruto’s face fell. “Oh. Yeah. Well uhh any chance you’d be free Thursday? I thought since you don’t have family here and all, maybe you’d like some company? It gets pretty boring around here if you aren’t the holly-jolly type this time of year.” 

He mulled it over. An evening alone with the strains of Christmas carols filtering in from the lobby or an evening with a ball of obnoxious energy?  

“Sure. Whatever. You remember where I live, don’t you?” As he headed for the door, he pretended not to hear Naruto’s excited exclamations.  

 

* * *

 

At first, Sasuke wasn’t sure if the thumping came from outside or inside his head. The dream he’d been having vanished; something about a long, white table, and voices shouting from far away. Someone was knocking at his door. He couldn’t see the clock through his half-closed eyes but the room was still dark.  

He grunted and staggered over to the peephole, hand groping in the dark for his baseball bat, just in case. A shocking blue eye stared back at him.  

“I’m not here to thug ya, loser, open up!” Naruto hollered, punctuating his words with increasingly violent knocks.  

“I’ll bash your head in if you don’t shut up,” Sasuke grumbled as he fumbled with the lock. “Why are you here so goddamn early?” 

“I um sorta promised Kakashi we’d bring the turkey.”  

“What?” _Kakashi?_ _Turkey?_ It was too early for his brain to handle this onslaught of information.  

Naruto held aloft a frozen, bowling ball-sized hunk of meat wrapped in netting from the grocery store. “It was the last one left,” he said proudly.  

Sasuke left the door open for Naruto to follow him as he turned tail and headed straight for the coffee pot. _Maybe I’m still dreaming._  

Two cups later, he was still standing there in his coat and stupid orange pom-pom hat, beginning to look a little uneasy. 

“I thought maybe we should start cooki-” 

“Stop.” Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache that wouldn’t go away. “Run that by me one more time?” 

Naruto blew out a loud, impatient breath. “Kakashi an’ Tobi invited me out to their place since I got nowhere to go and obviously I can bring someone along but Kakashi was all like ‘cooking is so hard blah blah blah’ so since I felt bad that I was bringin’ an extra guest I told him we’d take care of it! So here I am,” he glanced around, “Where’s your oven?” 

Now he really _did_ have a headache. “This is a motel, dumbass. It doesn’t come with a full-service kitchen, so unless you think we can roast a turkey with a Bic, we’re shit out of luck. Also, who the fuck said we were going to Kakashi’s? I thought the whole point was that this was our last resort,” he said heatedly.  

Naruto’s placed the frozen lump on the TV stand and swung his arms back and forth, staring determinedly at the ceiling.  

“I dunno, today’s supposed to be about family an’ everything I just thought… Kakashi and everybody else at the diner really took me in. I wouldn’t’ve stuck around otherwise. Just thought you’d want to come along but never mind, forget it. You can stay here and drink alone for all I care.” 

_These are the only people you have. No one else you can trust._  

Sasuke stood to block Naruto from leaving with his body.   

“We still have a couple hours. You’d better hope there’s a store around here that’s still open.” 

 

* * *

 

 

Naruto’s Volkswagen bug didn’t look like it could make it down the block, let alone survive a tri-county search for a fully-cooked turkey on Thanksgiving Day. The car was a frankly alarming shade of green underneath a coat of mud and rust. One of the headlights was dangling like an avulsed eyeball, and the interior was jam-packed full of so much stuff that Sasuke couldn’t even make out individual items.  

“This is stupid,” he grimaced as he wedged himself into the passenger seat after their fifth store. “We should’ve just grabbed the deli slices and called it a day. I’m tired of sitting with my knees up my nose.” 

Naruto clenched the steering wheel with resolve. “I told you already, I’m not gonna let him down!” 

_I don’t think we have a choice._ Sasuke swatted at a string of beads that was dangling from the rearview mirror. “It’s not my fault you have poor planning skills.” 

“I-it’s not my fault you’re a jerk!”  

“Weak.” 

Naruto laughed. “You really do look dumb all scrunched up on the dashboard like that.” 

Sasuke glowered at him and massaged his cramping thigh. “Well maybe if you cleaned your car out ever, I’d be able to put the seat back.”  

“I’ve lived in here,” he said simply. “After I ran away. I’d earn enough for gas and a few meals and then on to the next town. Maybe it’s stupid but I like to keep my baby well-stocked just in case.” 

“Oh.” Sasuke thought of the fully packed bag he had stashed under his bed.  

“Plus I got cool shit from all the places I’ve visited!” Naruto twisted around to fish through the pile of crap in the back seat, forcing Sasuke to dive for the wheel before they were run off the road.  

“This is from when I went to see the world’s largest ball of twine.” He proudly held up what looked like a fist-sized hairball.  

“Doesn’t look very big to me.” 

“It’s a model version,” he huffed. “Check this out though- sand from Tuscon! Or wait, maybe that’s sand from Santa Monica. I really shoulda labeled these…” 

After two more stores, Naruto was forced to concede defeat. Sasuke settled back in his seat as he let him prattle on about his various adventures. A twinge of jealousy stole over him. Naruto was free. He didn’t have obligations hanging over his head, or other people nosing into his business. If he felt like it, he could be gone the next morning with no repercussions.  

_And yet… he doesn’t seem happy._  

Even the stories about eccentric people he encountered, complete with voice-acting and animated gestures, were accompanied by tightness around his mouth and eyes. Occasionally Naruto would lapse into silence and stare off at the road. He never mentioned his life in foster care or asked Sasuke about his family. 

 

* * *

 

“Well, here we are!” Naruto cracked his neck. They were parked at the end of a long, narrow driveway. Perched at the top was a quaint wooden cabin with a large chain-link fence running around the back. It was a bit jarring to realize Kakashi lived in an actual house and not the manager’s closet at the diner.  

A low-hanging stoop framed the porch, protecting a hand-carved bench from the snow. Despite these homey touches the place felt isolated. Sasuke could make out the lights from cars zooming past on the freeway if he squinted, and the main part of town was hidden by trees. The brash ring of the doorbell was surprisingly loud. It was followed quickly by a cacophony of barking.  

Naruto bounced on the balls of his feet as if he’d already been standing still for too long but it only took a few minutes for Kakashi to appear. He held the door open with one hand while the other restrained an enormous husky. His foot blocked a smaller, shaggy dog from escaping, and Sasuke could hear the scrabbling of more paws behind him. 

“Come in. Quick.” He urged.  

They were engulfed in a swirling mass of fur the moment they stepped into the house. Sasuke counted at least five dogs of various shapes and sizes, though it was hard to tell as they jockeyed for positions among the guests, pressing their cool noses against legs and hands.  

“Heyyyy Pakkun!” Naruto threw his arms around a grumpy-looking pug, then immediately burst into a litany of apologies about the turkey, though his version of events was much more dramatic, featuring a car chase and several close encounters involving lighter fluid.  

Kakashi stared at him for a solid minute, his face unreadable under the eyepatch. Then he chuckled, his good eye twinkling with just a hint of malice.  

“I’m surprised you actually tried. I assumed you would figure out I wasn’t serious. Tobi always cooks the turkey. In fact, if I tried to help him, I think he’d serve me for dinner.”  

Muffled swearing emanated from the kitchen. 

“Sounds like he’s almost done. Make yourselves at home.” Kakashi waved vaguely around the living room.  

Naruto happily shucked his coat and proceeded to sprawl on the couch like he owned the place. A wiry little terrier joined him, licking his face with enthusiasm.  

Sasuke shifted his weight from foot to foot, unsure of what to do with himself.  The walls were cluttered with a mish-match of different decorations; three different stuffed deer heads, a poster of a pin-up girl next to a cross-stitched scene of a meadow, and even a replica of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story sitting next to a sturdy oak table. He was drawn to a set of photographs on the mantle. Kakashi hadn’t struck him as the sentimental type, but the black-and-white images that stared back at him had a certain, loving quality to them. A younger Kakashi in fatigues holding Tobi in a headlock, their faces unscarred and smiling. Kakashi sleeping in the front seat of a jeep. Him and Tobi again, heavily bandaged but on a beach, hoisting a young girl onto their shoulders, her legs a blur of movement. A candid shot of the same girl looking out a window with shadows playing across her face.  

“Food!” Tobi’s voice rang out.  

Sasuke was grateful for the distraction. He couldn’t shake the feeling he’d intruded on something private.

  

* * *

 

“Mmm I don’t think I can ever move again,” Naruto groaned, patting his swollen stomach. Sasuke wanted to agree, but he couldn’t seem to keep his eyelids open. Dirty plates sat abandoned on the table as the party had moved back into the living room, where everyone could spread out and unbuckle their belts.  

No politics, no stern reminders to sit up straight… _I could get used to this,_ Sasuke thought lazily as he let his head slide down to rest against Naruto’s shoulder. He raised his arm and for a moment Sasuke expected him to wrap it around his waist, but instead he tipped him over sideways.  

“Your head’s too heavy,” he griped.  

Sasuke raised his middle finger and stretched out obnoxiously so his feet rested across Naruto’s lap. Strangely, he didn’t shove them away.  

_Whatever._ Sasuke was tired, full, and warm. Naruto’s hand rested on his knee with a comforting weight.  

“Well, I think we’d better start cleaning up,” Kakashi yawned and stretched his long limbs. “ _Right Tobi?”_  

“But-oh yeah, those plates won’t wash themselves.” The two men disappeared into the kitchen, but not before Kakashi turned back to look at them with a smug smile on his face. Sasuke ignored him.  

“Seems like you had a nice time for once,” Naruto said with a hint of a smirk in his voice.  

“It was okay,” he conceded.  

They lapsed into silence, but after forty seconds by Sasuke’s count Naruto spoke again.  

“Hey, what was Thanksgiving back home like?” 

“Boring. Like everyone else’s. Why do you care?” Sasuke propped himself up on one elbow and found the blond man eyeing him intently, a contemplative expression on his face.  

“Just…wondering.” 

_He’s never had a ‘normal’ Thanksgiving, never had a family that he didn’t fight tooth and nail to build._  

Sasuke forced himself into a sitting position with a groan as his full stomach protested the movement.  

“My family was really strict. We all got dressed up, ate off the good china, the whole nine yards,” he began. He could see a reflection of his six-year old self staring out from the sheen of a polished white plate.  

“We had to sit up straight and be respectful while grandpa told the same stories he always did. Then they’d talk about how _smart_ my brother was. How he was _going places_. I had to sit still until the grown-ups got too tipsy to care and Itachi made me go to bed.” As he spoke, Sasuke’s voice hardened with sarcasm. _I was never good enough to get attention._ _Orochimaru was the only pers_ _on who ever saw potential in me, and that was for his own selfish reasons._  

“That sounds like bullshit.” Naruto gave his hand a little squeeze. A warm shock traveled up his shoulder. The garish decorations were suddenly very inviting; he could stay in Kakashi’s living room forever, leave the Motel cold and abandoned.  

He let Naruto inch his way closer until their thighs were touching. The blond man let out an earsplitting yawn as he wrapped a stealthy arm around Sasuke’s shoulder. He chuckled to himself, pleased. Sasuke sat very still and tried to ignore his heart pounding in his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urgh sorry about the late update. I was all set to go and then my computer crashed. Fortunately I had this fic backed up so I didn't lose much in terms of writing, but it's a pain nonetheless. Thanks for your patience!


	14. Thanksgiving pt 2

Sakura surveyed the mountain of greasy pots in the sink with a growing sense of hopelessness. The kitchen was a disaster and dinner hadn’t even been served yet.  

_I thought we could at least get to the turkey before the day went to shit._  

“You seriously put up with this every year?” She moaned to her mother as she wiped at the cranberry crust that coated the cutting board.  

“Not so much fun and games when you’re the one cooking while the guests get to put their feet up and play cards, isn’t it?” Mrs. Haruno teased. “I should’ve made you help out more as a child so you’d appreciate the amount of work it takes to put on a show for the holidays.”  

“Dad’s smoking a pipe in the living room,” Sakura grumbled, but instantly regretted it when she saw the frown lines around her mouth deepen. Things had been between them had been tense ever since Lee had been invited to dinner, but Sakura kept her mouth shut since she couldn’t think of a good excuse as to why she didn’t want him there.  

_He’s your BOYFRIEND after all,_ went the mocking voice in her head.  

“You’ll understand when you’re married,” her mother said crossly. “And speaking of, why don’t you go see if Lee wants anything to drink?”  

A firm “no” danced on the tip of her tongue, but fighting back would take more energy than she had. _Make it through today without killing anyone._ _Or starting a fight._ _It’s_ _one night._ _One meal._  

“Hello darling!” Lee beamed, looking up from a Reader’s Digest.      

Sakura shied away from his earnest smile. Instead she thrust a glass of water at him while studying the little pills of fabric coming out of the embroidery on the couch.  

“Is everything alright?” 

“Dinner should be ready soon.” 

Lee frowned. “That’s not what I mean.” 

“Oh really?” Sakura couldn’t keep the acidity out of her voice. His very presence in her house was cloying; a beacon towards a future she was now certain she didn’t want, yet was drawing inexorably closer.” 

“Is it something I did? Are you upset that I chose to finish my laps before coming here? Do you feel that I prioritize fitness over our relationship, because that is not true!” He reached for out but she flinched away.  

“Don’t worry about it, I’m tired and stressed out from the holiday is all,” Sakura slid on her customer service face, her tone shifting to a chirpier pitch. “I’m sorry.” 

Relief broke over Lee’s face. “You should take a break and come sit down for a while. I’m sure your mother can manage without you.” He patted the seat next to him.  

“No, I should get back. Still lots of work to be done before we can eat!” She excused herself, slipped past her father who nodded vaguely from his place at the head of the dining table. Once she was out of sight, she headed for the staircase rather than the kitchen.  

 

* * *

 

Her bedroom had been left mostly untouched since she’d moved out. The curtains were still a soft pink which, coupled with the yellow walls, left a distinctly childlike impression. A twin bed was shoved into the corner next to the window overlooking the backyard. The posters surrounding it created a visual timeline of her interests over the years; glow-in-the-dark stars, horses, boy bands, and finally an anatomy poster detailing all the bones in the human body. Her eyes cut to the closet, where she knew her uniform for the clinical rotation still hung in all its starchy glory.  

_Life doesn’t turn out the way you expect when you’re eighteen years old._  

Still, her breath hitched in her chest. Her high school yearbook was wedged into her bookshelf. Of all her schoolmates, who had actually made it out of town? At graduation everyone had waxed poetic about freedom and choices, but everywhere she went familiar faces stuck out from behind deli counters, or next to shoe displays at the mall.  

“I tried, I really did,” she whispered to the photograph of her and Ino clutching their diplomas, faces smiling but also tear-stained.  

_Liar, you_ _came_ _running back home at the first chance you got. You weren’t brave enough to hack it by yourself in the city. Not without someone constantly validating your choices._  

“Is everything okay, sweetie?” 

Sakura jumped at the sound of her mother’s voice.  

“Y-yeah,” she replaced the picture with shaking hands. “Do you ever feel like I made a big mistake dropping out of school?” 

Mrs. Haruno pressed a kiss onto her forehead. “I think you’ll go back when you’re ready. You always were a bit of a homebody. Do you remember the first time you slept over at Ino’s house?” 

“You had to come pick me up because I was crying so hard. Mom, I’m not that little girl anymore.”  

Her mother smiled and proceeded to smooth out the duvet cover with gentle hands. “True, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t someone who needs a nice, stable base of support to help you grow.” 

Sakura felt a rare warmth toward her that she hadn’t experienced in a long time. She leaned into her side and let herself be comforted.  

“Once you find the right man, you’ll see. I know you haven’t been very lucky in that department, but you are such a strong, smart girl that it’s only a matter of time. The right person can really open your eyes to what’s out there, give you courage to try new things… He’ll give you that structure.” 

All at once the warmth vanished, leaving behind a vacuum that was somehow colder than before. She found herself falling away from the light and comfort in her mother’s eyes, leaving her feeling shriveled and alone.  

Sakura nodded numbly, thinking of Lee waiting downstairs. How much better it would be if it were Ino instead. No matter how much she wished her feelings were the result of a drunken whim, she couldn’t pretend any more.  

_I should’ve seen the signs. I’m such a goddamn moron. I love her. What am I going to do now?_  

 

* * *

 

It was hard to swallow more than a few mouthfuls of turkey with her heart occupying so much space in her throat. All around the table were happy smiles, blissfully unaware of the tectonic shifts happening inside her.   

“Would you like some pie?” Lee asked as he squeezed her knee under the table.  

Sakura shook her head and resisted the urge to kick out.  

_It’s not fair._ _I have a loving boyfriend, an easy, n_ _ormal life. Why do I have to be like this?_ She felt guilty for thinking that immediately after as she remembered Naruto and his accusation that she wasn’t strong enough to stand up for him.  

_Who do I tell? How do I tell?_ She twisted her napkin into a sweaty lump on her lap.  

_Will they still love me?_  

The dirty plates needed to be cleared away. Her father joked that her experience at the diner made her the perfect person for the job. Sakura forced herself to laugh.  

She was up to her elbows in soap suds when she heard the soft tread of Lee’s foot behind her; a quick, nervous intake of breath.  

“Can I talk to you outside?” 

She looked to her mother who nodded and flapped the hand towel she was using to dry the dishes at the door.  

_Maybe he’s finally come to his senses._  

Their breath formed little white puffs in the cold air. Sakura watched Lee blow out a long cloud. He had his hands shoved deep into his pockets, the color rising rapidly to his face. He wouldn’t meet her eyes.  

_Maybe he’s breaking up with me._ Her heart swelled with hope.  

Lee cleared his throat.  

“Sakura, I’ve been thinking.” 

_Good start…_  

“We’ve known each other since we were little kids. And ever since our first day of kindergarten, I’ve admired you. Even though you were shy there was always a quiet strength and kindness inside of you that I strove to emulate. Despite all the time I’ve spent chasing after you, I barely had a hope that you would ever return my feelings.” His eyes welled up. “These past few weeks have been wonderful but I can’t help but wonder…” 

Lee fished around wildly in his coat pocket for a moment before drawing out a small, square box. Sakura was baffled, at first wondering why he was making such a big deal out of buying her earrings until the realization hit her like a freight train.  

_Oh no._  

Alien abduction. A bolt of lightning. The pits of hell opening underneath her feet. Anything would be preferable to watching sweet, clueless, _hopeless_ , Lee get down on one knee on the frozen earth in front of her. 

“Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?”  

“We should split up.” 

The words rang out like iron before she could soften them. Lee’s face fell from exuberant hope to confusion to hurt.  

“What?” He laughed nervously, the ring still dangling from his outstretched hand.  

“It’s not you, it’s me.” Sakura dredged up the tired old clichés, wishing for all the world that she could simply disappear. “You’re really great and all but, I-I’m not looking to get married right now and um, I don’t think I feel the same way you do. I’m sorry. You deserve someone who’ll make you happy.” 

“But, you do make me happy,” Lee whispered. “Can’t we talk about this? What am I doing wrong? I promise, whatever it is, I’ll improve!”’ He hadn’t moved. A wet patch was starting to work its way up from where his knee dug into the ground.  

“It’s Sasuke. I-I like him,” Sakura lied desperately. Lee flinched as if he’d been struck.  

“I tried to deny it all this time, I thought maybe I could learn to like you instead but I can’t.” Tears were running down her cheeks now, prickling with cold. It was the worst way to hurt him but the only thing she could think of that would convince him without telling the truth.  

“I see.” Lee slowly put the ring box back in his pocket. He stood, head hanging down. “I can’t control the way you feel. I guess this is goodbye. Tell your mother dinner was lovely.” His tone was flat and devoid of emotion like a robot. He held out his hand as if he was offering to shake hers, then let it fall to his thigh. He dragged his feet as he walked down the driveway, but didn’t turn back.  

Sakura couldn’t take it anymore. She ran back through the kitchen, past her shocked mother, up the stairs, slammed the door and flung herself on her bed like she was still in high school.  

Her hand hovered over the phone, but when she realized she couldn’t call Ino, she burst into loud, ugly sobs. She heard a soft knock at the door but ignored it, curling in around her cramping stomach. Eventually her mother’s footsteps retreated and Sakura was left alone with the suffocating sensation that she’d well and truly fucked up this time.  

 

* * *

 

She cried herself into a doze and woke up a few hours later with crusty eyes and a head stuffed full of cotton. She crept through the quiet house, careful to avoid the creaky third step on the stairs. Her parents slumbered on, peacefully oblivious.  

Sakura slipped into the darkened kitchen with ease. She admired the stillness for a moment, the way moonlight spilled across the floor like milk. A piece of pie sat wrapped up on the baseboard. If she squinted she could make out the note her mother had placed next to it. “Love you, honey. I’m here if you want to talk tomorrow.”  

Sakura picked at the slice with her fingers as she tried to collect her thoughts. Despite the fear and dread warring inside her, she felt a spark of excitement too.  

_I love_ _Ino_ _._  

It was so natural, so obvious. But even if she was a man, would Ino feel the same way? 

_Damage control: How can I stay normal while I’m figuring everything out? Hell,_ _Ino’s_ _DATING_ _Shikamaru_ _. Clearly she isn’t interested in women and I have to accept that._ _I’ll have to focus on being her friend._  

But she was already longing for more. She wanted to run her fingers through Ino’s hair, over her lips, down her thighs… 

Sakura shook her head furiously. _I need someone to guide me through all this. I have no idea what I’m doing!_  

She jumped up, scattering the crumbs from her lap onto the floor. It was nearly midnight, but there was a good chance Naruto was still awake if all his bragging about late-night shenanigans had any truth to them. She pictured the schedule from the diner in her head. If she remembered correctly, Naruto was renting a room in one of the complexes off the interstate. Seedy, but not outright dangerous. And more importantly, within walking distance.  

Sakura grabbed her coat and jammed her feet into boots, not bothering to tie the laces.  She barely noticed the cold over the two-mile walk, and didn’t realize how fast she’d been going until she was wheezing on Naruto’s doorstep. She kicked at the door, until eventually a disheveled blond head peeked around the corner.  

“Wa-wass goin’ on?”  

“I think I’m gay.” She blurted out.  

 

* * *

 

Naruto stared at her for a moment, digesting the information before his face lit up.  

“Yuuuup I thought so! I mean, after the party ‘n everything. Oh man- C’mon in.” He hustled her in, beaming. “Welcome to mi casa.”  

Sakura winced at the underlying aroma of moldy socks. A futon which appeared to double as a bed was the central focus of the living space, with a small kitchen area shoved into the far corner. Battered posters for _Mad Max 2: Road Warrior_ and _Return of the Jedi_ adorned the walls.  

Naruto bounded over to the futon and patted the space next to him.  

“Ya gotta tell me everything.” His eyes burned with the hunger that she felt within herself.  

Sakura told him everything- she started with the disastrous proposal and worked backward through her scant library research all the way to their elementary school days. As she did so, her chest grew lighter and lighter. Naruto laughed, gasped, and groaned at all the appropriate moments. For the first time it proved her love for Ino was good and pure, not a dark side of her soul that needed to be hidden away.  

“But how to I talk to girlsss?” She moaned. “I barely know how to talk to guys.” 

“Heh, you’re cute. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about it too much.” 

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Face it, I’m a human disaster. Look what I did to Lee!”  

Naruto placed a hand on top of her head. “One day we’ll blow this town and I’ll take you to the right kind of bar an’ everyone’s jaws’ll hit the floor when they see you, no lie. Show off a little…” he gestured to her chest.  

Sakura pushed him over. “I think the rest of this conversation calls for booze.”   

Eventually a bottle of wine was procured and she and Naruto passed it back and forth, foregoing the glass, as he told her stories of gay bars he’d gone to in other cities. Drag shows, clandestine meetings, coffee shop groups… the dizzying array made Sakura’s head spin. Bedford Falls grew smaller and smaller, until she was just a drop in a big, gay ocean, not a freak hiding from the spotlight.  

“I propose a toast,” she announced as the bottle approached empty.  

Naruto pretended to raise a glass solemnly.  

“To us. And those like us.” Sakura stood and placed one foot on the couch and raised the wine over her head. “May we find happiness, an’ sex ‘n stuff.” 

“Here here!” Naruto cried as she took a long swallow before passing it to him.  

“So, you’ve been here long enough. See anything you like?” Sakura raised a saucy eyebrow, grabbing the bottle back.  

Naruto stilled. “N-Nah. That’d be a trip huh, imagine me dating somebody at the diner hooo boy that could turn ugly.” 

“You are the worst liar I’ve ever seen. I never said anything about the Double R. C’mon how bad can it be, it’s not like you have a crush on Sasuke, right?” 

His furious bellows of protest were more telling than a full confession. Sakura choked on her drink.  

“Seriously?!” She spluttered once she’d finally regained control of her airway. Naruto scowled and looked away, flushing.  

“I don’t _want_ to,” he said childishly. “That bastard’s so pig-headed an’ full of himself… I wish it could be anyone else in this whole damn town.” 

“Yeah,” Sakura swirled the contents of the bottle and watched them form a mini-whirlpool. Her happiness was slowly draining out of her. Ino winking at Shikamaru. Her mother leering about grandkids. The confines of a town where everyone knew their neighbors like the backs of their own hands, watching for deviation. “I know how you feel.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the late post. Real life has been busy for both me and my beta lately but now that I have a few days off I intend to get caught up! I can't thank you enough for all the wonderful comments...


	15. Nothing Gold Can Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recreational drug use, minor character death, and massive amounts of sexual tension ahoy!

Sasuke was still reeling from Thanksgiving when he went back in to work on Saturday. He was glad Sakura was the only other person scheduled to work the floor during his shift, because he had no clue how to act around Naruto anymore. The feel of their thighs pressed together on Kakashi’s couch, Naruto’s arm warm and heavy around his shoulders sent electric shockwaves down his spine, but afterwards Naruto had cheerily announced it was time to go and drove him home like nothing had happened. For a man so honest and free with his affections, he was being frustratingly hard to fathom. 

_Did it mean anything to him? He hugs Sakura all the time and slaps_ _Shikamaru_ _on the ass as a joke._ _You’re overreacting because you’re not a touchy-feely moron._  

He hadn’t the foggiest idea of what he would say the next time they were face-to-face.  

Sakura seemed to encounter a similar problem with him, as she kept opening her mouth like she had something on the tip of her tongue then lapsing back into silence.  

Finally she slapped down a tray of dirty dishes on the counter, looked him square in the eye and spat out, “I don’t have a crush on you.” 

Sasuke paused mid-mop. “What?” 

“I-I don’t like you. Romantically or anything. Maybe I did at first but,” a flush was creeping up her neck. “I want to be your friend. I don’t want any silly gossip to get in the way of that, just so you know.” 

“Okay.”  

“Is that it?” Sakura narrowed her eyes.  

“Yeah, what do you want me to say? I never liked you back so this is best solution.” 

She turned up her nose. “I was hoping for more moping, maybe a passionate confession regretting you never told me your true feelings sooner?” 

“You’re a lot more sarcastic when you don’t have a crush on me,” Sasuke noted. Sakura flushed even more but looked smugly satisfied.  

He glanced at the clock. In a few minutes, he’d be a free man. He finished mopping the floor and said his goodbyes to Sakura, who was staying through dinner. Sasuke stepped out and took a large lungful of fresh, grease-free air. The sun was out for once, and while it was cold, the weather wasn’t bad for a walk.  

A loud honk interrupted his rare moment of peace. Shikamaru’s junky brown Matador rolled up through the parking lot. Naruto was hanging his head out the window like a dog.  

“C’mon loser,” he taunted. “We’re going on an adventure!” 

 

* * *

 

Sasuke rubbed his temples. “So by ‘adventure’ you actually meant ‘a psychotropic-drug induced hallucination’?”  

“Psycha-whatnow?”  

“’Shrooms, Naruto, he means shrooms,” Shikamaru said patiently as he fished around in his backpack.  

“You look like you’re constipated whenever you try to think too hard, don’t hurt yourself,” Sasuke added.  

“You’re… constipated,” Naruto mumbled, kicking Sasuke under the table before getting up to rummage around in Shikamaru’s fridge.  

His kitchen was surprisingly clean, though tell-tale signs of laziness revealed themselves in the crusty pans in the sink, and a stain on the linoleum half-heartedly covered by a rug. From glimpses of other rooms, Sasuke deduced that the apartment was tidy albeit utilitarian in style.  

“Do you live with Ino?” 

Shikamaru gave him a weird look. “God no. A man needs his space. To do things like this for example,” he waved a baggie filled with indeterminate brown lumps under his nose. “She’d freak the fuck out if she knew. Why do you ask?” 

“I figured if you lived here alone this place would be a dump.” 

“I guess looks can be deceiving. Like you, for example. Never pictured Mr. High-and-Mighty would be content to slum with the degenerates.” 

Sasuke scoffed. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” 

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, we all get you’re hot shit, I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting into here, okay? Don’t need you running through town buck-ass nude or curled up crying in my shower.” 

“I can handle myself.” That wasn’t strictly a lie; one didn’t hang around Suigetsu as long as he had without gaining an intimate knowledge of various illicit substances, but hard drugs had always been Sasuke’s area of study, not amusement. It was the chemistry that interested him; how to flood the brain with images and sensations rather than experiencing them himself. Besides, one of the first lessons that Orochimaru had taught him was that junkies made bad businessmen. You couldn’t turn a profit if you were constantly dipping into your own supply.  

“Can we get to the part where we actually take them?” Naruto groused as he sat back down, beer in hand.  

“Bon apetit,” Shikamaru said, tossing them each a square of what Sasuke realized was chocolate. _Clever, disguise the bitter mushroom taste as well as make the drugs appear innocuous at first glance._  

Naruto tipped his piece in a “cheers” gesture. They swallowed and waited for their trip down the rabbit hole.   

 

* * *

 

They drifted back to Shikamaru’s room, which contained a desk, a twin bed, a telescope, and a bookshelf with an eclectic collection ranging from carefully laminated comic books to Plato. Naruto immediately sprawled on the futon while Shikamaru squeezed into the desk chair, hugging his knees to his chest so he could rest them on the seat. For lack of better options, Sasuke leaned against the wall.  

“I don’t feel anything yet,” Naruto whined. “Maybe we should take more?” 

Shikamaru flapped a hand at him. “Don’t be so impatient. Once it kicks in, you’ll know.” He absentmindedly thumbed through a textbook sitting open. “Huh, shit I’ve got a paper due Thursday.” 

“What do you study that gives you so much free time to dick around?” Sasuke asked.  

“Philosophy.” 

_Figures._  

“I’m technically in grad school in the next town over but my advisor’s always travelling and never answers his mail so,” he shrugged, “who knows if I’ll ever graduate? Writing my thesis is a pain in the ass anyway.”  

Naruto made a loud fake-snoring sound. “You got any spinny neon lights ‘n shit? I bet that’d look real cool.”  

"What about you, Sasuke?" Shikamaru asked, ignoring him. "We already know Naruto was bouncing around the country like a pinball; what'd you do before you ended up in Nowheresville?" 

"I was in school for chemistry. Didn't work out."  

To his surprise, Shikamaru didn't press the issue. 

"Sucks, man." A pause. “You ever wonder what it feels like to die?”   

“Wow, way to make it heavy," Naruto said.  

“I don’t mean in a physical sense. I mean like, in a spiritual sense.” His hands had gone slack against his sides and he was staring contemplatively up at the ceiling.  

“It doesn’t feel like anything. You’re gone. A cold, rotting body in the dirt.” Sasuke suppressed a shiver. He could feel something black at the back of his mind tugging him in. A shadow, waiting… 

Shikamaru cut his eyes at Naruto as if questioning why he’d been invited along in the first place, but the blond man was busy inspecting his fingertips.  

“I think bein’ alive is weirder. How you can touch and taste and see things but it’s different for every single person an’ you’ll never get to feel how it is to be someone else.” 

Shikamaru hummed in agreement.  

Sasuke was suddenly aware of how many nerve endings he had. How each and every one of them could sense the cloth pressed against his skin, then the hardness of the wall through that. He leaned away and felt his shirt shift with him. It was nearly the same feeling he'd had sitting on the couch next to Naruto on Thanksgiving- a heightened awareness coupled with buzzing electricity. If he tried that now, what would it feel like? 

As if he'd read his thoughts, Naruto curled his legs up catlike. Sasuke wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and managed to sit down next to him without falling over. The air seemed to thicken, little hazy lines of heat crept out of the corner of his eye.    

“I think the closest you can get to knowing someone like that is through sex,” Naruto grinned wolfishly and stretched, revealing a small crescent of skin around his hips as he did so.  

_He did that on purpose_. A cold trail of sweat slid down his back.  

“I agree. Ino and I, that’s how we communicate. We don’t have all that much to talk about, but between the sheets we _connect_ , man, in ways I’d never expect.” 

“Is that so?” Naruto’s eyes hadn’t left Sasuke’s. A faint hint of a smile remained as he inched closer, but Sasuke was overwhelmed by the color leaping off him. Loud, discordant orange expanding to fill the room with energy until it was liable to explode.  

“Where’s your bathroom?” Sasuke blurted out. There wasn’t enough space for the three of them. Naruto was a supernova.   

“Down the hall,” Shikamaru’s face was unfocused and dreamy. He yawned.  

“I’ll show you where it is,” Naruto grabbed his wrist and every nerve sang out at his touch. Warmth shot up his arm. Orange, sunlight, summer. Then they were in the hall, Naruto’s pupils huge and inches from his own.  

“We could fuck if you want to.” 

Sasuke shoved him against the wall with a grunt. He fisted his hand in his hair and tugged sideways until their lips dragged together in a tangle of tongue and teeth. Naruto gasped and bucked up against him, his thighs trembling with exertion. Colors exploded behind his eyes. This sensation was a deep, vibrant purple.   

He had no idea what he was doing, only that it felt good, and right, and safe.  

“Bite me,” Naruto whispered in his ear. Sasuke sank his teeth into the space where his collarbone jutted out and was rewarded with breathy curses.  

_What does he want? Am I a quick fuck_ _cuz_ _he’s horny in the moment?_  

Naruto was working at his zipper with one hand, tugging up his t-shirt with another. Sasuke saw green. Freshly-mowed grass, velvet, emerald. Naruto’s hands moved deftly inside his pants and he half-stifled a cry.  

“Wait.” Sasuke felt a shameful flush dusting his ears as Naruto stilled.  

“You don’t have to be afraid. Shikamaru’s totally asleep by now. It happens every time.” 

“It’s not that!” He snapped, though he couldn’t deny paranoia was creeping up on him. The apartment was so quiet. Someone had to be watching.  

“I thought you wanted-” 

“I don’t know what I want, okay?”  

Bitter bile crept up his throat. He already had enough to hide. He couldn’t take one more secret.  

Naruto stepped back, bewildered. “I’m sorry if we went too fast. Usually guys want me to get ‘em off as fast as possible so-” 

“I’m not some truckstop jerkoff!” Sasuke spat. “I have a future.” He didn’t bother gauging Naruto’s reaction. He stomped to the front door, grabbed his coat and left without a backwards glance.  

 

* * *

 

The streets of Bedford Falls were slightly distorted, like he was walking through a dream. Sasuke shook his head to try and clear it, but that only made him dizzy. The colors were still obnoxiously bright and over-saturated but now he could feel the black sinking in, pulling him closer.  

_I need to be normal. Get a good, well-paying, boring job, and work until I die. But not before having a couple kids to carry on the family name._ _Orochimaru_ _was right. The whole world’s a big stinking crock of shit and the only way to truly get what you want is to take it. Fuck everyone else._  

Sasuke still felt the ghost of Naruto’s touch around his waistband.  

The woods were private. No one in town to see him stumbling around high off his ass in broad daylight. He followed the heady scent of rotting leaves out of town and found himself arriving at One-Eyed Jacks.  

_A drink._ _A drink to put things in perspective._ _Tobi_ _knows what to do._  

He raised an eyebrow as Sasuke collapsed against the bar, but didn’t comment other than to ask him if he wanted “the usual.” 

“Scotch,” Sasuke croaked.  

Tobi whistled low. “Sounds like you either got real lucky or real unlucky, pal. Judging by how pale and googly-eyed you are, I’m going to guess the latter.” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“No need, just take care of yourself, okay? I don’t want to scrape you off my floor,” he patted his shoulder lightly as he handed over the drink.  

Sasuke sat at the bar for a few hours as he came down, easing the empty ache inside him with liberal amounts of alcohol, though at some point Tobi forced a sandwich in him and made him alternate shots with water. 

“Do you mind if I turn on the news?”

Sasuke shook his head numbly.  

He clicked on the television mounted on the wall behind him, the only thing that looked remotely new in the whole building. A stern-faced newscaster flickered to life.  

“We come to you today with the latest news on what is now being referred to as an East Coast drug war.” 

Tobi scoffed, “They haven’t talked about anything else for weeks.” 

Sasuke shifted forward on the stool until the bar was pressing uncomfortably into his midsection. 

“It seems they’ve found another body connected to Orochimaru, the Boston drug lord found dead a month ago.” 

He clutched his glass so tight he feared it might shatter in his hands. He didn’t want to hear what was coming next.  

“A man identified only by the name Juugo was discovered this morning in an alleyway behind…” 

The newscaster’s voice droned on but all Sasuke could hear was static.  

_Juugo’s_ _dead._ _Danzo_ _got to him. Who’s next?_ _Suigetsu_ _?_ _Karin? Has he found us already?_ He forced himself to listen with dull horror.  

“There was evidence of a struggle as well as torture. The same pattern that was found on Orochimaru himself. The police have issued an official statement that evidence suggests these deaths are linked. The most likely speculation is that this is some sort of retaliation from a rival gang, perhaps attempting to overthrow Orochimaru’s long-held reign over the city streets.” 

_Juugo_ _was the most gentle. He’s not cut out for life on the run_ _. I bet he tried to track us down after he heard about_ _Orochimaru_ _. He wanted to make sure we were safe._ He swallowed down a hard, hot lump in his throat. For some reason all he could picture was Juugo crying over a stupid fucking stray cat that he nursed back to health before the landlord found out and made him get rid of it. The way he rolled his eyes but smiled while Karin and Suigetsu hatched impossible schemes. How he'd subsequently fight anyone who tried to hurt them with a berserk rage, ignoring any injuries he might suffer.    

“Commissioner Danzo of the Violent Crimes taskforce was reached via telephone for comment. He said ‘Now is the time for us all to be vigilant in protecting ourselves and our communities. These people pose a direct threat to our way of life and must be dealt with accordingly.’ If anyone has any information regarding Orochimaru’s associates they are asked to come forward.”  

“Hey kid, are you alright? You look like you’re about to hurl.” 

_How much longer can we last?_ _Danzo’s_ _leading the_ _investigation,_ _no one will ever suspect he’s the dirty one. I’d never be able to prove it without admitting guilt._  

Sasuke looked into Tobi’s face, earnest and concerned.  

_He cares about me._ _If I tell him what’s really been going on maybe he and_ _Kakashi_ _can help?_  

He thought about Naruto, a cocky grin on his lips, teasing. About Sakura, with her tender hands and inner fire. He saw them both bleeding out, brains dashed along the sidewalk.  

“I’m fine. A little shaky. I need a walk to clear my head.” Sasuke reached into his wallet and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. “Keep the change.” 

“Are you sure you’re fine? I’ve seen that look before, and it’s not fine. At least let me drive you home.” 

“Don’t worry about it. Bye, Tobi. Thanks for everything tonight.” 

Sasuke felt his worried gaze boring into him as he left. Darkness had fallen. Shapes moved in the shadows of the trees and he closed his eyes, willing away the last dregs of the mushrooms. He lit a cigarette with shaking hands. No time to waste. He’d go straight to the motel, pack his things and be on the next bus out of town. The destination didn’t matter as long as it was far, far away.  

A twig cracked behind him. Sasuke barely registered the noise before a hood descended over his head. Something heavy hit him from behind and he was falling, falling… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun Dunnnnn
> 
> (I struggled more than I thought I would with this chapter and I played with it after it got beta'd so I apologize for any glaring mistakes. Sorry/not sorry about the cliffhanger!)


	16. If We Sleep Together Will You Be My Friend?

_Boys_ , Sakura thought to herself as she watched Sasuke pile into Shikamaru’s junkmobile. Still, she smiled inwardly since it seemed he was finally getting acclimated to “the gang.”  

She served a cup of coffee to a tired businessman in a rumpled suit and tuned him out as began to describe in detail his thirteen hour drive up the coast, nodding sympathetically every now and then.  He left a sizeable tip, then was gone out the door before she could blink. Another thirteen hours to go before he arrived home to his wife and children. Sakura sighed wistfully as she imagined a son and a daughter, racing out the door to envelope him in hugs, bury their noses into his collar that smelled of smoke and aftershave.  

The phone rang. Sakura answered it with a mumbled “Double R Diner, how may I help you?” 

“What time do you get off?” Ino asked without preamble.  

“Eight. And you know we aren’t allowed to take personal calls on the clock,” She cast a nervous glance at the office door.  

“Let me guess, it’s as dead as a doornail in there and Kakashi’s off in his hidey-hole?” 

“Well, yeah.” 

“I promise not to snitch on you,” Ino said sarcastically.  

“What do you want?” Sakura’s heart rate was already elevated from breaking the rules, but hearing Ino’s voice was making it worse. She grabbed a rag and vigorously wiped the cash register to burn off some nervous energy.  

“We should have a girls’ night when you get off shift! Shikamaru’s ditching me to hang out with the vagabond and Mr. Broody,” she moaned. “And the rumor mill’s been going crazy about you and Lee so I need details STAT.” 

“I’ll probably be really tired. I’m working a double today.” Sakura’s heart had increased in tempo so much that she expected it to fly out through her mouth at any second. Time alone. With Ino. That had never been a daunting prospect before, but now her hand was leaving a thick film of sweat on the receiver.  

“I’ll buy us a bottle of wine. I’m guessing you’ll probably need it if half of what I’ve been hearing about Thanksgiving is true.” Her voice softened sympathetically. “I can do your nails too, if you want. Sounds like you deserve a little pampering.”     

Sakura couldn’t rightly refuse an offer like that.  

 

* * *

 

She bit back a scream of frustration as she tossed another shirt into the pile of rejected outfits at the foot of her bed. Sakura stared down the remaining clothes in her closet. The clothes did not yield.  

_What am I supposed to wear? If I showed up in a dress and heels I'd look like I was trying too hard, but I don't want to look like a total slob either._ _Ino_ _already calls the yellow_ _v-neck_ _my "Get Laid" shirt so that's out, and if I wear a skirt, my legs will get cold._  

Sakura crossed her arms.  

_You're the one making this hard on yourself. Stop pretending it'll turn into a date._ _Ino_ _is your best friend. She's dating a man. You'll only wind up getting hurt if you hope for more. Maybe in another universe, or in another town, things would be different._  

In the end she decided on her oldest pair of jeans with holes worn through the knees and a chunky sweater. Her hair was still thrown up in a messy bun from work. She gave herself a disparaging once-over in the mirror.  

_Sex bomb._  

Something slammed into her window and she jumped, whirling around to face her assailant. Naruto grinned back at her from behind the glass.  

"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed, unfastening the lock. "First you break into my apartment, and now you're creeping around like a burglar. Haven't you ever heard of knocking at the front door?" 

"I miiight still be a little higher than I thought," Naruto said as he wiggled into her bedroom. His foot caught on the windowsill and he fell sprawling on the carpet.  

"What did you take?" Sakura resisted the urge to lecture.  

"Just some shrooms. I'll be fine in an hour or two." He didn't move from his prone position on the floor. 

"Is that so?" She prodded him gently with her foot. "If that's the case, then I take it you aren't here for makeshift medical advice?"  

"It's Sasuke." His voice was muffled by the fibers.  

_I_ _no_ _won't mind if I'm a little late,_ Sakura thought desperately as she sat down cross-legged next to him.  

"Tell me what's wrong." 

Naruto took a deep breath. "We all decided to get high together at Shikamaru's- don't tell Ino, she'd totally flip- an' thigs were going pretty good. Sasuke was only a little bit of a killjoy but he an' Shikamaru weren't trying to out sass each other at least an' I could feel good vibes off him or whatever so we went out into the halls together, an' well-" the back of his neck reddened and he squirmed around on the floor to bury his face in his hands.  

"And?" Sakura tried to block out the images flooding her mind- illustrations from The Joys of Gay Sex, only now with her friends' faces on them.  

"He kissed me," Naruto whispered, almost too soft to hear. "And well we started going further but all the sudden he got freaked out and left. Haven't heard from him since. Did I do something wrong?"  

"I think maybe you were moving a little too fast for him," Sakura said gently. "He's probably never, err done anything with another guy. Did you tell him that you had feelings for him?" 

"Of course not!" He snapped, turning his face up towards her, horrified. "That asshole'd probably laugh in my face. I bet he doesn't even HAVE feelings." 

"You know that's not true." 

"Maybe." 

"Anyways," Sakura made a conscious attempt not to look at her wristwatch, "I think the two of you need to sit down and talk. With your words. And yes, he might still reject you, but you need to be patient. It's a lot to wrap your head around." _Lord knows I'm still trying._  

Naruto mumbled something unintelligible into the floor, but nodded.  

She stood up, brushing lint off her palms. "Now, I'm going to leave to meet Ino but you're welcome to stay here until your sober. Just lock the door on your way out. If I catch you trying to climb in my window again I'm going to let you fall and break your own stupid neck.  

Naruto gave her the thumbs-up sign.  

"Get some rest." 

"Good luck on your date!" He called after her.  

 

* * *

 

 

Sakura was glad for the fifteen-minute walk to Ino's, as it gave her time to burn off the heat in her muscles. 

_It's not a date. I can't romance her like Naruto did_ _Sasuke_ _. We have too much history. There's too much risk involved._  

She felt a pang of jealousy. Even though he was having his own problems, Naruto was comfortable with himself and with his identity. _He's not fumbling around in the dark._  

When she arrived, Ino wrapped her in a hug so tight she swore the other woman could feel her heart beating through her coat.  

"I'm so glad you're here."  

"Is something wrong?"  

Ino shrugged. "I've just been thinking lately... with Lee and Shikamaru and everything we haven't been connecting the same way we used to. I missed you." 

"Don't get sappy on me now," Sakura mumbled around a lump in her throat. "You're the one that's supposed to be taking care of ME tonight, remember?" 

"Yeah, yeah, get your ass inside. Everything's all set up." 

Ino ushered her back to her bedroom. A rainbow display of nail polish was lined up on the vanity, and a plate of cheese and crackers was delicately balanced on a pile of laundry.  

"Milady," Ino said with a hint of a smirk. 

Sakura flopped down on purple bedspread, kicked off her shoes, and wiggled her toes.  

"Hop to it, servant girl. I think I'll go with the blue one."  

Ino stuck her tongue out but settled down next to her and unscrewed the bottle of nail polish.  

"Okay, so what exactly happened on Thanksgiving? I've heard like, six different versions, and I don't think it's possible they could all be true. Plus Lee isn't exactly a gossip so I don't know how the whole thing blew up so fast in the first place."  

_Probably my mother, telling all her friends, who told their friends until one of MY friends overheard._  

She grunted. "Do I have to talk about it?" 

"I think it'll make you feel better to vent. Plus then I can justify punching anyone who's going around spreading lies." Ino smiled demurely.  

Sakura looked up at the ceiling, as if the answers were written there.  

"Lee proposed." 

"WHAT?!" 

Something warm ran down her leg as Ino spilled the nail polish, spreading a blue stain down her calf.  

"You're kidding." 

"I wish I was." 

"So you decided to break up with him right then and there? Girl, are you crazy?" Ino grabbed a handful of tissues and began scrubbing at the mess.  

Sakura avoided her eyes. "Knowing he felt that strongly about me was... weird. Uneven. I wasn't going to return those feelings so it was like I was in some sort of emotional debt to him. I didn't want that so I ended it."  

"Fair enough. I don't see what's wrong with having a guy who totally adores you though. Even if he does have creepy eyebrows."  

"He was a bit much. Maybe you're into the whole hero-worship thing, but it freaked me out a little to be honest."  

Ino moved her hand from Sakura's calf to her foot, gently cupping the heel and raising it so she could see the nails better. Sakura suppressed a shiver.   

"I think I'm just starved for attention. Shikamaru's great and all but he likes his alone time, plus he's working on top of classes so we don't actually get to see each other all that often." 

"Really? I was under the impression that you guys were joined at the hip." 

Ino blew a stray strand of hair out of her face. "Well, I didn't want to seem like I was constantly leaning on you for support. That I could handle myself in a serious relationship for once. So maybe I made it seem like things were going better than they actually were." 

"Oh."  

"I'm sorry."  

Sakura shook her head. "I know what you mean. It was the same way when I went to Seattle, remember? I kept telling you about all the parties I was going to, all the fun new people I met, but in reality I was spending most nights holed up in the library. I was so homesick."  

"You still want to get out of here eventually, right?" Ino's brow furrowed in concentration as she started in on the pinkie toe.  

"Maybe. It didn't work out so well last time. I wonder if I'm just not meant to go out into the world. It's safe here, familiar." 

"Oh come on. You're too smart for this dump, Sakura," her voice took on a bitter edge. "It'd be a waste for you to sit around waiting tables for the rest of your life." 

"What about you?"  

Ino snorted.  

"I'm serious. Nobody's forcing you to stay." 

"Other foot. Careful not to kick anything." 

Sakura dropped the subject and let Ino finish in silence. Her toes were a deep, majestic blue that offset the puffiness her ankles had acquired from spending so much time on her feet.  Wordlessly, they switched places and Sakura selected a delicate pink for Ino's fingernails.  

"Did you want to talk about what's going on with Shikamaru?" 

"Not especially. I'm getting bored is all. Plus he can be soooo stubborn." 

"Imagine that," Sakura said wryly and Ino smacked her upside the head.  

"I need a man that can fulfill me emotionally AND sexually. Honestly, I don't think he exists." 

Sakura focused intently on the slender curve of her wrists, jamming the brush back in the bottle to hide her shaking.  

"Um, this is the point where you're supposed to deny it and validate my feelings."  

"W-well I-" 

_Get a hold of yourself! You can't keep pining like this._  

"What is it Sakura? You've been acting strange lately." Ino reached over and tilted her chin up so they were face to face. Sakura swallowed hard.  

_You can do it. Make it casual._  

"What if he doesn't exists? What if you're looking for uh, a lady?"  

Ino threw back her head and laughed. "Like a lesbian?" 

Sakura squinted at her nails, trying to see through blurred vision. _See? It was stupid to get your hopes up._  

"I mean, I've kissed a girl before but let's be realistic here-" 

Her heart stopped. "You-"  

"Oh that's right. You were in still in Seattle." Now it was Ino's turn to look away. "It um, wasn't anything serious. I was drunk and lonely! There was this girl at the bar making eyes at me so I figured why not? It was only the one time and I didn't even know her name, so that doesn't hardly count," she finished in a rush. 

The flyaway piece of hair was back, dangling along the bridge of her nose. This time Sakura brushed it away for her. She could scarcely breathe.  

"What was it like?"  

Ino raised an eyebrow. "Why do you want to know?"  

Sakura froze in place, her hand brushing Ino's earlobe. "I-" her throat wasn't working very well. "I just-" A hot tear trickled down her cheek. "I think I want to kiss you." 

Ino took Sakura's hand and held it to the side of her face. "I think I want to kiss you too." She leaned forward and pressed their lips together.  

Her mouth was so soft, and tasted vaguely of lipgloss. Sakura was tempted to pinch herself, to make sure this wasn't another dream, but Ino was too solid, too real under her fingertips.  

_It's too good to be true._  

Ino pulled away.  

"Fuck," she whispered in a tone that was part awe, part fear.  

Sakura placed her hands in her lap and hated the way they trembled. 

"S-sorry." 

"Don't stop." 

Sakura moved in for another kiss so fast that their noses bumped together. Ino laughed into her mouth as they both fell sideways onto the mattress, all awkward limbs, unwilling to break apart even for a second. She was giddy; drunk without a single drop of alcohol. She let her fingers run over Ino's collarbone, relished in the soft moan as Ino squirmed beneath her in response.  

_I like kissing_ , she realized in a dream-like way.  

Ino wrapped her arms around her neck to draw her in closer. Sakura accidentally nipped her bottom lip but the startled gasp she made was worth the awkwardness. They were hanging half off the bed, their feet brushing the floor. Sakura placed one leg in between Ino's thighs and pressed forward. Ino hooked one foot around the back of Sakura's knee and held her there until she was shaking from the friction, little spikes of pleasure shooting up into her belly.   

Eventually she flopped back down next to her, flushed and sweaty. She felt he should say something, but the words had long since fled, leaving behind a simple warm glow.  

"Wow," Ino breathed. Then, "What do we do now?"  

 "Just hold me." 

Sakura closed her eyes and tried to memorize the moment; the feel of the bedspread underneath her, Ino's hair tickling her face. She wanted the memory to be infused with the scent of Ino's perfume, the sound of her breath coming in short gasps. No matter what happened after, they would always have this.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you all for reading (and RedBeardtheNotPirate for the beta)! I've started a new job so my life's been pretty hectic lately- I swear I'll get around to responding individually to your comments, but for the moment I have read them and they make me extremely happy. 
> 
> I know I am a bad person for the cliffhanger last chapter but Sasuke will be back next update, I promise ;)


	17. Burning Bright

Consciousness came slowly, like water dripping from a leaky faucet. At first, there was only a nauseating throb at the base of his skull and the sound of his own ragged breathing. He tried to move to touch the wound on the back of his head but something cold and metal jarred his wrists.  

_Handcuffs_ _._  

He tried to think around the pain, but it kept shooting through his head in large spikes that stilted his thoughts.  

_One-_ _Eye'd_ _Jack's._ _Juugo_ _._  

 He panicked for a moment when he opened his eyes and was met with more blackness, until he felt cloth brushing against his lashes.  

_Someone came up from behind._  

Dread settled in the pit of his stomach. He pressed harder against his bonds and discovered his ankles were bound too, probably to the legs of a chair as he seemed to be in a sitting position. The movement sent another wave of nausea through him so he was forced to stop and regroup, breathing shallowly.  

_Not dead yet. Must be information he wants. Karin?_ _Suigetsu_ _?_  

Footsteps grew closer. They sounded heavy and hollow, as if they were walking on rotting wood. A light, muted through cloth. He closed his eyes and let himself go limp. Perhaps his captor would leave him alone if he were still unconscious.  

Cold water splashed over him. He jerked his head up, neck instantly screaming in pain. The blindfold was ripped off and he hissed involuntarily as his eyes struggled to adjust. Lightning shocked through his temples. A hand gripped his chin, forcing it upwards with a cruel twist. The light grew brighter and he writhed against the cuffs. It was drilling through his eye sockets, directly into his brain.  

"I think you know why you're here," said the voice that had followed him through his nightmares for the past couple months.  

He was released with a small shove that sent the chair tipping back on two legs. For a moment, he was suspended, weightless, then equilibrium returned as all four legs slammed back to the floor. He groaned. 

"Let's not waste time." 

"Wha' do you want?" His lips cracked at the effort of speaking. He squinted through one eye but the light shining behind his captor was still too bright to make out any distinct features.  

_Plausible deniability._  

"Don't play stupid, boy," Danzo snarled. "I've cut off the head of the snake, but there are still a few little worms crawling around making life difficult. You're going to help me find them." 

"Izzat what you told Juugo?"  

He expected the slap and it did not disappoint. The chair rocked back again, even closer to the tipping point, leaving him breathless. His cheek was numb.  

_I'm not getting out of here._  

He held his silence for a few more minutes. Danzo scoffed and stood with a rustle of cloth.  

"I'll leave you here to think on it a while." 

Darkness fell again.  

 

* * *

 

Whether Danzo was gone for three hours or three days, Sasuke couldn't tell. He was only aware of his parched throat and the maddening itch of drying blood that he couldn’t scratch. He tugged half-heartedly at the handcuffs, but succeeded only in bruising his wrists.  

_How long did it take_ _Juugo_ _to die? Was he killed because he finally broke down and told_ _Danzo_ _what he wanted or because he refused to?_  

Sasuke said a silent prayer of thanks that he hadn't the foggiest idea of Suigetsu or Karin's whearabouts.  

_But you left in a hurry,_ a niggling voice whispered at the back of his brain. _Nobody_ _k_ _n_ _ew_ _where you were going either. How did he find you?_  

He half-entertained thoughts of a daring rescue, of Naruto breaking through the walls with the local sheriff in tow, but even that he knew would end in a hail of gunfire, not a happy reunion. 

Lastly he thought of his family, though he tried the best to keep those memories at arm's length, squinting at them as if they were too bright to look at directly. He couldn't remember if he'd told his mother he loved her before he hung up when he'd called before Thanksgiving. They'd eaten without him, oblivious to the fact that he'd never grace their table again.     

_Will they ever forgive me?_  

His father would be disappointed, mouth curved deeper into a permanent frown. It was his own fault he'd gotten messed up in all this after all; socializing with the wrong people, trading hard work for promises of instant gratification. It went against everything the Uchiha name stood for, or so he'd been told.  

His mother would cry, though perhaps more for the person she thought he'd been than the person he'd become.  

Itachi... 

Sasuke flinched, then sat up straight with a gasp, scrambling to remember the last time they'd spoken.  

Winter break. The semester after he'd first started working for Orochimaru. Itachi's dark, piercing gaze followed him around the living room, making him itch.  

_"What do you want?"_  

" _You're doing well in school." A statement, not a question._  

"So?"  

_"_ _Do you enjoy your classes?"_  

_Sasuke_ _shrugged._  

_"Do you feel safe there?"_  

_"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"_  

_"I'm you_ _r_ _older brother. I worry about you."_  

_He'd snorted that time, full of confidence that he'd never get caught. That_ _Orochimaru's_ _reputation would protect him. "I can take care of myself, thanks. I'm a big boy now."_  

_Itachi's_ _serious expression didn't waver._  

_"Make sure you know how to defend yourself. They made us read this during training. You should too." He pressed a book into his hands._  

_"Wait, i_ _sn't all your shit classified?"_  

_Itachi_ _didn't answer, merely walked out of the room_.   

Sasuke cursed himself for skimming through a few chapters before leaving it lying impudently on the coffee table.  

_What did it say about handcuff escapes? Something about breaking your thumb so you could slip ou_ _t_. 

He looked down at his fingers and winced. Even if he did escape, where would he go? The only option left was to stay and fight, try and use the element of surprise against Danzo. It wouldn't end well.  

_I tried and failed. Can't even be a good coward. The least I can do now is keep everyone safe._  


	18. Reaching for Your Hand

A cacophony of birdsong exploded outside Ino's window, shaking Sakura from her doze. She lay as still as possible on top of the sheets, not daring to breathe as she studied the way Ino's body wrapped perfectly around her own- from the sharp edge of her collarbone against the back of Sakura's neck all the way down to their feet, tangled together.  

Ino groaned and mumbled sleepy nonsense. She threw an arm around Sakura's waist and squeezed tight. At that moment her alarm clock decided to chime in with the birds and she awoke fully with a curse. She sat up to slap the snooze button, then flopped back down with a dramatic sigh.  

Sakura peered at the readout.  

"Doesn't your shift start soon?" 

"Dun' wanna go to work," Ino mumbled as she wiggled in closer to her. "Can't we skip today and stay here together?" 

"In bed, you mean?" Sakura asked archly. Ino pinched her in the side. 

"Pervert."  

Sakura shifted on the mattress, aware of her greasy hair and wrinkly slept-in clothes. Ino was similarly rumpled, but her lips still held traces of smudged lipstick that leant her a pouty starlit air. Sakura pressed  kiss to the side of her mouth with a small burst of joy at the simplicity of the action.  

_I can do this. I can wake up next to her, and brush hair off her forehead, and kiss her knuckles._  

She felt Ino smile against her cheek.  

"Should I make breakfast?" 

"Please." 

Ino swung her legs over the edge of the bed, pausing as her toes met the section of the carpet stained with nail polish. Her shoulders sagged for a moment.  

"I guess we'll just have to cover it up somehow."  

Sakura squeezed her shoulder. "It'll be alright." 

But Ino shrugged her off with a breezy laugh and headed for the kitchen.  

 

* * *

 

The shapeless aprons, as unflattering as they were, still couldn't hide the lovely soft curve of Ino's hips.    

_Sh_ _e_ _knows it too,_ Sakura thought as she watched her put a slight sashay in her step as she left her newest table. The customer, a grizzled older guy, watched on appreciatively.    

_Couple that with the low-cut shirts and the way she calls everybody "sweetie"- no wonder she makes more tips than me._       

"Uh, Sakura?"   

_I wonder how she does her hair like that, so there's just enough hanging out of her ponytail that it looks endearing and cute. Whenever I try, it's like I stuck my finger in an electric socket. Does she notice I'm watching her?_    

Ino spared the barest of glances backwards at her, lips quirked up in a smile. She yawned, deliberately stretching her chest out.    

_Bitch!_    

"Dude-"   

Sakura yelped as the coffee she'd been pouring ran over the edges of the cup and scalded her fingers.    

Shikamaru shook his head from behind the serving station.    

"I don't wanna tell you how to do your job but maybe you should pay attention when you're dealing with hot things."   

"Don't you have orders to make?" She snapped as she ran her throbbing hand under cold water.    

Shikamaru shrugged.  "Maybe I would if my girlfriend stopped flirting with the customers long enough to bring me any." Bitterness crept into his voice. "I thought you were supposed to be the responsible one. Can you get your act together? Sheesh we're already short-staffed enough with Naruto and Sasuke bein' no-shows. Idiots are probably still hungover," he muttered under his breath.     

_Stupid._    

Sakura ducked her head down to hide the tears welling in her eyes. She rubbed at the burn, which was fast turning red and blotchy.

_You're acting like a horny teenager._ _Besides, it's not fair to_ _Shikamaru_ _. Is she going to break up with him?_    

"Can someone please clean off table four? We've got a group waiting."    

Sakura grabbed a busbin, cursing Naruto and Sasuke for their absence. As she stacked crusty plates, she stole another glance back at Ino. She was leaning against the register, sweet-talking Shikamaru judging by the number of times she batted her lashes. It seemed to work too, as Shikamaru's scowl softened and he bent over to give her a quick peck on the temple. 

Even though she noticed Ino stiffen imperceptibly at the touch, Sakura was flooded with jealousy.  

_I don't want to have to rely on stolen kisses for the rest of my life. I want everyone to know I love her, damnit._  

She swallowed her anger, where it stayed simmering in the pit of her stomach until the end of her shift.  

 

* * *

 

As soon as Sakura removed her apron for the day, she ignored Ino's thinly veiled invitations and marched straight over to Naruto's house. She hammered on his door, shifting from foot to foot as the cold bit at her bare legs. Five minutes passed, then ten.    

"You'd better be in there and you'd better be REALLY sick because we just got slammed today. Since both of our bussers were playing hooky we-"   

The door opened a crack, and a single blue eye peered out at her.    

"Sasuke didn't come to work today ether?"   

"No," Sakura said shortly. "I was stuck running around scraping dirty plates and wiping up ketchup stains for eight hours. Let me in, I'm freezing."   

Naruto stood aside. He was wearing an oversized holey t-shirt and dark purple bags under his eyes.    

"You look like shit," Sakura remarked, still fuming over lost tips and Shikamaru's public displays of affection.    

"Sorry about work. I'm just worried is all. Something doesn't feel right. I was up all night. Tried to get a hold of Sasuke to talk things out like you said but he won't answer. I didn't want to go into work and make things awkward so..." He trailed off.   

_If you've been trying to call him all night he's probably unplugged the phone by now._    

She softened.  "I'm sure he's moping around same as you. Honestly, the two of you are the most dramatic people I've ever met. And Ino can be quite the handful. Why don't you give him a little time to cool off before you force a conversation on him?" _Lord knows that's like pulling teeth._    

Naruto made a face but motioned her inside. His apartment was dingier than before, with an overflowing trash can tucked into the corner and a large pile of dirty laundry serving as the room's centerpiece. He'd plugged a hotplate within arms reach of the couch. A coffee pot perched on top. To Sakura's horror, she realized it was filled with noodles.    

"Speaking of Ino," he said as he busied himself with his makeshift meal. Sakura made a mental note to buy him some vegetables next time she went grocery shopping. "Have you two, yanno, sealed the deal?" He waggled his eyebrows.    

"What? No! Of course not. She's _still in a relationship_ if you haven't noticed."   

"So you haven't told her how you felt?"   

"This conversation is supposed to be me lecturing you about your dysfunctional relationship, not the other way around," Sakura huffed, kicking a crusty pair of jeans out of the way so she could sit down.     

"Looks like it's time to return the favor."    

"Well um, we kissed?"   

"Hell yeah girl, high-five!"   

Sakura ignored his proffered hand. She tucked her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her thighs.    

"We didn't really talk about anything it just sort of...happened. I don't know if it even meant anything to her. Even if it did, what are we supposed to do? We can't just start dating! Maybe people can do that in New York or Seattle or whatever, but that's not the way things work around here."    

"Trust me, I know," Naruto said humorlessly. He brushed at his lip, where a faint scar from the truckers' attack still remained. "But that doesn't mean ya hafta give up. I mean it," he added when Sakura snorted in disbelief, "Shit's not gonna be easy for us but if we keep fightin' eventually nobody's gonna be able to ignore us. Follow your own advice an' talk to her."    

"I guess I am being hypocritical."   

Naruto nudged her with his shoulder and spoke around a mouthful of noodles. "I'll make ya a promise. I'll go get Sasuke if you have a sit-down with Ino. Maybe even on her face?"   

"Don't push it, dirtbag." Sakura shoved him back with a wry smile.    

 

* * *

 

Two hours later, there was still no sign of Sasuke. Naruto kept glancing from the clock to the phone and back again, worrying his lip until a small red mark appeared.  

"Do you want to swing by the motel with me to check?" Sakura finally asked.  

"Okay yeah, that sounds good. Thank you." 

The whole way to the motel, Naruto was even more jittery than usual, his eyes darting around as if searching for an unseen enemy.  

Sasuke didn't emerge from his room. Naruto cursed, cajoled, pleaded and threatened, but to no avail.  

"Fine you stupid bastard, have it your way!" He kicked viciously at the door but it didn't budge. Sakura was tempted to bang her head against the nearest wall.  

"Maybe he went out?" She offered. "You know how he likes to take those long, broody walks." But doubt was starting to creep into her mind as well.  

_He's stubborn but I don't think he'd blow the two of us off that easily. We've been here for half an hour. Eventually he gets tired and lets Naruto in. That should've happened by now. And it's getting late._ _Chances_ _are we would've seen him walking through town on out way over. He's too paranoid to be out by himself at night._  

Naruto sat down with his back against the wall, forehead pressed against his knees.   

"What if he skipped town?" He asked the tobacco- stained carpet.  

Sakura worried a hangnail. "I don't know..." 

"Think about it. He's always goin' on about how he has no attachments and he could just up an' leave whenever like he's gracing us with his presence or something. What if," he took a shaky breath. "What if I freaked him out so bad he decided to cut an' run?"  

Sakura's stomach flipped over uneasily. "He'd give notice at the diner though, right? Or leave us a note?"  

"Who knows? I sure as hell can't read him."  

"Well there's one way to find out." 

Sakura approached the check-in desk and gave a small cough. A large, graying man put down his newspaper with a huff.  

"Whaddya want?" 

"We'd like to stay the night in this, er lovely establishment. In room one-fourteen please," she said as prim as possibly.  

"Can't. It's taken. We got lotsa other rooms open though. What's so special about that one?" He narrowed his eyes.  

"N-nothing. We'll be going." She grabbed Naruto by the wrist. The clerk watched them for a moment before opening his newspaper back up with a decisive snap.  

 

* * *

 

"Somethin' fishy's going on, I know it!" Naruto hissed once they were out of earshot.  

Sakura twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "What do you think we should do? Call the police? Report him missing? I'd hate to jump to conclusions here and wind up looking like an idiot." 

He blanched, "No, we can't do that!" 

"Why not? What else would you suggest?" She snapped back. Her feet ached and hunger gnawed at her stomach. _I swear if it turns up he's been drinking at One-Eyed Jack's this whole time I'm going to punch both of them through a wall._  

Naruto shuffled his feet, his expression stone-serious. "What do you know about Sasuke? From before he came here, I mean." 

"Well, he was wait-listed at West Point so he went to Tufts instead," Sakura frowned and tapped her chin. "I think he has an older brother who went there? I remember him saying something about how his family had a strict military background. He never seemed to want to talk about it much, so I didn't press." 

Naruto blew out a long breath. "He was mixed up in something bad. Like, running from the law bad." 

"And you were going to tell me this WHEN?" Sakura balled her fists to keep from exploding. Her knees shook with the effort of staying upright. She felt she might collapse under the weight of another lie.  

He cringed, muttered an apology before going back to staring at the scrubby weeds poking through cracks in the cement.   

"I didn't get the full story. All I know is that he's hiding from some bastard police chief an' if he gets found he's dead meat. That's all he told me, I swear." He looked up at her, pleading.  

Sakura's head was spinning. _You think you know a person, then they drop a bomb like this on you_ _._ _He never reached out, never asked for help. Stupid, stubborn-_  

"We have to keep looking," She said desperately. "Before we panic, we have to make absolutely sure Sasuke hasn't holed up in a bar, gotten lost in the woods, or left town of his own volition. There are a bunch of perfectly reasonable explanations why we haven't found him yet."    

_B_ _ut what if he doesn't turn up?_  

The question hung unspoken between them like a ghost, sending shivers down their spines.  

 

* * *

 

Sakura collapsed onto her bed shortly after midnight. Sasuke was still nowhere to be found. Naruto had insisted on staying out, combing through the woods, but she was so tired she could barely see, even with the help of a dimming flashlight. Her body was utterly exhausted but sleep still wouldn't come, with her mind playing a cat-and-mouse game of worst case scenarios.  

At last she gave up tossing and turning, and shuffled into the kitchen for a glass of warm milk. Her hands shook as she poured. While the stove heated up, Sakura rested her head against the counter. Her eyelids fluttered.  

_Maybe I can close my eyes for just a second..._  

The phone rang. Each sharp trill cut through the quiet apartment like a knife. Sakura lunged for the phone so quickly the milk jug toppled, splashing its contents onto the floor.  

_Please be good news, oh god oh god let it be good news._  

"Hello?" 

"Sakura." Naruto's voice, cracked with emotion.  

"What is it?" She couldn't breathe.  

"There was a fire. Some cabin out in the woods. I smelled smoke and followed the sirens."  

"Did you find Sasuke? Is he alright?" _What was he doing? Why would he hide like that?_  

"I-I don't know, by the time I got there I-it was burned to the ground, firefighters everywhere t-tryin' to keep it from spreading." Naruto let out a muffled sob. "Sakura, they found a body. "  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh this chapter kicked my ASS. I'm still not sure if I'm 100% satisfied but I figured the time had come to stop fussing around and just put it out there. Thanks as always goes to RedBeardtheNotPirate for whipping this into shape, and to all you for reading and commenting! 
> 
> Tune in next time for Cliffhanger Resolution and a surprise cameo (?)


	19. Over the Falls

The next hour passed in a blur. Her legs pumped, lungs screaming as she ran through the streets. Shikamaru's squinty-eyed bedhead peered out at her. Confusion slid into sympathy as she huffed out an explanation. He pressed his car keys into her hand, then she was tearing down the road; a thick black band unspooling under headlights as she willed herself to go faster. 

The scent of scorched earth assaulted her nostrils as she hopped out of the car. Smoke still hung in a haze over the forest rangers' station, even though the fire had been fought over a mile away. A few soot-faced men lounged on the porch, drinking coffee and speaking in quiet tones. Sakura pushed through them mutely.   

The inside of the station was wood-paneled and aggressively decorated with paintings of wildlife, as if trying to blend into it’s surroundings. Several desks were crammed into the front room, though only one was occupied at this time of night. The man had dark circles under his eyes  and rubbed distractedly at the stubble on his chin every few seconds while he worked through an impressive stack of papers.  

Sakura cleared her throat. "Excuse me, I'm looking for my friend..." 

He waved her off vaguely towards a hall leading right without bothering to look up.  

She found Naruto on a bench next to a water fountain, eyes glazed with fear and exhaustion. He nodded to acknowledge her existence, but otherwise didn't move.  

Sakura sat down next to him and was surprised to find her legs were shaking. She took a deep breath.  

 _If you don't ask you'll never know. It won't be real until he says it, so keep your mouth shut and you can still pretend._  

"Is Sasuke-" 

"I dunno." Naruto jabbed a thumb at the door at the end of the hallway. "The head ranger's talkin' to the coroner in there." His face tightened in anger, a dark, bloodthirsty look that Sakura had never seen before.

"I swear I'm gonna hunt down this Danzo bastard an' kill him myself."  

"We don't know for sure," Sakura murmured, but she didn't feel any better. In fact, more uncertainty pressed down on her. The tension wouldn't end, but the adrenaline from earlier was slowly leaching away. She wanted very much to sleep, but instead she wrapped her arms around Naruto's  neck.  

"Everything's going to be okay," she whispered in his ear, but he didn't react. "We can't give up."  

 _Who are you trying to convince?_  

The door opened and they both straightened up immediately. A slender bespectacled man in a lab coat exited first, followed by a shorter, rounder man wearing a forest ranger hat.  

"Well?" Naruto demanded.  

"I don't believe the body we recovered is that of your friend," the coroner said coolly.  

"Oh thank God." Sakura breathed. Relief flooded through her limbs like warm water, leaving her weak and giddy. 

The coroner took off his glasses, wiped them on his jacket and continued.  

"Although the burns were extensive, this appears to be the body of an older, taller man. One with bad teeth as evidenced by a few melted fillings. He also had a gun on him, badly damaged, but if I had to guess I'd say it was standard police-issue. The fire also appears to have been set accidentally- a campfire that got out of control." 

The head ranger harrumphed next to him. "Mind if I ask you kids a few questions about your friend?"  

"Of course not!" Sakura said, at the same time Naruto said "Actually yeah, I do."  

She mentally kicked herself. _What if_ _Danzo_ _got to them first?_  

"Please sir," Sakura amended as his eyes narrowed. "We've had a very long, hard day. We're tired," as she said the words, a bone-deep exhaustion settled in. "Would it be alright if we came back tomorrow? We just need a few hours to sleep." 

The ranger's ruddy face softened. "I understand. How about you give me the basics- name, when he was last seen, what he was wearing, things like that. This isn't an interrogation. You're free to go. It's just in situations like this it's best to act quickly. Finding a missing person the odds are best within the first twenty-four hours."  

Sakura rattled off the information while Naruto sat sullenly beside her. She took his hand and guided him out of the station that was becoming more claustrophobic with every second. The firefighters were gone from the porch and she took a deep breath of tangy, smoke-tinged air. Her head was filled with a tangled mess of questions and worries that she was too tired to sort through.  

"I don't see why you were so nice to the cop guy," Naruto groused. "If he knew about us..." He kicked out at a tuft of grass.  

"C'mon, I'll drive us home," was all Sakura had the strength to reply.      

 

* * *

 

To her surprise, to world continued to turn as usual. She awoke on Naruto's couch, unwrapped herself from his limbs, changed, and went to the diner. The regulars still hunched over their morning papers, Shikamaru still hummed tunelessly from the kitchen, and Kakashi's door remained firmly closed.  

 _They don't know. Everything is still normal for them._  

Sakura swallowed hard and poured herself a cup of coffee with a shaking hand.  

"Rough night?" Shikamaru asked sympathetically. "Do I need to make you another omelette?" 

She opened her mouth to explain, but no words came. Yesterday's nightmare seemed far away and surreal amid the cheerful bustle of the diner. Like Sasuke could show up any minute, grumbling under his breath about waking up early. She shook her head.  

The bell chimed overhead and Naruto slunk in, his clothes rumpled and hair unwashed. He caught her eye, then looked away.  

 _What are we going to do?_  

Sakura couldn't focus. She dropped plates, forgot orders, and stammered over specials she'd known like the back of her hand for the past year. She finally flung off her apron and announced to no one in particular that she was going on break.  

The weather was growing cold enough to be unpleasant, but Sakura relished the bitter air on her cheeks. The back of the Double R faced a dumpster, but past that she could spot the road leading back to town, winding down the hill.  

 _Sasuke_ _used to go out back here to smoke..._  

"Is everything aright?" 

Sakura barely managed to suppress a scream, which came out as a muffled squeak instead. Since when had Kakashi come outside? The door was notoriously heavy, not to mention, rusty-hinged.  

"You seem... distracted," he hedged, in what Sakura figured was the politest way he could say she was fucking up.  

"I'm sorry, I know. I'll do better, I promise. I just need five minutes to clear my head." She hastily swiped at the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.  

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Sasuke would it?" Kakashi asked casually, but there was a current of underlying urgency. "I've been wondering why he hasn't shown up for the past two shifts when previously his attendance has been perfect." 

Before she could come up with a sensible, coherent reply, Sakura burst into tears. 

 

* * *

 

In Sakura's opinion, One-Eyed Jack's probably should've been condemned a long time ago. The floor was constantly covered in a layer of grit, the windows rattled at the slightest breeze, not to mention the outside of the place would look at home in The Evil Dead. Still, she drank there when the cheerful, well-lit atmosphere of Lou's didn't suit her mood, and the bartender seemed like good company. He always nodded in all the right places when she rambled on about her home life or how bored she was with Bedford Falls, giving off a friendly air that seemed wholly out of place.  

This time was different.   

After Kakashi had pried a semi-intelligible version of events from her, he'd closed down the diner for the day. Amid the employees' joyful whoops and the customers' confused grumbling, he'd motioned for Sakura and Naruto to stay, then ducked back into his office.  

"You kids are going to be the death of me," was all he'd said before herding them into his car, and now here they were.  

The scarred skin around Tobi's eye and mouth was pulled tighter than usual, his jaw clenched. He nodded as they entered. 

"Perimeter's secure," he grunted at Kakashi.  

Sakura lowered herself onto a bar stool. She laid her fingers together prim and proper in her lap, but her knuckles turned white.     

 _Can they help? What can we do at this point that's not well, illegal?_  

"What's going on?" Naruto finally burst out.  

"You tell us," Kakashi dragged a hand over his face. "Sakura tells me Sasuke's in some sort of danger and we can't tell the police?" 

Naruto huffed and rubbed the toe of his sneaker into the floor but finally agreed. 

They took turns telling the story, starting with the mushrooms and ending with the coroner's report. Naruto left nothing out, not even the attempted seduction, though he took a long swig from the nearest bottle without glancing at the label. Kakashi caught Tobi's eye but they didn't interrupt.  

When the tale was finished, Sakura felt sweaty and light-headed, yet somehow lighter, cleaner. As if she'd been sick for a long period of time and finally turned to corner.  

"Shit," Tobi whistled. "I knew something was eating at that kid from the moment I laid eyes on 'im but to think..." Suddenly he went pale. "I saw him last. He came in real upset about- it must've been after the drugs because he looked like he was tweaking out on something. He wouldn't talk to me about it though." Tobi closed his eyes, remembering.  

"Then... I turned on the TV. They were talking about Danzo! The whole drug war thing. He freaked out and left. It was dark by then and he was three sheets to the wind, oh God-" 

"Hey." Kakashi reached out and gripped his forearm. "This wasn't your fault. We need to focus on finding Sasuke before either Danzo or the police do. There are still a lot of pieces missing from the puzzle here, and I'm afraid he's the only one who'll be able to answer them." 

Naruto slapped his hands down on the bar. "I looked everywhere! Me an' Sakura spent HOURS out in the woods. There was nothing. Not even a trail."  

Sakura couldn't help but silently agree.  

Kakashi sighed. "You're looking at this too concretely. Think. You two know Sasuke best. Where might he go if he were scared or hurt? Where would he hide? The cabin burning down can't have been a coincidence. He's still alive, and I believe he's fighting back." 

Naruto's eyes widened. For the first time in a long time, Sakura saw hope shining through them.  

"Yeah! Sasuke's too damn stubborn to die. But, the cabin was pretty deep in the mountains. There's gotta be miles of just wildlife 'n shit."  

Something was nudging at Sakura's consciousness; a little bubble of an idea  that she couldn't pin down.  

 _Concentrate. He hasn’t been in town that long. What places would hold meaning for him?_  

"The Falls!" She yelped. The three men stared at her with blank expressions.  

"Bedford Falls." Sakura stamped her foot impatiently. "It was the first time we all hung out together as a group. Sasuke and Naruto got into a really bad fight and-" the whole picture was right in front of her, "there's a network of caves the moonshine smugglers used to use. We talked about that too!"  

"You're a goddamn genius, Sakura." Naruto was halfway to the door.  

Tobi clucked his tongue and looked at the clock. "Guys it's getting late. Do you think it's the best idea to race in half-cocked in the dark? We don't know what else could be out there." 

"I don't care!" Naruto called over his shoulder.  

"Me either." Sakura stood to follow. Her blood was singing in her ears. They had a lead. They had a purpose.  

 _I can sleep when I'm dead._  

"I guess that means I'm driving," Kakashi said.  

 

* * *

 

The sun was setting by the time they reached the picnic spot. Golden light illuminated the spray from the falls and the puffs of their breath in the freezing air.  

"This is it," Sakura said grimly, looking over the fence at the treacherous, slippery trail below. She clutched her flashlight tighter in her frozen hands.  

 _If my hunch is wrong..._ She shook her head. There was no time left to doubt herself.  

"Sasuke? Can you hear us? Are you there?" Naruto shouted over the rushing water. "We're comin' for ya, bastard."  

Kakashi placed a restraining hand on his shoulder. "Remember, we go down single file. Once we reach the caves, we split up to search. Go slowly and carefully. It won't help anyone if you trip and break your leg." 

 _Or fall to your death,_ Sakura thought with a shudder.  

"Don't hesitate to call out if you run into trouble," he continued. "Even if something just doesn’t feel right .We don't know what would be waiting for us down there." 

Naruto jerked a nod, then launched himself over the barrier. His feet scrabbled for purchase on the wet stone for a moment, but he steadied and reached a hand out to Sakura. She squeezed it tight.  

 _We're going to find him. Alive._  

 

* * *

 

Sakura cursed as her foot slipped sideways, sending her sprawling against the rock wall. Blood oozed sluggishly from her palm, but her hands were so cold the pain was reduced to a dull throb. She eased herself to the ground until her breathing slowed. She hadn't heard a peep from Naruto or Kakashi in the last half hour. The constant drip of water was her only companion.  

"Hello? Sasuke? Can you hear me?" Her voice reverberated in the caves.  

Nothing.  

Sakura pushed herself to her feet and wiped the blood off on the seat of her pants. She ached with fatigue.  

 _Keep_ _moving, girl. One step at a time. Naruto's not giving up and neither should you._  

She wished Ino was with her; a little laughter in the silence, a speck of light in the dark. A gust of wind blew through like the ghostly hand on the back of her neck. The flashlight trembled in her hand.  

"Hellooo?" She called out again, voice pitched an octave higher.  

 _What was that?_  

She stopped walking and listened with every fiber of her being. Sakura scarcely dared to breathe. Her heart thundered so loud she thought it might echo off the walls. Then she heard it again. A faint groan.  

Sakura dropped all pretense of caution and sprinted, her shoes slipping for traction as she careened forward. The narrow path widened into a cavern with stalactites that loomed from the ceiling like teeth. She gasped as her foot plunged into a puddle of icy water. The weak beam of her flashlight swung wildly about the space, until it came to rest on huddled mass propped up against the far wall.  

"Sasuke!"  

His face was wax-pale where it wasn't a dark, ugly purple. Blood crusted around his mouth and dripped from a laceration on his temple. He held his arms in close to his sides as if trying to protect himself, and Sakura noticed his thumbs bent sickeningly in an unnatural direction.  

"What did he do to you?" She whispered before screaming for Naruto and Kakashi.  

Sasuke remained unconscious but Sakura kept a steady stream of conversation going until help arrived, as she watched the faint rise and fall of his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh sorry to leave y'all hanging for so long! This chapter is half-beta'd since RedBeardtheNotPirate's been busy with IRL things. I apologize for any silly mistakes that are hiding in there, feel free to point them out. I wrestled with this chapter for a loooong time. 
> 
> Thanks as always for reading, and I hope the next update will be back on schedule ^_^


	20. Vigil

More incessant flashing red-and-blue lights that turned Bedford Falls into an epileptic nightmare. Sakura rested her throbbing head in her hands as the ambulance bounced and rattled down mountain roads. She closed her eyes and listened to the paramedics speak a language she only half-understood from her training.  

"Blood pressure's 95/50. Got a large-bore IV in the left AC, hanging a liter of normal saline now. What's our ETA to the hospital?" 

_Low blood pressure means he'd probably in shock. The fluids should help that. But the rest of his injuries?_  

Naruto was crouched low at the head of the gurney, muttering a string of threats mixed with encouragement from under the medic's armpit.  

"You sonofobitch I hope you can here me cuz when you get better I'm gonna KILL you for this, got it? Just hang in there." 

The ambulance doors burst open and Naruto and Sakura were thrust into the burning fluorescence of the emergency department, shuffled into hard plastic chairs, and told to wait.  

Naruto immediately jumped back up and started pacing. Sakura was too tired to even lift her head. The last of the adrenaline she'd been running on was utterly spent. Already the memories of the past few hours were melting together in a confusing ball of fear and cold. She dozed fitfully against a backdrop of beeping monitors and Naruto's ceaseless footsteps .  

Kakashi arrived at some point to usher her out to the car. She mumbled in half-hearted protest, but he smoothed her hair down and gently led her away.  

"What about Naruto?" 

"Something tells me he wouldn't come quietly," Kakashi said with a touch of humor in his voice.  

"But I-" 

"Rest," he insisted as he shut the passenger-side door. "I'll drop you off home and then drive back here to keep an eye on Naruto. I'll give you a call as soon as we get an update on Sasuke's condition." 

"You promise?" 

"Of course."  

Sakura fell asleep against the window, her breath fogging up the glass.  

 

* * *

 

She woke on her couch in a moment of extreme disorientation before she realized the phone was ringing. The previous nights' events came crashing back to her and she leapt to answer it, nearly falling and breaking her neck as she failed to notice a blanket wrapped around her legs.  

"Kakashi?!" 

"No, it's your mother." 

_Shit._ Sakura's eyes slid to the oven timer. It was ten-thirty in the morning.  

"Don't tell me you were expecting him to call you in this morning. You've been working too many weekends lately. It's high time you went to church again, young lady. It'll be Christmas before you know it."  

_Shitshitshit_ _._  

"Mom, it's uh actually really not a good time for me right now."  

Mrs. Haruno made a clucking sound at the back of her throat. "I'm worried about you sweetie. Ever since you and that Lee boy broke up, you've been so distant. I think it would be best if we sit down and have a chat. Tell me what's on your mind." 

_Today of all days..._  

Sakura took a deep, fortifying breath. "Could you pick me up after church? I'm still in my pajamas." Even that was a lie; she was wearing her clothes from the day before, coated in mud from the falls and who knew what else.  

"Sakura!" 

"I overslept, sorry." 

Her mother grumbled in the back of her throat but accepted the excuse. As soon as they'd hung up, Sakura dialed the operator and asked to be connected to Benton County General Hospital. After several different connections and anxious minutes on hold, she heard Kakashi's tired drawl.  

"Hello?" 

"How is he?" 

A rush of static over the line. "Still unconscious. Looks like he suffered some pretty decent head trauma in addition to the exposure and... orthopedic injuries." 

Sakura's stomach turned at the memory of his hands, with the thumbs bent like broken twigs.  

"The docs say he's not out of the woods just yet," Kakashi went on. "But his blood pressure's stabilized and he's still breathing fine on his own." 

"Naruto?" 

"Hasn't left the bedside. Kid's gonna run himself into the ground if he keep this up." 

"I'll come by this afternoon!" Sakura loosened her grip on the phone cord. She'd wrapped it so tight around her finger that it was turning purple. "Y-you both need some rest." 

"That's very kind of you, Sakura but-" 

"But nothing!" Her anger flared again. "I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to protect me from, but it's a little chauvinistic isn't it?" She snarled, realizing she was overreacting but at the same time too frustrated to care.  

_Just left me sleeping peacefully on the couch, couldn't bother to let me know_ _Sasuke's_ _alright. Naruto can run himself ragged but_ _nooo_ _I'm too FRAGILE._  

"I didn't leave nursing school because I couldn't hack it, you know. I left because-" she choked back a sob. "I left because I was lonely and scared and too timid to face the real world on my own." _Not without_ _Ino_ _._  

"Hmm I didn't know you were studying to be a nurse," Kakashi said with mild surprise. "That would explain why you handled yourself so calmly and professionally last night." 

"I- well, you PROMISED you'd call," Sakura reached for a stray napkin to blow her nose on. 

"I did, didn't I?" He sounded so weary and forlorn that her anger vanished, leaving behind a small, hard ball of sadness in her throat.  

"I'm sorry," She said in a small voice.   

"No no, the fault is mine," was Kakashi's breezy reply. "I do hope I'll see you here later." 

"Okay, goodbye then."  

_Click._  

_I can't meet my mother like this,_ Sakura thought numbly. She shuffled to the bathroom in her sock-feet, stripped out of her stinking clothes, turned the faucet up as high as it would go, then proceeded to stare at her puffy face in the mirror until the tiny room clouded with steam. 

 

* * *

 

By the time Mrs. Haruno pulled up outside the apartment, Sakura had scraped herself together into something that resembled a human being. It wasn't enough to fool her mother though, who immediately began commenting on the dark circles under her eyes, her slouchy posture, and lack of makeup as soon as she ducked into the car.  

"You should _smile_ more, dear. I know you're going through a tough time right now but sometimes lifting your mood is as simple as that."  

Sakura wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry so she deepened her scowl and turned her face to the window.  

"So what's bothering you?" Her mother reached over to put a comforting hand on her knee. It was all Sakura could do not to recoil at the touch. "You've been uncommunicative lately. I swear, I heard from you more when you were in Seattle!" She let out a little laugh. "Are you going through a late-stage rebellious phase?" 

_I'm wasting my time here while_ _Sasuke's_ _in trouble. It's not like we're going to have_ _meaningful conversations anymore, just lies and more lies. She pretends to be interested in my life and I pretend to be interested in a future husband._  

"Of course not, mom. I've had... a lot on my plate recently." 

_This is pointless. I can never tell her about_ _Ino_ _. I have to hide for the rest of my stupid, sorry life._   

"I know, that whole situation with Lee is a difficult one." Mrs. Haruno gave her knee a squeeze. "He's such a well-mannered boy but I do agree he jumped the gun with the proposal. If anything you should be flattered, turning a man's head like that! Are you going to give him a second chance?" Her eyes twinkled as if this was all a big joke, something amusing to bring back to bridge club; the Story of My Daughter's Fucked-Up Love Life.  

"No," Sakura said flatly. "I don't want to see him again."  

"I'm sorry sweetie. When you get older you'll see, but the first heartbreak-" 

"I'm not heartbroken!" She banged her fist futilely against the glass. Her mother startled and truly _looked_ at her for the first time. "You know what, just let me out here. I'll walk home." 

"Don't be ridiculous. Honestly, what's gotten into you?" Mrs. Haruno's brow furrowed in concern. "You haven't been yourself lately."    

"No, you know what? I HAVE been myself. Maybe I'm not the perfect goody-two shoes daughter you thought you had. Maybe I have other plans for myself that don't involve getting married and having kids. Maybe I just need a little space to figure out my own goddamn life!" Sakura yanked furiously at the door. The car came to a screeching halt as she threw aside her seatbelt and scrabbled out onto the road.  

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"  

_I'm gay mom, I'm fucking gay. Your daughter is a giant lesbian disappointment with a criminal friend who may or may not be dying in a hospital bed right now._  

She didn't reply, only quickened her pace until she was sprinting down the block. No screeching tires or angry horn blasts followed her, so she could only assume her mother was staring after her, utterly lost for words.  

 

* * *

 

Sakura stomped through the downtown with the vague notion she should go to the hospital but she couldn't quite see straight. Anger radiated off her like heat off the blacktop on a summer's day. When she finally calmed down enough to duck inside a pay phone to call a cab, her fingers were blue and turning numb. Sakura cursed herself for leaving her gloves in her mothers' car as she banged down the receiver. Twenty minutes for her ride to show was too long to be alone with her thoughts.  

_I could ask_ _Shikamaru_ _to pick me up instead..._  

But then she remembered that since the Double R was closed, he'd most likely be hanging out with Ino, and that thought left a sour taste in her mouth. Not to mention she didn't feel like explaining the whole sordid situation.  

_Let them come up with their own stories about what's going on. I'm sure the rumor mill's been running into overdrive since_ _Sasuke_ _disappeared in the first place._  

Sakura's stomach let out a fierce growl. She glanced up and down the street. There was a sad tourist-y kind of place called The Major Scale with a large cartoonish fish pasted across the front window. "Fresh Fish Fry!" A sun-worn sign announced.  

_I should at least have time to get a cup of coffee. Maybe a_ _has_ _h_ _brown_ _?_  

The interior smelled heavily of grease but was invitingly warm. Sakura positioned herself in a booth by the window so she could keep an eye on the street for her cab. She placed her order and minutes later was rewarded with a nice hot cup on which to warm her fingers.  

"Excuse me, miss?" 

Sakura startled. She hadn't noticed the tall, gaunt man approach her table. He tapped a notepad he carried with a single, slim finger.  

"I'm a reporter with the Sun-Times." His heavy-lidded eyes didn't move from her face. Sakura grew warm under the intensity of his gaze. He was pale, like he hadn't been outside in years."I was wondering if you'd be willing to answer a couple questions about a disappearance I'm investigating." 

The hairs on the back of her neck prickled, and suddenly she was no longer hot, but colder than when she'd been standing outside.  

_We have to assume that if_ _Danzo's_ _still alive, he'd still be looking for_ _Sasuke_ _. He's even more vulnerable now, and not only that but he's more dangerous to_ _Danzo_ _! When he wakes up, he'll_ _be able to testify..._  

Sakura's attention snapped back to the man. He was waiting patiently with his pencil poised, but his gaze was still burning into her. His body blocked the exit from her booth.  

"Excuse me, I have to go," she mumbled as she pushed passed him.  

"But your food hasn't arrived yet," he said quietly.  

Sakura ignored him and started walking as fast as she could towards the door. He didn't follow, though she could feel him watching her even as she stepped out onto the street. Sakura almost sobbed with relief when she saw the cab turn the corner.  

 

* * *

 

_I need to warn Naruto as soon as possible._  

Sakura was in such a rush that she nearly forgot to pay the cab driver. She elbowed her way through the crowded lobby to the reception desk.  

_All I had to do to get his room number was to tell the secretary that I'm a friend of_ _Sasuke's_ _._ _Danzo_ _could do the same thing! Maybe we should start taking shifts at his bedside? I'm sure Kakashi could find a way to schedule us on different days..._  

She was still contemplating different scenarios , each with increasingly upsetting outcomes, when she stepped into his room and immediately brought up short.  

At first she thought Naruto hadn't heard her enter, but on closer inspection he had fallen asleep with his eyes half-closed, head tilted back slightly over the top of the chair. One arm rested in his lap but the other one stretched across the bedside table as if he'd been reaching out for Sasuke.  

Sasuke on the other hand, couldnt've been dead save for the faint rise and fall of his chest. His skin had taken on a waxy, mottled cast under all the bruising that stood out as vivid as an expressionist painting. His brow was furrowed, as if some slight irritation was bothering him in unconsciousness.  

Their dynamic had always relied on movement; Naruto's spastic incorrigibility to Sasuke's pointed grace. One filling in the others' cracks. It was painful to see the two of them so still and vulnerable.  

"Wake up, sleepyhead." She nudged Naruto with her foot. He stirred, blinked slowly, then smiled at her.  

"Yeah you came to visit! Didja bring any food?" He kept his voice low, afraid to break the stillness.  

Sakura bit her lip. "Actually, I stopped at a restaurant on my way here, but-" She told him about the mysterious man.  

"What'd he look like? I chased a coupla nosy reporters away earlier." Any trace of sleepiness had vanished. Naruto was thrumming with energy, his fists balled in front of him, ready to box with a shadow enemy.  

Sakura struggled to remember. There'd been an aura of quiet menace around him but as for his physical appearance, he'd been nondescript enough to fade into the background. 

"He was skinny. Um, long dark hair. Average height?"  

Naruto shrugged. "That could be half the people in this town." 

"I know. It's not very helpful. I'm sorry. He really creeped me out. I just wanted to get away as fast as possible." _Stupid_ _stupid_ _stupid_ _. You could be putting everyone in danger._  

He gave her a weary smile. "Hey, it's alright. We'll keep a close eye out, yeah? Nobody's gonna get through me or Kakashi!"  

Sakura noticed a slight tremble in his shoulders. His lips looked dry and cracked . 

"Naruto, when was the last time you had anything to eat or drink?" _Or God forbid shower..._  

"Uhh..." 

"Go to the cafeteria!" She made a shooing motion with her hands. "Get yourself a REAL meal. Something with fruits and vegetables. And at least two glasses of water. I'll watch over Sasuke," she added when she saw him falter. "The doctors said he's stable now, right? He'll be okay without you for a couple minutes. I promise I won't tell him you left when he wakes up." She forced a smile.  

Naruto's stomach goaned in response. He stared at Sasuke for a minute longer before he finally gave in.  

"Fine, fine, have it your way, _mom_."  

Sakura ignored his good-natured grumbling as he tromped off down the hall, and turned her attention to Sasuke. She squinted at the readouts on the monitor, whispering sections from her old textbooks to herself. From what she could gather, his blood pressure was actually on the high side, and his heart rate and breathing were a bit slow, but steady. She breathed a small sigh of relief.  

_We're going to make it through this._  

"Can you hear me in there?" She bent down by Sasuke's head. She felt silly, talking to herself in an empty room, but it at least broke the stillness.  

"I made Naruto go take a break. You'd probably call him an idiot for being so careless about his own health, but he's really worried about you. We all are." She squeezed his hand. "Come back to us. Whatever you did, you don't deserve-" 

Something shifted inside, and all her tangled emotions loosed and released in a messy flood of tears.  

A soft footstep outside caught her attention and she whipped around. 

"Naruto, I swear to god, get back downstairs and take FIVE FUCKING MINUTES for yourself or I swear I'll-" 

Sakura froze. Looming in the doorway was the reporter. He cocked his head to one side, expression unreadable. His hair was tied back in a loose ponytail.   

"S-stay back. If you come any closer, I'll scream." Sakura positioned herself between him and Sasuke. She prayed her  knees weren't shaking.  

"That'd be an interesting trick." His voice was low and steady, almost hypnotic. "If anyone has the right to be here, it's me." 

"What the hell do you mean?" Her mind was racing. _Maybe I can stall him until Naruto comes back. If I called out now, would someone come before he could hurt us?_  

His lips quirked up in a smirk that was horrifyingly familiar and suddenly the pieces clicked into place.  

"I'm Sasuke's older brother." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for sticking with me thus far (and as always RedBeardtheNotPirate for the beta)! This chapter ended up being a bit of a monster by my standards but I had a lot of different threads to tie together in Sakura's point of view. Stay tuned for Sasuke's turn next update...


	21. A Light in the Dark

The ceiling was white. Sasuke squinted through eyelids that weighed a ton. His vision blurred and warped but the color remained the same. He tried to turn his head, which was somehow even heavier than his eyelids.  

Someone gasped over on his left side, but that sounded muffled too. It was like his senses were wrapped up in a blanket and stuffed deep into his brain where he couldn't quite reach.  

_Maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe I'm still back in the shed with_ _Danzo_ _\- no wait, the caves?_  

The memories bumped and slipped past one another like silvery fish, too fast to catch and hold. He kept focusing on turning his head. A fuzzy pink blob swam into view.  

_Sakura?_ He tried to say, but his lips were too dry. His mouth tasted like blood.  

A dark shadow behind her.  

"Washhout," he croaked.  

He felt her hair tickle his cheek as she bent over.  

"Shh, shhh it's okay. Relax," Sakura soothed. "Naruto's going to be here soon. Oh my God he's going to kill me for sending him away," she let out a little laugh. Something wet splashed onto Sasuke's nose.  

The shadow came closer. It hovered at the foot of his bed. Sasuke struggled to make out a face.  

_Yep. Definitely dreaming._  

His hand fluttered up to brush the tears off Sakura's face, but sleep rose up like a tidal wave and claimed him.  

 

* * *

 

When he woke again, the room was dark. Every inch of him ached with a dull, throbbing insistency so for a while he lay still and attempted to categorize each twinge. Tried to match it with a memory. His hands demanded the most attention as he fumbled with the bedrail. Thy felt hot, swollen, and heavy underneath the plaster casts. His head pounded along with his heartbeat, leaving behind a dizzying nauseous sensation whenever he moved too quickly.  

_Where is everyone?_  

Sasuke propped himself up on his elbows, ignoring the groans of protest from his ribs.  

"Lie down. You're going to hurt yourself more." A calm, quiet voice from his childhood. The same one that had scolded him for sneaking into the cookie jar, or tracking mud over the floors.  

"What're you doing here?" Sasuke kept his face carefully neutral and refused to look up.  _How_ _did you find me?_  

"What do you think?" 

He didn't answer.  

A rustle of cloth as Itachi leaned forward. He kept his gaze focused resolutely on the bedspread.  

"I know you and your friends were working with Orochimaru."   

At that Sasuke snapped his head up, causing the room to swoop and swerve around him for a moment before he was able to see straight.  

"How-" 

Itachi was sitting with his elbows on his knees, fingers laced together like a stern principle. 

"I simply put two and two together. You'd been acting increasingly surly and distant ever since you went off to college. I originally put it down as stress, but I found it suspicious." 

_So you're here to clean up after my mess again, is that it?_  Shame welled in him, so thick and bitter he could taste it.  _I'm the fuckup you have to fix before I destroy the whole family. That would ruin your perfect reputation, wouldn't it? The younger brother of an FBI agent caught_ _a_ _t a major drugs bust. Now that might warrant an investigation..._  

"And I know that so far everyone associated with Orochimaru has turned up dead," he continued as if Sasuke had answered. "My condolences."  

_Was that sarcasm?_  

Itachi's face was as inscrutable as ever. "It seems like you were marked to be the next to join them. Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, I could help you?" 

"I was handling it," Sasuke said hotly, though even as the words left his mouth he could tell how ridiculous and childish he sounded. "I'm still here aren't I?"   

A sharp intake of breath. His brother's lips pressed into a thin line, his fists clenched and for a moment Sasuke wondered if he would strike out, lose his legendary composure, but instead he spoke in a strange, strangled voice.  

"I thought I was too late. You did a good job disappearing."  

_How long has he been looking?_   On closer inspection, Itachi's normally immaculate clothes were rumpled and there were nicotine stains between his index and middle fingers even though he'd quit smoking years ago.  

"Do you ever think about consequences, Sasuke? What if you'd been killed? Mother still thinks you're on a camping trip for god's sake."  

Sasuke's ears reddened.  _I haven't changed at all. I'm still worthless; an obstacle in your way, a problem to be dealt with._  

"I was trying to protect her," he mumbled. "Better that I just vanish off the face of the earth than they find out the truth about me, right?" 

"Do you really think that lowly of us?" 

Sasuke pressed on. He didn't want sympathy, couldn't stomach pity. "Besides who knew what Danzo-" 

Itachi's brow furrowed. "What does the police commissioner have to do with all this? I assume you didn't tell anyone back home where you were going, and nearly everyone who could expose you is dead, so there's very little reason for law enforcement to suspect you of any wrongdoing. Except the fact that you lied about going hiking, then vanished without a trace. But of course I'm the only one who knows about that." 

Sasuke's mouth went dry. "Who ordered you to come out here?" 

"I came of my own volition, under the guise that I was taking my first ever vacation," he said slowly. " I think you need to tell me what's going on right away."  

Danzo's voice in his ear.  _"I've cut off the head of the snake, but there are still a few little worms crawling around making life difficult. You're going to help me find them._ _"_ The damp, musty smell of the cabin in his nostrils, suffocating.  

"That's what he'd want you to say," Sasuke whispered hoarsely.  "Orochimaru's out of the way so now he can move in on his territory, but the rest of us in the inner circle could ruin that for him. He would've done a background check-he knows about my family, of course he knows what you do for a living. He probably called in an anonymous tip or something, got you assigned here-" 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Itachi's eyebrows raised imperceptibly. "When you say 'him' are you talking about Danzo? If so, that's a pretty serious allegation. Do you have any concrete evidence?" 

Sasuke gripped the bedrail to keep from shaking. "What'd you do to Naruto and Sakura? Did you lie to them too?" His vision started to swim. 

"Breathe." A cool hand on the back of his neck. "You're safe," Itachi intoned. "I will find whoever did this to you, do you understand?" His voice was like steel.  

Sasuke nodded, helpless. Danzo's presence started to fade away, leaving behind a throbbing headache and bile that crept up his throat.  

"You might be an idiot, but you're still my little brother. Right now, you need to stay here and rest. I need to do some research. I'll be back later to ask some more questions if you're feeling up to it. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard," he muttered half to himself as he pushed himself to his feet. 

"This isn't something you can fix!" Sasuke spat at his retreating back, but there was no answer.  

 

* * *

 

The first thing he did after Itachi left was sign himself out of the hospital against medical advice. The sharp wind cut through the flimsy cotton pants he'd been given to replace the pair they'd had to cut off in the trauma bay, but he was free to walk down the street and marvel at how innocuous the world seemed in broad daylight.   

_At least I still have a shirt and shoes, even if they're filthy._  

A shower first, then. Sasuke hissed in annoyance as he realized he didn’t have a cent on him to get a ride back to the motel. Or a cigarette, he realized as his fingers suddenly itched to hold one. He knew from his lengthy walks around town that the hospital was a good five miles away from his room.  

_Not to mention_ _Danzo's_ _probably got it staked out by now_ _._  

It hurt to take a deep breath, not to mention his shoes were crusted in dried mud that flaked and chafed at his feet. He leaned his aching body against a stop sign at the corner of King Street and Main and considered his options.  

_No way in hell I'm going back to the hospital. Or asking_ _Itachi_ _for help._ He picked at the blood trapped underneath his fingernails, the lower half of his hand and wrist still immobilized by a splint.  _But the longer I stay outside, the more I'm exposed._  

Naruto's apartment was three blocks south and two blocks east from where he stood.  

_You can't hide forever,_ a nagging voice at the back of his head reminded him.  _The shit's already hit the fan. It's time to breakout the mop and start cleaning up._ _Itachi_ _will try, whether you want him to or not._  

Sasuke ignored it and limped on.  

 

* * *

  

"Jesus," Naruto breathed when he opened the door.   

"Do I really look that bad?" Sasuke retorted in an attempt at light-heartedness, but in truth he felt like dogshit. Sweat ran in rivulets down his cheek in spite of the cold. His breath came in short puffs of cotton.  

"Sit down before you pass out." Naruto slipped an arm over his shoulder and Sasuke leaned gratefully against him. He stank of stale cigarettes and burnt coffee; long, sleepless nights.  They did an awkward three-legged dance to the couch, where Naruto left him to rummage in the kitchenette. Sasuke missed the warmth pressed against his side.  

He returned with a glass of water. 

"Drink." He sat down next to Sasuke and bounced his knee up and down for a minute before he couldn't contain himself anymore.  

"Are you gonna sit there and act like nothing happened?" 

Sasuke took a slow sip. It tasted like heaven.  

"I mean,  you told me you were into some deep shit but this," he waved his arms around, "This is fucking INSANE. The docs kept givin' us funny looks an' asking weird questions an' Kakashi said that was because it looked like you'd been TORTURED. What the hell happened, man? Me an' Sakura were going nuts looking for you, we thought you were-" 

"I know. I thought I was too." Sasuke rubbed his temples. He didn't feel real yet. Danzo, Itachi, the acrid sting of smoke; all of it distorted, jumbled like a fever-dream.  

"How'd you get away?" Naruto whispered. He ran a hand over the bandages.  

"Broke my thumbs so I could slip out of the handcuffs. Waited for the guard to come in, then jumped him from behind." 

_The flashlight beam_ _swung wildly around the room. The man grunted in surprise, writhing in_ _Sasuke's_ _headlock. He swung an elbow back, catching his nose._ _Sasuke_ _ignored the pain shooting down his arms and across his face, focused on squeezing tighter and tighter until the man lay still._  

"But the fire-" 

_"_ He must've been camping outside. It was still burning when I escaped. Figured it might rattle Danzo if I-" Sasuke swallowed hard, willed the water to stay down. "If I fought back. Maybe he'd show his hand."  _But he didn't and now that blood is on me._  

"You did what you had to do," Naruto said, so close he could feel he breath tickle his ear. "This was about surviving." 

"I know."    

Sasuke let his head fall heavily onto Naruto's shoulder. The blond man tentatively reached up and ran a hand through his hair.  

"Look, before all this, at Shikamaru's, I didn't mean-" 

"It doesn't matter anymore." 

"It does!" Naruto protested, his fingers clenching to a painful degree against his scalp. "I thought I was never gonna see you again. I thought I'd never get to apologize, that you'd die mad at me," an ugly sob tore out of him.  

Sasuke was too limp and exhausted to cry.  

"I'm not going anywhere."  

"How about back to the hospital?"  

"Fuck that." 

"But you've like, for sure got a concussion! And broken ribs! And what about your hands?" 

"Hypocrite," Sasuke huffed. "Now it's my turn to bleed all over your things."  

Naruto groaned. "Aw man, Sakura's gonna kill me when she finds out." 

Sasuke squeezed his knee. "Stay with me. Please." 

The couch cushion's shifted as Naruto squirmed around to face him, their noses inches away. Sasuke leaned forward until they pressed together in a clumsy closed-lip kiss. He wrapped his arms around Naruto's neck and drew him in even closer, hungry for touch.  

Naruto sighed into his mouth and deepened the kiss. His hands fluttered across Sasuke's face and down to his collarbone, as if to reassure himself that he was solid. Tears rolled silently down his face, but he nipped at Sasuke's lips with a fierce joy.  

Sasuke returned in kind and felt a layer of pain and fear slowly start to melt away.  

_We're alive,_ Naruto seemed to be saying as he broke apart and held Sasuke's head up to his chest, where he could hear his heartbeat pounding through his t-shirt.  _We're alive. We're together._ _Hold on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowwww I'm absolutely overwhelmed by all the wonderful comments! I'm working my way through replying to all of them but I just want to give a blanket shoutout to all of you out there <3
> 
> I'm going to do my very best to get this next chapter out by the end of the month. As always, thanks to RedBeardtheNotPirate for the beta help.


	22. Jasmine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER UPDATED AND RE-POSTED 8/25

For the first time in what felt like years, Sakura allowed relief to wash over her. Sasuke was awake; only for a few minutes but still, that was progress. Itachi had shooed her out with a quiet finality shortly after, but if she was being honest with herself, she didn't put up too much of a fight. Sakura caught another cab home, and immediately passed out in her bed.  

She didn't wake up until the next morning, her body stiff and clumsy from such a long sleep and her bladder fit to burst. After a stop in the bathroom, Sakura hobbled like Rip Van Winkle to the kitchen, only to discover her milk had expired three days ago. She sighed, and resigned herself to eat cereal out of the box by the handful. The apartment was quiet. For once she was glad she didn't have an answering machine.  

 _Mom's probably worked herself into a fit by now._  

Sakura knew that she needed to apologize before her mother got too suspicious (or God forbid, Freudian), but for the moment she was content to bask in the vindictive pleasure of ruffling feathers. Ino was a tad trickier, as Sakura wasn't yet sure how much information she could safely divulge, and Ino would certainly demand answers.  

 _Hell, I need answers. Didn't_ _Sasuke_ _say his brother was part of the Secret Service or something? How come he's turning up out of the blue, now of all times? It's too convenient to be a coincidence._  

Sakura frowned as she munched her cereal.  

 _Sasuke_ _runs amok of the law, but_ _also gets tangled up with a corrupt police commissioner. Maybe his brother was investigating either_ _Danzo_ _or_ _Orochimaru_ _. They definitely didn't seem to have a good relationship, at least from_ _Sasuke's_ _point of view. He seemed like he really cared when he came to visit at the hospital, though._  

She considered the possibility that Kakashi might have some idea of what was going on, then discarded it. It seemed that Naruto had been the only person Sasuke had chosen to confide in, which didn't surprise her but still stung a little.  

 _I guess I'll have to do my own research in that case._  

Sakura clapped her hands together. She had yet another day off. Might as well get some work done.  

 

* * *

 

The Sheffield County Library welcomed Sakura back  like an old friend, only this time she didn't pause to admire the woody book-smell and instead headed straight for the alphabetized drawers of microfilm. She expertly flipped through them until she found what she was looking for. 

"Boston Globe... Here we are! And the Boston Herald. What dates to I need though?"  

Sakura hesitated. The library only had a few copies of each paper dating back the past five years. Since she had no idea where to start, she might as well look through them all.  

She waddled to the machine, her arms full of film spools. She carefully threaded the first one and fiddled with the focus knobs until the front page showed up clearly on the screen. She took a deep breath and began to scan.  

The going was slow. She tried to ignore anything that didn't pertain to crimes, arrests or City Hall appointments but after two hours, all she'd managed to find was a small article announcing that Danzo had been given an award for public service by the mayor.  

The writing was only a few short lines, but what interested Sakura was the small picture that accompanied it. She leaned forward so close that her nose almost pressed up against the screen. The grainy image stared back; A man in a dress uniform, presumably Danzo, standing at a podium holding a plaque. He looked stoic, almost bored, but there was something in his stance that radiated latent power.  

She stared into his flat, expressionless eyes.  

 _Were you always a monster or was that something you became?_  

"You aren't going to find much in those." 

Sakura let out a small scream, which earned her a glare from Mrs. Kirsh, the librarian. Itachi was standing behind her, peering over her shoulder at the screen.  

"Though I have to say I'm impressed you discovered a photograph of him," he continued, "Danzo's become increasingly camera shy over the years, despite his political prominence." 

"I was- what are you doing here?" She asked as she struggled to regain her composure.  

"I needed somewhere quiet and private to go over my case files." 

"Your brother's in the hospital!" Sakura said, louder than necessary judging by the way Mrs. Kirsh pursed her lips.  _And you_ _made a_ _ll_ _of US leave..._   

Itachi shrugged. "I doubt it. He was pretty upset that I came here. Plus I told him to stay put so I'm sure he's done the opposite." 

Sakura stared for a moment, flabbergasted. She searched his face for any trace of irony but was met with a flat, blank mask.  

"You're serious." She cursed and began grabbing spools willy-nilly to shove back into their drawer. "Well in that case SOMEONE needs to be the adult here and go find him and make sure he isn't bleeding out on the sidewalk or kidnapped or-" 

"Wait," he said, so low and quiet she almost didn't hear. "There's a lot you don't know about the situation." 

"Then enlighten me," Sakura snarled, hands akimbo. "Because what I know is this: Sasuke was running from you just as much as he was from Danzo.  Maybe he never said as much because he's too damn proud but he was afraid of living in your shadow. Of failing to live up to some vague, impossible ideals set up by your family."  

Itachi sucked in a quick breath. "I figured as much. I just never thought he'd go so far as to get mixed up in the likes of Orochimaru. I feel responsible for him. For what happened. I should've intervened sooner." 

Sakura softened. "Look, I think we both learned the hard way that Sasuke's too stubborn to let anyone help him."  _Except maybe Naruto._ "We got off on the wrong foot. We're both trying to protect him so why don't we work together?"  

He gave her a calculating once-over. "It's true that my intel has been sparse concerning the time Sasuke spent after he left Boston, and judging by your research," he gestured to the microfilm, "You have no idea of the full scope of what's going on. Now, I don't think I need to say this, but it's vital that we involve as few people as possible, do you understand?" 

Sakura nodded.  

"That being said, do you have a few people close to the situation we could trust with this information? What comes next will have to be handled... delicately."   

"I do- wait, you're going to trust me just like that? No background check, no test of loyalty I have to pass?" 

Itachi steepled his fingers. "I can see from our conversation that you care very deeply about Sasuke. It's also apparent that you're a diligent and clever worker," he jutted his chin towards the machine. "As I said before, my resources here are rather limited and I think you'd be a good asset as a local who's familiar with the surrounding area. In the same way, I can provide you with much needed background information to ensure you and your friends stay out of harm's way." 

 _Is that subtle way of telling me to butt out once he's gotten what he needs from us?_  

Still, Sakura found herself surprisingly flattered by his praise.  

 _"_ There's a Diner right off the freeway before you get into town- the Double R. If you come by around closing time the day after tomorrow, I should be able to arrange to have everyone there."  

"That would suffice nicely." 

"Right. Now I'm going to leave because Mrs. Kirsh is still giving us the evil eye. The last thing I need right now is a scandal breaking that I'm dating the mysterious new reporter in town." 

"Certainly not," He replied, deadpan, in a way that reminded her powerfully of Sasuke even though his wording and delicate mannerisms were all wrong. Something to do with the shape of his eyebrows and lazy, sardonic tone. Sakura shook off a pang at the knowledge that Sasuke was once again in the wind, and made a vow to call Naruto as soon as she got home.  

 _He must be there. It's the only place he'd go if he was hurting like that. Even he's not stupid enough to stay out in the open._  

 

* * *

 

Once she confirmed that Sasuke was indeed with Naruto and not dying in the streets, Sakura broke out a pair of rubber gloves, a sponge, and a bucket of soapy water. She attacked her apartment as if cleaning up her surroundings would untangle the web in which she found herself. Each problem was a different thread, wrapping around and pulling her in so many different directions that she couldn't move: Danzo was the most obvious, but then there was her mother, Sasuke, the upcoming meeting with Kakashi and Itachi... 

 _Not to mention Ino still has no idea what's actually going on,_ she thought to herself as she scrubbed so hard she left a faint mark on the countertop.  _What a mess._  

Sakura tried to relax in front of the TV but even Seasons of Love couldn't hold her interest.  

 _Since when did Katerina have twins? And I thought that Samuel killed Brad- what's he doing sleeping with Jenna?_  

She flicked off the set, but the silence that filled the room made her teeth itch.  

 _I'll go for a walk, then. I could use the ex_ _ercise_ _._  

The ground was half-frozen, crunchy underfoot with a layer of snow like powdered sugar as she wandered through streets that were slowly darkening despite the early hour.  Sakura found herself drawn to Ino's place, lights spilling out invitingly from inside. Her joints ached with cold.  

Ino answered after the first knock, her eyes widening when she saw Sakura on her doorstep, fist still raised.   

"What are you doing out here? It's freezing, come inside." She opened her arms to envelop Sakura in a hug, then seemed to think better of it and let them awkwardly drop to her sides.  

"Hot chocolate?" Ino called over her shoulder. "I was making myself a pot anyways." 

Sakura hummed in assent, distracted by the warmth as she followed her into the kitchen.  Milk was steaming on the stove, a smell that reminded her suddenly, painfully, of home; Christmas mornings with her parents' laughter tinkling in the background. 

"You weren't um, expecting anyone were you?" Sakura asked.  

"Shikamaru's not coming, if that's what you mean," Ino said bluntly. "We're over." She snatched the pot off the stove with stiff shoulders and began stirring in cocoa powder without looking at her.  

Sakura held in a sign of relief. "Does this mean...." 

"I don't know what it means!" Ino snapped. She slopped the hot cocoa into two mugs, spilling almost as much on the counter. When she turned to hand Sakura her cup, her eyes were red-rimmed. 

""It wasn't fair. To lie to him. But I feel shitty cuz who knows if we’ll ever actually-" 

"Hey," Sakura reached out with her free hand and gently cupped her forearm. "I think we should talk about this, okay?"  

Ino made an exasperated noise in the back of her throat, but didn't protest. The card table in the little nook Ino called a dining room was covered in magazines, so Sakura led her back to her bedroom and closed the door.  

Ino sat on the bed with her legs drawn up to her knees. Sakura took a place on the floor, cross-legged. It was like they were eleven years old again, sharing secrets. She waited. Usually Ino would break through the silence with a torrential outburst about whatever was bothering her, but she continued to stare moodily at her toes.  

 _I guess it's my turn to go first._  

"Look, I don't really know what I'm doing either. I don't know how to handle this-" she swallowed, "whatever it is, between us. And it's scary. To think how other people might react if they found out." 

Ino nodded. 

"But we aren't alone," Sakura found herself gathering strength as she went on. "And I want to make this work. Some way, somehow. Even if it's hard."  _I can't imagine doing that with anyone else._  

Ino lifted her head. "But what are we going to do right now?" Her voice was hoarse. "And don't tell me it'll all work out because YOU'RE always the one with the plan. YOU'RE the one who's gonna prevent me from doing something stupid." 

Sakura hoisted herself up onto the bed. Ino's room was the safest place in the world. No conspiracies, no stench of ashes or hospital sterilization, just Ino's jasmine perfume flooding her nostrils from inches away.  

"I think," she said carefully. "That I'm sick of living in fear of doing stupid things."  _Stupid always seems to find me regardless._  

"I've been thinking about you all day," Ino breathed.  

Sakura leaned forward and pressed a kiss against the side of her mouth. There was so much still left unsaid but Sakura was tired of talking. She couldn't fight Danzo or her mother, let alone society as a whole. All she had were these small victories.  

Ino wrapped her arms around her neck and looked her deep in the eye.  

"Will you stay?" 

Sakura knew she wasn't simply asking about tonight, but for the next night, and the one after that, for all the months and years to come. That didn't change her answer. 

"Of course."  


	23. Bad Moon Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks, I'm finally back! I had originally planned to try and cram the finale of this fic into one chapter but I quickly realized that was a ridiculous idea. As a result, I've split it into three (mostly completed) parts that I intend to post every other week.
> 
> Beta'd by RedBeardTheNotPirate.
> 
> (Previous chapter tweaked/updated on 8/25)

The aspirin tasted bitter on his tongue but Sasuke chewed it anyway, hoping to dull the pain roaring in his skull.  In the background, Naruto was chatting on the phone with Sakura (Sasuke could tell because there were actually long breaks in the conversation as Naruto listened).  

"Alright, now that we've got the feeling and crying over with, what are we gonna do?" 

It took Sasuke a minute to realize Naruto was talking to him. If he turned his head too quickly the world started to spin around again like he was on a carousel.   

"First, we gotta look at everyone involved," Naruto said, business-like. He hopped off the couch and began to pace back and forth across the confined space, hands behind his back like he was a general addressing his troops. It should have been comical, but rage radiated off him from the rough edge to his voice to the abrupt heel-turns.  

"There's us. An' Sakura of course. Kakashi, Tobi, an' Danzo," he continued, counting off on his fingers.  

Sasuke gave up trying to follow his movements and kept his gaze in one place, waiting for Naruto to return to that spot each round.  

"Don't forget about Itachi." 

Naruto made a face. "Oh yeah, your weird-ass older brother. Why exactly is he here again?"    

"To soothe his raging hero-complex," Sasuke said wryly.  

"I'm serious! From what you've told me about the guy, the two of you didn't get along. Now's a pretty damn convenient time to show up if you ask me. Are you sure he's, uhh, on our side? No offense, or anything." 

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh I'm sure he'll do everything he can to 'help' alright. Probably get himself a promotion and a medal of honor while he's at it too. And all without letting it slip that I got myself into this mess in the first place just so he can be fucking smug and self-righteous about it once we're behind closed doors." 

Naruto whistled and stopped in his tracks. "Sakura wants us to meet at the Double R tomorrow for some sorta big pow-wow about the situation. Do you think he'll-" 

"I bet it was his damn idea in the first place!" 

"She also suggested that you stay here until then. To, y'know, stay out of danger. Not that I mind or anything!" 

Sasuke let out a harsh laugh. "Great. More running and hiding. That's worked out so well for me up until this point."  

"Do you have a better idea?" 

"Gimme another smoke. I'm going outside."  

"B-but I just said about Sakura-" Naruto spluttered, clutching his battered cigarettes defensively.  

"If I have to sit in this room another minute longer, I'll puke." Sasuke snatched the pack out of his hands. He crossed the room in a few quick steps, taking care to hide the stiffness of his sore joints. "You comin'?" he called over his shoulder.  

 

* * *

 

"You'da never been able to smoke without the lighter," Naruto grumbled when he appeared on his own doorstep a few minutes later.  

"I was counting on you to follow me." Sasuke took a deep drag and immediately regretted it as his head started to swim.    

Naruto snorted. "So what's your big bad plan? Do you even have one?" 

"We don't give Danzo time to regroup. We hit him hard and fast while he's still reeling. Get him before he gets us."  

"But HOW?" Naruto's voice was harsh with frustration. "Sakura's never gonna agree unless you give her something more specific." He set his jaw mulishly. "Besides you can hardly walk. I could kick your ass with both hands tied behind my back right now."  

"I won't be the one doing the fighting. That's what I need you for." As he spoke, the plan crystalized, becoming more clear and solid with every word. "I'll lure him out. He has to deal with me as soon as possible or risk exposure. I'm a walking liability for him, even with only hearsay. While he's distracted-" 

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" Naruto ogled him in disbelief.   

Sasuke grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him close. 

"You know we don't have time to sit around and argue about what we're going to do," He said through gritted teeth. "I'm still in danger whether I'm sitting pretty in your room or not, and I don't know about you, but I'd rather go out fighting,"  

"Don't say that." Naruto squirmed uncomfortably in his grasp. "There's gotta be a way-" 

"There isn't! He still has..." Karin and Suigetsu's faces flashed before him. "I just want this to be over."  _I'm so tired of being afraid._  

"And what are you gonna do when it's all over?" Naruto asked, his head cocked to the side. He fixed Sasuke with another piercing look; the kind that read him right down to his bones. "Are you gonna go back to school?" He sounded sad.  

"I don't know!" Sasuke snapped. "It doesn't matter." 

Naruto's expression darkened. "It doesn't matter because you think you're not gonna make it out." 

 _The good guys don't always win. Look at_ _Juugo_ _\- he was easily the best of us._  

"Don't be ridiculous." 

"Look me in the eye and tell me you aren't thinkin' about how easy it would be to die in some grand gesture. Be a hero without having to face any consequences- two birds with one stone, amirite?"  

"Fuck you." Sasuke felt the tips of his ears flush, and hated his body for giving him away.  

"Yeah that's what I thought."  

"You don't get it, do you? There is no happy ending for me. School is fucked, my friend is dead, my family..." Sasuke hurled the cigarette butt as far as he could, and after a moment's hesitation, followed it with Naruto's lighter.  

"Do you think I can go back to my normal life after this? After you?" His breath came in ragged gasps.  

Naruto didn't bat an eyelash.  

"Would you want to?" he asked, low and deadly. "Sounds like you were real happy, selling drugs an' lying to your folks all the time. You think they'd accept you more as a criminal than as a fag?"  

Sasuke felt like he'd been kicked in the chest. All the fight went out of him in a breath. He thought of his father's stern frown and all the talk about family and blood.   

"Honestly, I don't know."  

He relinquished his hold, but Naruto stayed close, pressing their foreheads together.  

"Me either. I want you to be happy. I want us to be together." 

 _And what would_ _Itachi_ _think about that?_  

"This is the only way! Do you think we can live with Danzo's shadow over us?" 

"We're gonna take care of him," Naruto promised, "together. You bein' all stubborn and selfish is what got you into this mess in the first place, so maybe you should actually ask for help this time around." 

Sasuke didn't respond. 

"Do you trust me?" 

"Yes." 

"Then let's wait one more day." Naruto took his arm to guide him back inside. 

 

* * *

 

Sasuke lay awake listening to Naruto's soft snores. The futon wasn't quite big enough to fit the two of them comfortably and sagged considerably in the middle under their combined weight, but Naruto had insisted, clinging to Sasuke like a limpet until he relented.  

He tugged at the hem of an unfamiliar shirt. At least he'd been able to shower, though wearing Naruto's clothes afterwards brought up feelings of domesticity that he had to quash. It was too simple, too easy to get used to. 

 _If I wake up next to him tomorrow_ _I'll_ _never_ _leave. Maybe that's what he wants._  

Naruto mumbled into his pillow and rolled over, taking the blankets with him. Sasuke gave up on sleep entirely and went to stare out the window at the skeletal outlines of trees in the moonlight. Wind moved through the bare branches, causing them to bob and sway like reaching fingers.  

 _Danzo's_ _out there somewhere._  

He suddenly missed the solid heft of the baseball bat in his hands, but that was back at the motel, unreachable as if it were on the moon.  

 _I might as well be back there for all the difference_ _it's_ _going to make. I'm defenseless with_ _a giant target painted on my back,_ he thought, though that wasn't entirely true. This time he had Naruto and Sakura casting their protective net around him.  

 _But I had Karin,_ _Suigetsu,_ _and_ _Juugo_ _, and all our precautions couldn't keep us safe. Naruto and Sakura are willingly sticking their necks out even though_ _they're_ _innocent._ _I_ _have to protect them, no matter what. They don't deserve to die for me._  

Sasuke moved silently through the room. Naruto had taken to carrying a switchblade in his pocket ever since he'd been jumped by the truckers, and sure enough, it was still nestled in the discarded pair of pants.  

He debated writing a note, so they'd know what happened in case everything went south and he never got a chance to explain.  

 _I'm not good enough with words to make them understand._  

Instead he watched Naruto sleep, memorizing the way his mouth gaped open slightly and his arm curled up under his pillow.  

 _I'm sorry. I can't give you the happy life you want for us, but I can sure as hell make it so that you live to share that dream with someone else._  

Sasuke reached out and brushed a lock of hair out of his face, then stole away into the night.


	24. Close That Door

Waking up next to Ino the second time was even better than the first- no screeching birds or shrill alarm clock, only their legs tangled together for warmth under the blankets. Ino murmured sleepily as Sakura woke her with a kiss on the tip of her ear. 

"Wake up, sleepyhead."

She yawned and stretched cat-like. "Whyyyyy? The diner's still closed. I don't have anywhere to be today. Speaking of," she flopped over onto her stomach, "Kakashi gave us some excuse about how Sasuke went off on a hike by himself and got lost and we had to close for a few days because the kitchen was full of cockroaches but that's a little convenient don't you think? Plus you, Naruto, and Kakashi have all been acting super weird since he went missing. I'm not buying it."

_I knew this would happen eventually._

Sakura blew her bangs off her forehead. She needed more time to think. 

"Shower first," she said, poking Ino in the side. "It's a long story and I don't want to tell it feeling like a grease ball." 

"Promise you aren't going to sneak out the bathroom window instead?" Her tone was light but there was hurt in her eyes. 

_I can't keep lying to her, not if I want a real relationship. But would_ _Sasuke_ _see it as betrayal? Would I put her in_ _harm's_ _way?_

Sakura swatted her on the butt. "What, do you want to supervise me?" She said with forced playfulness. 

"Mmm I'll admit the thought is tempting." Ino snaked an arm around her waist and gave her a little squeeze. "But if that's the case, then your shower is much bigger than mine. And you could explain what's going on while we walk over," she added pointedly.

_She isn't going to let this go._

"Ino, the whole deal with Sasuke, it isn't a trivial bit of gossip. There's something seriously dangerous going on. People have already been hurt and-"

"All the more reason to let me know what the fuck is going on," her jaw clenched. "Honestly, do you think I'm going to let you risk your own ass alone? Maybe Sasuke and I aren't friends but I'm sure as hell gonna show up for you. I'm not an idiot, Sakura. Let me help."

_Please forgive me._

"Okay, okay fine. Go get dressed. Just... listen to the whole thing first? You can yell at me later."

To Sakura's surprise, Ino did manage to stay quiet as she unfolded the story from the very beginning of Sasuke's arrival in Bedford Falls to the roots of the conspiracy in which they were all embroiled. Ino' eyes widened and at times she gasped or grumbled low in her throat, but she never interrupted. When Sakura finished, she could only shake her head. 

"I don't know if I should kiss you because you're still alive or kill you for keeping this from me for so long." 

"I'm sorry."

"I just don't understand why you thought you couldn't trust me," her cheeks, red from the cold, got a few shades darker. "Like, of all things to hide from me, why something that could actually put you in danger? I know I don't always have the best judgment but I'm not stupid."

"Of course not!" Sakura bit her lip. "I wanted to tell you more than anything but I was more afraid that it wasn't my story to share. I was so lonely not being able to rely on you."

Ino's gloved hand darted out to give hers a quick squeeze before letting go. 

"We're going to meet at the diner this afternoon actually." Sakura fiddled with her purse. 

"So about that shower, were you serious about letting me..." Ino trailed off, uncharacteristically bashful. "I mean, that's what, like, normal couples do but if you aren't ready or whatever..."

Sakura nudged her shoulder. "I wouldn't make you walk all this way for nothing." She fumbled for her keys with frozen hands but found the door was unlocked. Her heart leapt into her mouth. 

_I locked it on my way out, I'm sure._

"Hello?" She pushed the door open, ready to grab Ino and run. 

"Sakura dear!" Her mother was seated in her recliner, hands folded primly, waiting. Her father slouched next to her on the couch. Sakura was filled with an instant regret that she'd given her parents the spare key to the apartment in case of an emergency. 

"What's going on? I don't see anything on fire," She gave an uneasy laugh as she toed her shoes off.  

Mrs. Haruno's expression soured when she saw Ino standing behind her. "We have some important family business to discuss. Your father and I have been concerned about your..." Her eyes flicked back to Ino, "behavior of late. It's time we all sat down together for a little chat."

Sakura saw a pamphlet clutched in her hand. She couldn't make out the title but there was a large cross emblazoned above it. 

"Ino, you should go on ahead. Tell Kakashi I might be a bit late for my shift. Family emergency. He can call if he needs anything," she said softly, praying that she understood the message. 

Ino nodded and shot one last look back at the living room. 

"Take care."

And then she was gone, leaving Sakura feeling for all the world like she'd just stepped into the lion's den. 

 

* * *

 

"Have a seat, dear," Mrs. Haruno dabbed at the sheen of sweat on her forehead with a handkerchief. Her smile stretched too tight over her teeth. 

"What do you want to talk about?" Sakura edged her way across the room but remained standing, keeping the coffee table between her and her parents. "Honestly, it feels a little like you're invading my privacy here." 

Her mother's mouth pulled down at the corners. 

"There are times when it' necessary," her father intervened. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight on the cushions. "Now your mother and I, we've come to suspect-"

"Don't be so gauche about it," her mother hissed before turning back to Sakura. "Your father and I have noticed some concerning elements in your behavior."

"You mentioned that before. Do you have any examples?"

She arched an eyebrow. "For starters, my daughter would never talk back to me in such a way."

_Past tense. They're already distancing themselves from me. Like I died._

Mrs. Haruno placed a hand on her chest, as if to gather her strength before continuing. 

"I should've realized sooner. You never dated much in high school, never even seemed INTERESTED in dating, and then you spurned that poor Lee..."

"What exactly are you trying to say, mother?" Sakura's voice was full of steel. 

"It's our fault, really. You were far too old to be having sleepovers together, but we assumed it was innocent girlhood bonding-"

"You can get help," her father proffered a pamphlet, eyes shining with hope. "We love you so much, darling, and we'd hate to see you suffer. This program has a very high success rate. I-I just want my little girl back."

Numbly, Sakura leafed through it. Her hands clenched tighter and tighter with every word until the paper crumpled into a little ball in her hands. 

_Has your son or_ _daughter_ _strayed_ _into homosexuality?_  It read in a sickeningly bold font,  _Get them back on the right path with the Good Christian Youth Program._  The inside was filled with glowing testimonials from both families and "patients" alike. 

"You can't be serious." Her body was cold all over. 

_It's too late to laugh it off as a joke, or get angry like I'm offended at the thought. They even saw Ino coming home with me! This can't be happening. I guess I thought deep down they'd accept me._ _What do_ _I_ _do_ _what do I_ _do_ _?_  

The phone rang. 

Sakura tripped over her feet and nearly fell flat on her face in her haste to answer it, which allowed her father to swoop in and pick it up before she got the chance. 

"Haruno residence."

_Please God don't let it be Naruto._

A furrow appeared between Mr. Haruno's eyebrows. He pulled off his glasses and rubbed them business-like on his shirt. 

"I'm her father."

"Yes, I understand, but we're having a family- alright, very well." He handed the phone over to her.

"Hello?" Sakura asked. It was difficult to get air around the huge weight sitting on her chest. 

"You're late," Kakashi drawled on the other end. He sounded all too pleased with himself. 

"I know. I'm sorry." 

"Do you think you can get away? A simple yes or no will suffice."

Sakura glanced at her parents, who were staring at her, not even pretending to give her any privacy for the conversation. 

"I'm afraid I can't." 

Kakashi hummed in the back of his throat. "I suspected as much from what Ino told me. Sit tight, we'll get this all figured out."

"But-"

"Now hang up and look angry. If your parents ask, I just scolded you because we're swamped and you won't come in to help out." The line went dead.

Sakura didn't have to feign her anger as she slammed the handset down. 

_Wh_ _at_ _the hell is he thinking? I can't hold out_ _much longer_ _._

"This whole stupid conversation is costing me good money in tips," she mumbled by way of explanation and to buy herself some more time.

_If I protest, I'll only look guiltier_ _._  

"Your family is more important," her mother intoned with tears in her eyes. She closed the distance to wrap Sakura in her arms. 

"My baby girl," she whispered in her ear. "Your father and I want what's best for you. We want you to be happy, healthy, and successful. Whatever we did to set you on this path, please forgive us. Find the strength in yourself to get better."

Sakura wasn't sure whether she wanted to laugh or scream at the hypocrisy. 

_If you love me, let me go._

She was suffocating under the weight of the kisses placed on top of her head, drowning in the once-comforting scent of her mother's perfume. She stood and let her cradle her face, and run fingers through her hair. Her father came up behind and gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder. 

"It's not what you think. I-If you'll let me explain-" Sakura began in a halting voice.  _It's my only option at this point. I can only hope they'll listen and try to understand._

An ear-shattering blast from a car horn tore through the moment. Mrs. Haruno startled with a small "oh" and released her daughter. It was followed by a knock a few seconds later. 

"Are you kidding me?" Her father advanced on the door, glowering at the unseen visitor. "We can't have TEN SECONDS together to discuss important-" his jaw dropped open when he saw Kakashi leaning against the frame.

"Sorry to intrude," he said breezily, side-stepping the shocked Mr. Haruno. 

"But-but the Diner... you said-" Sakura stammered as she tried to recover herself. 

"I know, I know, I said we should keep our relationship under wraps a little while longer, but your folks sound like such lovely people. I couldn't pass up this opportunity to meet them." He planted a dry kiss on her mother's hand. 

Sakura had to physically restrain herself from covering her eyes in horror. 

_Is it possible to literally die of embarrassment?_

Her parents looked like they could catch flies in their gaping mouths. Only Kakashi seemed unfazed, as he grabbed Sakura's hand and gave it a little squeeze. 

"I-I-I-" The gears in Sakura's head were screeching and screaming to turn.  _I was so close! I want to rip it_ _off like a band-aid, get the truth out in the open._

"How long have you hid this from us?" Her mother asked, hand clasped to her bosom. She sat back down heavily on the sofa.

"Oh we haven't been official very long. Sakura wanted to wait and make sure it was alright with the two of you before we started courting publicly," he bowed his head. "I apologize if I've been over-hasty. I truly care for your daughter."

_A_ _good_ _cover,_ she thought faintly. _The_ _age difference is scandalous enough that it makes sense that I'd hide our relationship. That plus the fact I've been spending so much time at the diner lately..._

She wrapped an arm around Kakashi's back and pressed her waist into his hip. With difficulty, she raised her eyes to meet her parents'. 

_Why am I going along with this?_

"I'm sorry I lied to you. I was afraid you'd make me quit my job or... worse." The lie tasted less bitter than it might have earlier now that she knew their true colors.  

"So this means you aren't-" her father cleared his throat. With a wave of his hand he gestured to the crumpled remains of the brochure in her hand.

Sakura shook her head mutely. 

"Well uh, we'll definitely have to talk about this later, young lately," a frown pinched his face, but Kakashi was already tugging her towards the door, muttering something about "borrowing her for a minute." Her mother watched on dazedly. 

Once she was safely in the passenger seat, Ino and Naruto's arms wrapped around her from the back. They squeezed tight as she let out a choked sob. 

"Shh shh it's gonna be alright," Ino soothed as Sakura tried to stop the tremors shooting up and down her limbs. 

"I hope so," Naruto said in a surprisingly grave tone. "We gotta find Sasuke first."


	25. Pariah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, sorry for the delay. I had originally intended to wrap everything up in one massive last chapter but I decided that it really would be better split into two. Thanks for sticking with me so far, tune in next time for the stunning conclusion! 
> 
> (and once again, thanks to RedBeardtheNotPirate for the beta)

He hovered outside the door like the moth that was tirelessly banging itself into the sickly yellow hall light. The motel was suspiciously quiet; no creaking bedsprings or alcoholic yelling. It was as if the whole building was holding its breath, waiting for Sasuke to make a move.

The door flew open before he mustered up the courage to knock. Itachi looked him up and down before retreating back inside with the barest flick of his fingers to indicate that Sasuke should follow.

"I think it's creepy that you're staying in my old room, by the way," Sasuke said as he sat down in the single chair in the dinette and placed his feet on the table. Itachi's eye twitched but he said nothing as he took the bed. "It did make it easier for me to find you though, which I'm sure was part of your plan all along."

Itachi steepled his fingers and gave him a stern look. "My plan was for you to stay safe in the hospital until you fully recovered while I attempted to re-trace your steps to see how and where Danzo tracked you down. But yes, I did had my suspicions that you wouldn't cooperate," he amended.

Sasuke fought down the anger that was attempting to claw its way up his throat. He hated sitting and chatting like there hadn’t been years of festering resentment and dysfunction between them that led to this point.

"I'm here now. Cooperating."

"And what does that mean exactly?"

Sasuke tried to light a cigarette, partly to steady his nerves and partly to piss off Itachi but he couldn't conceal the tremors running through his fingers.

"I'm surrendering. Turning myself in. I'll flip on Orochimaru's operation and Danzo's involvement in it. You can take a formal statement or whatever."

"No." Itachi's face was as blank and flat as a piece of glass, his voice with a razor's edge to match it.

"What?"

_And now for the fireworks._

"Think for a moment, wouldn't you? This would affect more than just yourself. Think about our family, Sasuke. Dad's career. When the press gets wind that you've been involved with a murderous drug lord, it won't matter if you manage to produce enough evidence to convict Danzo, which I doubt, by the way, they'll crucify you. The Uchiha name needs to be protected. Our family stands as an image, an example of justice and upholding the law. We are more than just ourselves, which is something you never seemed to understand."

Sasuke bit back a laugh. _Like I give a fuck about any of that at this point._

"I can make this go away. Make Danzo go away. He's clearly working with a very small group of supporters, if not totally alone by now. He likely doesn't even know I'm here, if he even knows who I am at all. With my training... he'll just disappear."

_I'd be free. Juugo will get justice. I could have my happy ending._

"No!" The word burst out of him more fiercely than he expected. Itachi blinked in surprised.

"Don't you get it?" He stood so fast he knocked the chair back and began to pace across the kitchen, running his hands through his hair. "THIS, this is why I can't stand our fucking family. Don't you see it?"

Itachi cocked his head. 

"The hypocrisy! God, you're talking about murdering a man in cold blood to protect our precious fucking _image_. Because we can break laws left and right like they don't apply to us as long as we don't get caught." This time he threw his head back and really did laugh. "At least I'm the only one who's honest about it." 

Sasuke glanced around the dinette because more than anything he needed a drink, but the shelves were bare.

_Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I'll have to find a way to do everything on my own after all._

Itachi still hadn't moved from his seat on the bed. He was watching Sasuke the way he used to watch birds in the garden.

"So you're willing to risk alienation? Even jail time?"

"I made the mess. I should be the one to sleep in it." _And no one else. Not Naruto, not Sakura, Not Karin or Suigetsu. Not even you._

Something like pride flashed in Itachi's eyes.

"I see. You're dedicated to walking the hard path despite the easy way out I'm offering you and in doing so risk exposing our family to uncomfortable scrutiny."

"Yes." It wasn't phrased as a question but he felt the need to answer anyway. _Is he testing me?_

His brother nodded and stood, suddenly brusque.

"Very well. You can take the bed for the rest of the night. I have a few phone calls to make to old contacts back in Boston."

Sasuke wanted to argue, more on principle than anything else, but the bed seemed to have acquired its own gravitational pull that was making it awfully hard to remain upright.

_Guess I passed,_ he thought as his eyelids drooped and fell asleep fully clothed to the sound of Itachi rifling through a phone book.

 

* * *

 

They drove slowly through Bedford Falls; up and down each dead-end, meandering street, and through the boarded-up beachfront tourist district. They even stopped to get out and search the quays down by the harbor where Sasuke liked to walk in the early morning and a meadow in the middle of the trees that Naruto said was special to them. No luck.

“You’re sure he didn’t leave a note or anything?” Sakura asked for the hundredth time. Naruto shook his head.

“And there was no sign of a struggle? No forced entry?”

“He even locked the door behind him. Like he cares about MY safety but the stupid bastard won’t…” he trailed off with a handful of muttered curses and non-sequiturs.

“Maybe we should check up by the waterfall?” Ino offered. Her hand hadn’t left Sakura’s shoulder since they’d gotten in the car.

“Too far to go on foot,” Kakashi said from the driver’s seat. There were dark circles under his visible eye. He looked older than Sakura had even seen him.

She rubbed her temples. Already the fight with her parents seemed like a distant nightmare against this backdrop of constant chaos and she wanted nothing more than to lie down next to Ino and pretend nothing ever happened.

_We can’t let give up. Think, where would he go and why would he leave without telling anyone? This doesn’t have Danzo’s stink on it._

“I think we should go back to the Double R,” she said finally. Naruto let out a yell of protest but Sakura silenced him with a look in the rearview mirror.

“First and foremost, we need to rest. And eat,” Sakura continued, ticking off her points on her fingers, “Secondly, it’s a safe, neutral spot where Sasuke can meet up with us. I think part of what’s going on is that he doesn’t want to make any of us targets. And finally, we still need to rendezvous with Itachi. He might have information we can use.”

Kakashi nodded thoughtfully. “I’ll give Tobi a call and have him come down and lend a hand. I don’t know about you, but I could use a drink right now.”

_After. I’ll have a drink to celebrate Danzo getting arrested and Sasuke’s safe return._

 

* * *

 

 

Ino, who had been uncharacteristically quiet and reserved during the search, snapped back into her element and set about making coffee like their survival depended on it as soon as they got back to the diner.

Sakura collapsed onto a stool next to Naruto and nudged him with her shoulder until he smiled.  

“I’m sure he has a good reason for doing this,” she said. “He has an odd way of showing it but I think he really loves you.”

Just then the bell over the door jangled and Sakura had to stifle a scream at the sudden noise.

Itachi strode into the diner, head held high like he owned the place and behind him was-

“YOU BASTARD!”  

Naruto flew out of his seat, and with all the finesse of a rhino, charged forward and punched Sasuke in the jaw. He staggered back,bottom lip split, but before he had time to recover Naruto was on him again, this time kissing any part of his face he could reach, scolding in-between.

“No note- thought you were DEAD- fucking- can’t believe- idiot.”

Sasuke stood helpless under the onslaught. He glanced at Sakura in a silent plea but she shook her head.

“You deserve it,” she mouthed, too relieved to be truly angry. That she would save for later.

“Well I guess that solves our first problem,” Kakashi said drily. “Care to explain?” he added with a bit more steel behind it.

“We have a plan,” Itachi said, as if that explained everything.

“Ah well in that case you should sit down. I was under the impression that planning was the purpose of today’s meeting. With all of us present.” Kakashi had a dangerous glimmer in his eye.

“It’s my fault.” Sasuke finally managed to break away. He was holding Naruto at bay with one arm while the other rubbed his cheek. “I was afraid what I had in mind wouldn’t work,” his eyes slid to Itachi, “for personal reasons. So I wanted to run it by my brother first.”

“What does that make us then, huh? You still don’t trust me enough to let me in?” Naruto’s face was flushed crimson and his eyes burned like coals in his head. “You’d rather run off half-cocked to this dick— no offense— and leave us all thinkin’ you were-” He stopped short when Sasuke reached out and took his hand.

“I’ve already put you through enough.” He rubbed a thumb across Naruto’s knuckles as if for good luck. A muscle twitched in his jaw. “That’s why I’ve decided to turn myself in.”

A stunned silence fell over the room.

_After all that fighting, all that pain, he expects us to let go?_

Judging from the way Naruto’s jaw was working furiously as he tried to come up with something to say, he felt similarly. Even Kakashi’s visible eye was narrowed.

_But Danzo isn’t going to go away. He’s in too deep just like the rest of us. We’re all liabilities now._

“He’s right.” Sakura said finally, and Sasuke’s head snapped up to meet her gaze. He was still standing in the middle of the diner, holding Naruto’s hand like a lifeline. “That’s the one thing Danzo’s afraid of— exposure. Sasuke’s the only one left who could pull the wool off everyone’s eyes, so to speak. If he testifies…”

“But he could go to JAIL,” Naruto burst out.

_He knows._

“I’m working on that angle,” Itachi said. “I have some connections who might be able to work out a deal.”

Sakura tuned out Naruto’s indignant response. Her chest hurt; a deep, bone-weary ache. Her untouched cup of coffee sat cold in front of her. Ino pushed it aside and lightly touched her arm.

“Want to step out back for a minute?”

Sakura followed her gratefully through the kitchen and out to the dumpsters. Their breath formed little white clouds in the fading light.

“Sorry, this is all kinda overwhelming for me.”

“Me too.” Sakura rested her head against Ino’s shoulder.

“You should’ve stayed in nursing school. You could be out having a nice dinner with all your fancy college friends right now.” Her tone was light but her smile strained at the corners.

“More like having a date with my textbook.” When Ino didn’t respond, Sakura added, “I used to think about that all the time, though. How I was wasting away in Bedford Falls when I could be doing something important.”

“Then why’d you leave in the first place?”

Sakura shrugged. She’d been asking herself that question for a year. “I think even then I wanted to be with you. I dunno, I felt really empty. Like I was missing a piece of myself but I couldn’t find it in Seattle no matter how hard I looked.”

Ino swallowed audibly. She poked the toe of her shoe through the crust of snow on the ground while she tried to find words.

“After all this is over, your parents…” a shaky breath, “I don’t want to go back to the way things were before. I don’t think I can.”

_Me either._

She tilted her head up and gave Ino a kiss on the cheek.

“I was going to tell my parents the truth before Kakashi barged in.”

“You WHAT-” Ino whirled around to face her, eyes wide.

“I refuse to hide anymore. It’s exhausting, and demeaning and- and- I want people to know how much I love you, damnit.” A fever-heat was rising in her. A spark of madness that was setting her whole brain on fire. “If our parents don’t like it, we can leave. What’s stopping us other than ourselves? With all the crazy shit that’s been going on… Life’s too short. And I want to live it with you. Even if it’s hard,” she finished ineloquently, setting her jaw.  

“You-,” Ino swiped at her glistening eyes with the back of her hand, “you’re really serious about this?”

“I’ve never been more sure.”

“Then so am I.” Ino pulled the scrunchie out of her hair to make her ponytail higher and tighter the way she did before the dinner rush on a Saturday night. “Let’s go back in there and find a way to kick Danzo’s ass.”


	26. Pariah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! As you can see, this fic still isn't ~quite~ finished as I still have some major kinks to work out at the end. Still, I wanted to give you folks another chapter in the meantime. I can't thank you enough for all your kind comments! I try to respond to them individually so if I missed yours I apologize. 
> 
> Now are you ready for some PAIN?

“The thing is, if Sasuke turns state’s evidence now, there’s nothing to stop Danzo from discrediting him entirely,” Itachi said for what must’ve been the fourth time that evening. “We need hard proof that Danzo’s crooked, otherwise it’ll just be Sasuke’s word against his, and my brother isn’t exactly a credible witness right now.”

_Gee thanks,_ Sasuke thought, even though he knew Itachi was, as ever, annoyingly right. After two hours of debating in circles, they were no closer to finding a solution than they had been at the beginning of the meeting. The only real difference they’d made was measured in coffee cups crowding the sink and the low cloud of smoke hanging in the air.

“He’s not lying!” Naruto stabbed an accusatory finger at his brother.

“I don’t think that’s what he-” Sakura began.

“You don’t think that’s what he meant,” Sasuke finished for her. “Then you’ll talk about some pictures you found at the library and how maybe there’s a clue hidden in there somewhere we just aren’t seeing.”

Sakura’s mouth snapped shut and she dropped her gaze to the floor, heat rising in her cheeks.

“Hey she’s trying to save your ass!” Ino snapped. “Do YOU have any ideas?”

“I think-” Kakashi cut in with a quelling glance at Sasuke before he could respond, “we all need to take a deep breath and stop jumping down each other’s throats.”

_You aren’t the one forced to sit and listen while everyone talks about what a disaster you’ve created._

The phone in Kakashi’s office started to ring, a far away tinny sound. He smiled and spread his hands. “And I bet that’s Tobi realizing that the bar is once again dead tonight and he DOES have time to help us after all. I hope you all like shitty beer.”

“What I’m saying is I think we need to approach the situation from an… underhanded perspective,” Itachi said as Kakashi disappeared into his office. “Danzo isn’t going to fight fair.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Sit down, Naruto.” Sakura absentmindedly chewed a strand of hair. Her eyes stared at an unfocused middle ground, as if she could actually see different scenarios playing out before her. “Danzo has to be desperate by now. He’s already gotten his hands wayyy dirtier than he planned, which means he’s going to be forced to take action soon or risk… well, what we’re doing right now.”

“Wonderful,” Ino muttered into her hands.

“But we can use this to our advantage! He’s off-balance, more likely to make a mistake. If we can lure him out and force him to act in the open…”

Itachi nodded his approval.

“So what you wanna use Sasuke as bait or something?” Naruto threw his hands up in the air. “Ain’t gonna happen.”

“I’m sitting right here.”

“Well what do you think?” Sakura asked. “Out of everyone here, you have the most at stake and you’ve been surprisingly… quiet.”

Sasuke fumbled with his lighter. “I think there’s been too much talk and not enough action.” _Before I lose my nerve._

Kakashi strode back into the dining area looking vexed. “Something’s up at One Eyed-Jack’s. Tobi couldn’t tell me outright, but he managed to slip in a few of our old tactical codes we used back in Nam.”

“Could be a trap to draw us out,” Itachi said, tilting his head back, “Especially since that was the sight of Sasuke’s disappearance, correct?”

“Oh I have no doubt. It seemed Tobi was doing a fair job of stalling whoever was there but we need to move quickly. You all should stay here but I can’t leave him without backup.” He finished the rest of his coffee in one gulp and rubbed a hand across the back of his head.

“Well you sure as hell aren’t going alone,” Sakura pushed her chair back and Ino followed suit.

Sasuke expected Kakashi to forbid it outright, or at the very least protest, but instead he nodded.

“You two can wait in the car. At the first sign of trouble drive back here and pick up the others. Do not under any circumstances go to the police. Danzo could very well have bought them out by now. We need to be careful.”

Itachi agreed. “I’ve got some of my people at the FBI on standby. They can be here in a few hours, but I want to make sure we have evidence before we call them in to take Sasuke into custody. If there’s one thing I share with Danzo, it’s that I want this wrapped up as quietly as possible.” His gaze slid to Sasuke.

_So he’s still trying to protect our fucking reputation first and foremost. I’ll always come second._ A hot flash of rage shot through him, but he knew without his brother’s help they didn’t have a chance.   

“On three then?” Naruto said half-joking as he stuck his arm out to the middle of the table. Sasuke rolled his eyes and nudged him with his shoulder but Sakura reached over and gave his hand a little squeeze.  

“Go team,” she murmured.

 

* * *

 

They sat in silence as Kakashi’s car rattled up the lonely hill the lead to One Eyed Jack’s. Sakura’s nerves were twisted up in little knots between her stomach and throat. The bare trees were suddenly sinister, reaching beings. Ino’s hand was clammy on the back of her neck.

The parking lot was empty save for Tobi’s battered old jeep. Music filtered out over the still air, but otherwise there were no signs of life from within the bar. Kakashi’s frown deepened.

“He hates this song.”

He stretched his long legs out of the cab and casually removed his sidearm from the glove compartment, finger on the safety. He craned his neck around to speak to Sakura and Ino in a harsh whisper.

“I’m going to check the perimeter. If you see or hear anything funny while I’m gone, get the hell out of here.”

Ino nodded, wide-eyed as he pressed the keys into her hand.

Kakashi disappeared around the side of the bar.

_Are you regretting helping out now?_ She wanted to ask, as Ino hugged her knees to her chest, but she was too afraid to break the stillness.

After what felt like an eternity, Kakashi reappeared from the other direction gave them a thumbs-up before slipping in through the front door. Ino breathed an audible sigh of relief.

They waited. Sakura kept every sense tuned towards the building, but all she heard was that same song playing over and over. The lights never flickered.

_How long is too long? Should we leave right away or should we try and check on him first?_

Her hand hovered over the handle.

At that moment a figure shot out of One-Eyed Jack’s and made a beeline for the car. Ino jammed the key into the ignition and was about to step on the gas when Sakura recognized who it was.

“Wait, it’s Tobi!”

His hair was mussed and his clothes ripped and stained, but he pressed up against the window, very much alive.

“Are you alright?”

Tear tracks streaked down his cheeks but when he looked at her, his expression was vacant. 

“Where’s Kakashi?” Ino hadn’t moved her foot off the pedal.

Tobi’s lower lip twitched on the side of his face that wasn’t frozen. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, then slowly raised his hands. He was holding a gun.

“I-I’m afraid you’re going to have to come with me.”

 

* * *

 

Without Sakura, Ino, and Kakashi to act as buffers, the mood in the diner became even more tense. Itachi sat like a statue; barely blinking, his fingertips pressed together in that way of his that made him look like a disapproving aristocrat. Naruto, on the other hand, couldn’t stop moving. He jiggled his legs, got up, paced around, muttered half-formed schemes to himself before sitting back down. He couldn’t stop touching Sasuke— a hand on his head, brushing down his shoulder, an arm wrapped around his lower back.

Sasuke wished he’d stop.

_Itachi may not look like he’s paying attention but he doesn’t miss a thing._

But Naruto didn’t get his telepathic messages, so he lit another cigarette and tried not to think about how hard it would be to get smokes in jail.

“You told Mother you were going on a camping trip.” Itachi said suddenly. Both Sasuke and Naruto turned to look at him with puzzled expressions.

“Yeah. I didn’t want her to file a missing person’s report right away. Needed time to get as far from Boston as possible.” _Plus I didn’t want her to worry. I wanted to let her have peace for as long as I could._

“I was wondering how Danzo managed to track you down in the first place,” Itachi mused. “He must’ve had our home line tapped.”

_Of course he did. Fuck. Should’ve seen that coming._ He ground his cigarette butt out in the overstuffed ashtray. He was too tired to care about his own stupidity anymore.

“Was Danzo the only reason you went dark like that or was there… something else?” his brother’s eyes flicked to Naruto.

“Can we not do this right now?” Cold stole over him. Sasuke realized that he’d been stubbornly clinging to the idea that he’d be able to return back to the Double R, back to Naruto and Sakura and even Shikamaru’s constant complaining.

_But now my family’s involved. If Itachi finds a way to let me off the hook, they’ll expect me to come right back home like an obedient little dog to repent. If they’ll take me back at that, that is. I’ll have to pretend nothing ever happened because Uchihas keep their mouths shut and do what needs to be done without question. Like get married, have a couple brats…_

“Hey hey, Sasuke I’m hungry. D’you know to make those omelets like Shikamaru does? I betcha Kakashi won’t notice if a few eggs go missing hehe.” Naruto stopped his pacing to poke him in the back.

Sasuke was about to tell him to fuck off and make his own damn food when Naruto pressed down more insistently.

_We can talk alone in the kitchen._

He gave his most put-upon sigh. “Fine. But I’m going to show you how so the next time you can do it all by yourself like a big boy. Can’t have you setting the kitchen on fire. Again.”

“There was just a little grease-”

“You want anything?” He called casually over his shoulder but Itachi waved him away.

The kitchen was eerie in its stillness; without elbows and hot pots to dodge, or the clamor of knives on boards, sizzling oil, and muffled curses. It was too vast, too sterile.

Naruto didn’t seem to notice as he flicked on the lights, strolled over to the walk-in, and began rummaging around.

“What’s the deal with your brother anyways? He acts like a freakin’ pod person.”

“He’s always been like that.” Sasuke searched under the sink until he found the small frying pan Shikamaru kept tucked away for personal use.

Naruto snorted. “And here I thought YOU were the one with a big stick up your ass.”

“You should see the rest of my family.”

“I wouldn’t mind, yanno,” his head was stuck far enough into the cooler that his voice was muffled, but he sounded wistful. “I could even rent a suit, slick my hair back…”

The impossibility of it all made Sasuke ache, but he tried to imagine a world where he could walk through the front door with Naruto on his arm, his parents over-dressed but excited to welcome him to dinner.

“My dad would definitely still disapprove,” he smirked, “but I think you’d get along pretty well with my mom. She’s all sweet and quiet but she has a wicked sense of humor.”

“’Splains why she had you.”

An earsplitting bang rang out from the front, followed by the crashing, cascading sound of breaking glass and Itachi cursing. Sasuke crouched low until he could peer over the lip of the serving station. What he saw made the breath freeze in his chest.

Danzo stood amongst the icy shards of the shattered front window. He had a gun trained on Itachi.

“Where’s Sasuke?” He took a step forward, the glass crunching under his feet. Itachi stayed perfectly still with his hands in the air.

“I know he’s here somewhere.” Another step. His eye roved the diner as if Sasuke might be hiding under one of the tables.

“I’ll find him one way or another.” Danzo reached out and grabbed Itachi by his ponytail and yanked him around so he had him trapped under one arm with the gun barrel shoved under his chin.

“DO YOU HEAR THAT BOY?”

Sasuke locked eyes with Naruto. They had a few minutes at the most and they needed a plan, fast. Wordlessly the other man pointed to the stove; a giant, gas-burning range, then to the shelf above him in the cooler that Shikamaru and Choji referred to as their “booze shelf” behind Kakashi’s back. It held about ¾ of a handle of vodka.

_I hope to god this doesn’t kill us all._

On his hands and knees, Sasuke crawled over to light the stove with a soft click, and a hiss as the gas escaped.

“YOU HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO HIDE. LET’S NOT MAKE THIS MESSY. YOU CAN STILL SAVE YOUR BROTHER.”

_No I can’t. He’s a liability now, same as me._

He motioned Naruto over. Slowly, they backed out until they were in the corridor that lead either forwards to the dining area or out to the dumpsters. Naruto grasped the bottle by the neck.

_I hope you’re a good shot._

“Why don’t you let him go?” Sasuke called. “You said it first— let’s not make this messy.”

Danzo spat on the ground. “Show me your face. Hands where I can see ‘em.”

Sasuke stuck his head out through the double doors. Itachi squinted at him and Sasuke prayed they’d be far away enough from the blast. That the walls would offer them just enough protection that they could get away. 

_I’m sorry. I don’t have any other choice._

“Is your little boyfriend back there too?”

Naruto cocked his arm back and raised an eyebrow. Sasuke nodded.

The bottle sailed through the air and smashed beautifully onto the lit stove. It seemed to Sasuke that the world was moving in slow motion. Danzo’s head turned at the noise, Itachi stomped down on his insole, a ball of fire expanded up and out with a whoosh, the heat pulsating like a living thing. Glass jars exploded. Naruto let out a yell as the kitchen, most surfaces covered in a thick layer of crusted grease, was enveloped in flames. Sasuke grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him through the thick smoke, coughing and gagging, out past the dumpsters, and headlong into the woods beyond.

Blindly he could feel his feet slipping on the steep ground, unable to find purchase on the icy terrain. Then they were falling, the Double R alight like a comet behind them.   


	27. Coming Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final countdown- I mean, chapter! I feel like I've just given birth. This fic would not have been written without RedBeardtheNotPirate (seriously go check out his work as well), and of course all of you lovely readers/commenters/kudos-ers.

Tobi took the keys out of Ino’s shaking hands, then herded the two women out of the car. They made an awkward, single-file procession into the bar. Every step Sakura took felt heavier than the last.

_Oh God is he going to kill us? What’s happening? It’s Tobi! We trusted him. Was he working for Danzo all along?_

It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the gloom as she heard the door lock shut behind her. Signs of a struggle were everywhere; stools overturned, a smashed glass with liquor dripping in an amber river down the side of the bar, and Kakashi with his arms tightly tied to the pool table behind him. His head slumped forward but at least his breathing was unlabored and even.

“Holy shit,” Ino said, wide-eyed.

Sakura took a cautious half-step towards him but Tobi grabbed her arm and spun her back around.

_Keep your head. We have to find a way out of here. Look for something we could use as a weapon. Anything._

“Why are you doing this?” Sakura asked at the same time Ino shouted “Let her go!” She was surprised at how calm her voice sounded even as Tobi’s fingernails dug into her wrist.

“You wouldn’t understand.” He motioned with the gun for the two girls to join Kakashi by the pool table. He kept the barrel trained on them as he stumbled towards the bar.

_Is he drunk? In shock? Did Kakashi get a few good hits in before he went down?_ She tracked his every movement looking for clues.

“Why don’t you try us?” Ino said. Her face was drained of color but her eyes flashed dangerously. She edged over so that she stood in front of Sakura, shielding her. She gave a meaningful look at the green-carpeted table.

_Of course! The sticks are all lined up against the wall, but I bet he didn’t think to clear out the pockets…_

Sakura backed up slowly until she felt the corner against her upper thighs.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done and I-I can’t back out now.”

His hands trembled as he poured himself a drink. Most of it ended up on the bar rather than in the glass.

_Easy now. Breathe._ She inched her hands down lower.

“I wish you girls hadn’t come along. It was just supposed to be Kakashi.”

“You wanted to separate us,” Sakura pointed out, “why?” Her hands fumbled in the confines of the pocket, her fingertips grazing something round and hard. _Almost…_ A trickle of sweat slipped down the back of her neck.

Tobi took a long swallow, grimaced, and shook his head.

“Sasuke,” he said.

“What—” Ino began, but the pieces had fallen into place for Sakura and she could see the whole terrible picture.

“It was you. Sasuke stopped for a drink here before he disappeared. He was upset, and drunk, and— he would’ve DIED.”

Tobi flinched. “I didn’t have a choice. Danzo he— he was the one. Came into town one day asking questions about new folks in town and he seemed nice enough at first but then…”

He took a deep breath; another pull, this time straight from the bottle. “Started threatnin’ me. And Kakashi. Said he’d kill us. Or expose us so the rest of the town could kill us,” he laughed bitterly. “I almost died when we lost Rin,” he said quietly to himself. “Never again.” 

_Expose…_ Sakura shot a sideways look at Kakashi’s still form. She thought about how he’d taken in Naruto and Sasuke and nudged them together with a fondness that belied his gruff exterior. _He never talked about his personal life. Never mentioned any ex-wives or girlfriends, but Tobi always seemed to be at his side._

She remembered her parents’ pasted-on smiles, the pamphlet turning to mush in her sweaty hands. She remembered Naruto lying beaten and helpless behind a dumpster. A potent mixture of rage, fear, and an ugly kind of pity was building within her.

Kakashi’s eyelids fluttered and he let out a small groan.

_Stay quiet, stay still. The element of surprise is all we’ve got._

“But why didn’t you tell us?” Ino burst out. “If you were being threatened ‘n shit. We could’ve helped, maybe stopped Danzo sooner—”

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND,” Tobi roared. He slammed the bottle back onto the bar with such ferocity that the bottom shattered, drenching his shirt with amber liquid.

“He’s too strong. He was watching me, knew everything about where I went, who I talked to. Some of the local officers were in his pocket too,” he tossed aside the jagged neck.

“Danzo said he just needed to bring in Sasuke, that he was a criminal anyways. Somebody dangerous,” Tobi continued, pleading. “If you hadn’t interfered he would’ve left and everything would’ve gone back to the way it was. None of this,” he gestured around.

Sakura’s hand closed around the pool ball. She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief, feeling its heft in her palm.

“Are you gonna let us go?” Ino whispered. “We won’t tell anyone, I swear. I-it can be like you said. Back to the way it was before, right?”

Tobi turned towards her, his face a blank slab.

“It’s too late for that,” he said colorlessly.

_Shit shit shit._

Kakashi stirred again but Tobi didn’t notice as he took slow, methodical steps until he was in between the girls and the door. Sakura nudged him with her foot.

“You’re a fucking psycho, you know that? You’re worse than Danzo— WE TRUSTED YOU,” Ino said even as tears streamed down her face. She flung her arms out in front of Sakura and Kakashi, shielding them with her body. “And if you think we’re gonna make this easy for you…”

“How could you do this to Kakashi?” Sakura added, her heart a jackhammer in her chest. “You mentioned someone named Rin before, said you couldn’t bear to lose anyone else…”

Tobi’s face darkened, but he didn’t respond.

_He’s not planning on making it out alive,_ Sakura thought faintly. Suddenly struggling felt pointless. They were trapped, weakened, and laughably “armed”. The pool ball in her hand was so slick with sweat it was a wonder she could still hold it.

_A rock versus a gun. Who do you think will win?_

A siren blast cut through the endless jukebox music. Tobi started and whipped his head around towards the windows, even though the shades were drawn.

Ino leapt at him. She threw the full force of her weight low at his center of gravity and he stumbled back, grasping ineffectually at her. She grabbed at his wrist but he shook her off easily. He was fumbling at his waistband…

“SAKURA!”

She forced her frozen limbs into action and closed the distance. Ino and Tobi were still grappling with one another, but she had a clear shot of his head. Sakura raised the pool ball and brought it down with a sickening crunch. Tobi yelled out in shock and whirled around, striking her face with a closed fist.

Stars exploded in front of her eyes. Sakura felt her nose give way and a hot spurt of blood dribbled down over her lips and chin. Dimly she heard Ino cry out as Tobi dropped her with a kick to the stomach.

_It’s all over now._

Sakura sank to the sticky floor. She wasn’t afraid any more, only numb. The pool ball fell from her limp fingers and rolled away towards Kakashi. Or where Kakashi should have been. She blinked owlishly for a moment. Hadn’t he been unconscious? Tied to the pool table?

She heard an odd gurgling noise behind her. Tobi’s feet were hovering a few inches off the ground, kicking madly. Then they stopped. He crumpled to the floor like a used tissue.

Kakashi’s blood-splattered face swam into view.

“Can you stand?” His voice was full of concern but in his eyes lurked something harder and darker than she’d ever seen in him before. “I’m sorry I couldn’t intervene sooner. The knots…” He let the rope he was holding fall to the ground.

“Is he…” Sakura thrust her chin at Tobi rather than answer. She didn’t quite trust her legs yet. Over Kakashi’s shoulder she saw Ino stagger to her feet.

Kakashi shook his head. “I just put him out for a little while. I can’t-” He knelt next to Tobi’s limp form, his hands hovering just above him without touching.

“It’s okay.” She felt floaty, disembodied. If it wasn’t for the stinging pain in the center of her face, she would’ve sworn it was all a dream.

“I think you’ll need stitches,” she said, pointing to the gash on the side of his head. “And you’re holding your side funny. Did he break a rib?”

“We’ll worry about that later,” Kakashi said as he tugged her upright. “We need to get back to the diner before it’s too late.”

“I think it already is.” Ino had her head out the door, which she threw open so they could all see. “Remember that siren that saved out asses?”

Smoke towered into the sky. Through the dense trees they could see bright patches of orange off away from the town. Near the interstate, where the Double R sat.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke lay on his back on the icy ground and stared up at the stars while he tried to force air back into his lungs. He was dimly aware of Naruto groaning beside him, but his head felt full of ash; clogged in his nose and throat, the taste invading his mouth. Even his hearing was muffled.

He started to shiver despite the sweat forming on his upper lip. How was the air so cold when his skin was radiating heat?

He pictured Itachi standing over him, frowning.

_Move, you idiot._

Sasuke rolled onto his side. He slowly got to his knees, then stood as shaky as a newborn fawn.

_Now what?_

Naruto scrabbled up to a standing position beside him. He clutched his left arm, which was raw and blistering below the elbow.

“Holy shit,” he croaked. “Where even are we?”

Sasuke shrugged. He could see bits and pieces of their tumble down the slope— broken tree branches, long skids in the dirt, and bright tongues of flame still licked at the diner above them, but there was no sign of the main road anywhere nearby.

“You think your brother made it out okay?” Naruto’s forehead crinkled in concern, which left pale lines cutting through the soot.

“Quiet.” _Should we climb back up to the Double R to check? Should we find a phone to call the fire department? Make for One-Eyed Jack’s? Hitch a ride out of town together and never look back?_

A loud _crack_ split the night. A piece of bark spun off a nearby tree.

_What the-_

“GET DOWN!”

Naruto pinned Sasuke to the earth with a clumsy tackle.

“I’m done playing games,” came Danzo’s voice, faint but full of venom.

He could see the faint shadow of a figure standing against the backdrop of the conflagration, scanning the forest. A bright flash and another shot rang out in a different, random direction.

Sasuke was wracked with a violent shiver. _We won’t last long in the cold like this. And Naruto needs to see a doctor. Danzo’s already over-exposed himself. Somebody’s bound to report the fire or the gunshots. Which means he has absolutely nothing left to lose now._

“Got any more brilliant ideas?” he muttered to Naruto, but the bravado came out hollow and lost.

_We might not have much time left._

“Yeah but you’re not gonna like it.”

“Wha-”

Naruto bent his head down and kissed him with lips that were numb and dry.

“I love you,” he said. His words were thick and harsh in the back of his throat. He looked at Sasuke with a wild mix of pride and defiance and then he was gone, crouching on all fours parallel to the incline. When he was about two hundred feet away— barely an outline in the fading light— he took a deep breath, cupped his hands around his mouth, and yelled with all his might.

“OI FUCKFACE IF YOU WANNA GET THROUGH SASUKE YOU GOTTA GET THROUGH ME FIRST.” Naruto didn’t wait for a reply, diving straight for the treeline and crashing pell-mell through the forest. Bullets sprayed the ground where he’d been standing moments before.

_You ass. You absolute ass._ Fear and cold fury wrapped themselves around his chest.

“YA SCARED?” He sounded further away, drawing Dazno’s attention in the opposite direction.

Danzo snarled but took a step towards his voice. “You can’t hide in there forever. You’ll freeze to death before dawn.”

“I DUNNO I CAN THINK OF A COUPLE WAYS WE CAN KEEP EACH OTHER WARM,” Naruto responded so cheekily that Sasuke could almost hear him winking.

_You’re going to get yourself kill and it’ll be all my fault. You can’t play with this guy; he’ll tear you to shreds, please just run while you still can._

Sure enough, Danzo began picking his way down the ravine. Sasuke edged back into the underbrush and tried to control his teeth chattering.

_Fuck, what can I do?_

“TOO BAD NOBODY WANTS TO SNUGGLE WITH YOUR CRUSTY OLD ASS.”

Danzo was advancing faster. Naruto had made no effort to cover his trail. Sasuke could imagine him crashing through bushes and tripping over roots, breaking branches left and right.

_I have to stop him before he hits the forest._

Sasuke took all his instincts shrieking at him to flee, wrapped them up, and stuffed them down where his self-loathing and jealousy resided. He moved on his toes; light and agile as he could be on half-frozen feet.

He was gaining ground, but not fast enough. The cold air stabbed like knives into lungs. Danzo turned his head side to side, as if he was a bloodhound sniffing the air. Naruto’s voice rang out in the background but all Sasuke’s attention was focused on _moving._

Danzo raised his gun and took aim. Sasuke flung himself forward before he even realized what he was doing. He collided with Danzo’s side, his hands reaching out blindly, scrabbling to knock aside his outstretched arm. The shot went off like a thunderclap inside Sasuke’s head. All he could see was white, then he was thrown to the ground with enough force to knock his breath away.

Then Danzo was on top of him. His face leered cartoonishly in the flickering firelight, each line and crag exaggerated to nightmarish proportions. His lips moved but Sasuke couldn’t hear anything other than a low, constant buzz.

Hands around his throat. Danzo grinned manically. A fleck of spittle shone on his lips. Sasuke gouged at Danzo’s wrists with his fingernails as his brain cried out for oxygen. He came away with chunks of skin, but Danzo didn’t even flinch.

_Fight, fight goddamn you. Naruto won’t forgive you if you give up. Think of Juugo._

Black dots danced in front of his eyes. His body felt like it was weighted with lead. His arms were too heavy. Eyelids too heavy…

Another flash of white.

_Shouldn’t it be getting darker?_

The weight lifted off him and suddenly he could taste cold, sweet air. Sasuke gagged and coughed until he could taste blood on his tongue. Still he lashed out with fists and feet, hoping to connect with flesh.

_Where did he go? Am I dying? Hurts so much…_

His head cleared more with every breath brushing away cobwebs. The white came from above, by the diner. Headlights. Figures with guns drawn descended the slope. Sasuke raised his hands, his fingers sticky with blood.

Danzo was standing in a similar position, only the gun was back in his hand and this time it was jammed up underneath his chin. His lips drew back in a feral snarl. Sasuke closed his eyes. He felt, rather than heard, the bang; a concussion that jolted him down to his bones. A warm, coppery spray against his face. An ending.

 

* * *

 

By the time they got to the Double R, Kakashi’s face was as grey as the ash that fell from the sky. He held himself rigidly in the driver’s seat and moved slower than a man twice his age. Sakura knew his injuries must be deeper than the skin, but all she could do was give him an awkward pat on the shoulder.

He said nothing, merely watched through glassy eyes as his livelihood burned to the ground.

Sakura’s legs gave out when she saw Naruto and Sasuke, paler than ghosts but wonderfully, blissfully whole. Ino wrapped a hand around her waist and leaned into her to keep her upright, guiding her over to where paramedics were examining her boys.

Naruto’s arm was wrapped in bulky gauze but he still waved it in greeting. His smile was bright as ever but his eyes were so old, as if he’d lived an entire lifetime in the past few hours. Sakura felt hers might look the same.   

Sasuke stared off into the middle distance as he sat on an overturned cooler. He held a wet piece of rag that was tinged pink, though dried blood still crusted around his nose and hairline. A bruise crept over his collar, already a dark purple circling his neck.

“Thank God.” She wrapped her arms around Naruto, smelled smoke and dirt and the tang of burned flesh.

“You look like hell. What happened?” He drew back, cupping his hand protectively around her elbow.

“Could ask you the same question,” Ino said flatly. “Tobi set us up.”

Naruto swore and Sasuke closed his eyes.

“He threatened us. Tried to kill us. It seemed like he wasn’t willingly working for Danzo but,” she glanced over at Kakashi, “that’s a really long story that isn’t mine to tell, honestly. We’re safe now, that’s what matters. We left Tobi trussed up like a chicken back at One Eyed Jack’s.”

Naruto swallowed as if trying to physically stop himself from asking more questions.

“Danzo’s dead. He uh,” he made a trigger gesture with his first two fingers and thumb.

“WHAT?” Ino’s mouth hung open in disbelief.

Sakura shuddered as she watched dark-clothed men swarming the ravine with flashlights and cameras. A white sheet covered the body. 

“Yeah Itachi’s guys showed up in the nick of time.” Naruto spoke through pursed lips, his body leaning up against Sasuke. “If they hadn’t…” He trailed off, then spoke directly to him. “I thought I was about to watch you-”

Sasuke shook his head vehemently. He made as if to reach for his hand, then aborted the motion as his brother approached, fingering the discolorations and welts on the back of his neck.

Not a single hair was out of place on Itachi’s head. His face and hands were clean, unlike everyone else’s soot-and-dirt smeared appearance. In fact, the only sign he’d been involved in the struggle was a tear at the collar of his shirt, as if someone had tried to grab him there.

His eyes slid back and forth between Sasuke and Naruto. He gave a slow, deliberate nod. The corners of Sasuke’s mouth turned down as he looked away. He swallowed really hard and fast before letting out a shaky breath that had been building up within him for years.

Itachi spoke. “My men will continue the investigation into Danzo’s corruption. There will be questions about tonight that will need to be answered.”

Sasuke’s eyes burned like hot coals. When he spoke, it sounded like his throat was full of glass.

“We’ll never know _why_.”  

“No, we won’t,” Kakashi said softly, and they all jumped save for Itachi, since they hadn’t realized he’d been in listening range.

“What do we do now?” Ino asked.

Kakashi stared at the twisted remains of the diner as the inferno faded to embers. He picked absentmindedly at the blood crusting on the side of his face.

“We survive. We move on.” 

 

* * *

 

 

EPILOGUE

Occasionally Sakura misses the soft patter of the rain dripping through the trees, or the smell of fresh-cut pine. More often she misses the sound of her mother’s voice on the other end of the telephone, and the smell of her father’s pipes.

But she buries the ache every morning when Ino kisses her cheek and slides an omelet onto her plate. She’s learned to love Seattle’s grey jungle of buildings and the ever-present traffic outside her window. Every day after class she takes the bus to Madwimmin, a feminist bookstore where she sits behind the cash register with an open anatomy textbook balanced in her lap.

Ino works late at a coffeeshop across town so she takes another two buses to meet her when she gets off. Sometimes they linger over a cup of coffee and leftover scones, discussing the next the latest newsletter from The Dorian Society, or planning a day to volunteer to help those in the community affected by the epidemic. More often they walk home in exhausted silence, melt into each other in bed.

Sasuke still gets nightmares, but every time he wakes in a cold sweat, Naruto is there snoring gently beside him and he can count each breath until he falls back asleep. He takes long, meandering walks again now that the reporters have finally backed off, though he can’t do so without constantly checking over his shoulder. Tobi’s shadow lingers under park benches and behind trees.  But he feels the weight lift off his shoulders a little more every time; like he’s slowly crawling out from under all the guilt and shame and fear.

Naruto's found another diner that'll pay him off the books in exchange for bussing tables. Every now and then he mutters something about getting his GED but Sasuke knows by not to press the matter, that once he's set his mind to it, Naruto will go through hell and high water to get what he wants.   

They meet Sakura and Ino for dinner once a week; the single day their schedules all coincide. Sakura needles him about going back to school, Ino pretends to flirt, and Naruto’s eyes shine brighter than Sasuke’s ever seen.

He keeps three letters tucked in the back of his sock drawer.  The first is a picture of Suigetsu scowling at the camera. The back is covered in Karin’s careful script. _We’re safe. Lying low for the time being. Keep in touch, okay? We could definitely use a man to cover operations on the west coast if you’re interested. I know that you’re probably rolling your eyes and calling me an idiot but I don’t really know how to do anything else to be honest. Still, if you’re ever in a jam we’ve got your back. For Juugo’s sake.  PS Suigetsu says “piss off.” He misses you too._

The second is written on his mother’s stationary and he imagines he can still catch a whiff of her perfume. _Itachi gave me your address. I just want you to know that I love you, and I hope you’ll come back to us one day. Your father worries about you, even though he won’t say so out loud. I can only pray that you’ve learned from your mistakes and that you’re living a life that you can be proud of._

The last one is a postcard of a desert sunset. The back simply reads _in case you get sick of the winters up north. Door’s open._ Followed by an address in Arizona. There’s no signature but the letters have the same laid-back, slouchy posture of a certain diner manager.

Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, and Ino are all saving up for a road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Historical Note: The Dorian Society, founded by Nick Heer in 1967, was the first group in Seattle founded to support gay rights.
> 
>    
> The bookstore "Madwimmin" is a nod to Alison Bechdel's comic Dykes to Watch Out For, which is (in a roundabout way) one of the inspirations for this fic.
> 
> Feel free to message me on tumblr: stopblowingholesinmeship


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